The Angry Redheaded Lawyer

Posting a Pic Publicly ISN'T an Open Invitation to "Holla" at Me, Asshole!

2012-02-13T00:13:00.000-08:00

So, I'm involved in a social networking/review site where you have to post your real pic publicly to be involved in a special status there. I won't tell you the name of it for the sake of my own privacy but it's a special status that earns a bit of bragging rights in some circles.

Normally, I'm not harassed by people on the site though some apparently have met romantic prospects there. Before today, I'd never personally been harassed for that & certainly never at any in-person event as part of this special status.

That changed when this asshole whose user name was his telephone number decides to go comment on my picture then send me a message not based in proper grammar & in all caps. It wasn't something explicit like "I want to fuck you" but I was nonetheless offended.

What's wrong with this, you may ask?

A) I'm happily married & in NO WAY AT ALL fishing for men. I even have a back-up guy, for God's sake. If there's anyone who does not need a man propositioning her, it's me. For those women who might think this opens the door for them to proposition me, I'll wonder if my husband put you up to it since my straightness is pretty obvious.

B) My husband's not exactly kind towards men making compliments to me. He doesn't even like guys to check me out in public. He'd likely kill you or make you wish you were dead. If you managed to win? Then, we get to C.

C) I'LL fucking murder you if you even think of harming my spouse. You'll really find me sexy when I've cut off a testicle or your dick, won't you?

D) Generally speaking, I don't do orders from others & remember that saying about redheads being crazy & having tempers? There's some truth to it. I'm the type who'd poison you, murder you in your sleep & generally make your life Hell if you mess with me. Am I slightly sociopathic? Perhaps. I don't know. I do care more about animals than most people.

To sum up: it's in your best interest not to end up on the wrong side of a natural redhead. Bad things will happen & you will regret it.

You can pay a sincere compliment in the air of niceness & not trying to get in our private parts. We women like that sort of thing.

What we don't like is sloppily composed messages by men who have social media profiles that announce "I'm a horndog. Fuck me, baby!" If you're not a legit user someplace & your user name is your telephone number, you've given me that message.

The grammar thing is also a pet peeve of mine. Illiteracy isn't going to impress a lawyer, thanks.

To me, it's the same as getting whistled at or catcalled in real life. You're the type of guy I want to see get a horrific STD that will make his dick fall off or end up with some creepy chick who gives him what he deserves, which would be some permanent alterations.

This isn't even the first time I've gotten harassed because of my picture being available publicly. I once had a user on the online site where I met my husband proposition me. This guy was old enough to be my father & an attorney in Massachusetts. I pointed out that A) I was not available & said so in my profile, B) he was old enough to be my father, C) my father would kill him & D) I wasn't going to sleep with someone to get a career since I can get one on my own.

Yeah, you're not going to do anything different or interesting in approaching me in such a fashion since I've seen it before. All you will succeed at is pissing me off & making yourself a target for wrath. Do you really want to do that to yourself? I don't take kindly to it as a "joke" either; you'd certainly better not have entertainment aspirations if you do it.

Classy women aren't impressed with catcalls or the online equivalent. Save that for hookers & women with low self-esteem! Hookers are only in it for the money & women with low self-esteem will be more interested than those of us who are still getting competing offers even when we don't want them.

This should be yet another illustration of why I don't post my pics publicly when I can avoid it. I'm sure if I did it on LinkedIn I'd STILL have some cretin bothering me or telling me he masturbated to my pic or something.

Conspiracies to Deny Effective Participation & The Problem With Unions

2012-02-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

When I get cards in the mail about my husband's latest union meeting & knowing where our community board meetings are held, I do ask myself that question.

First off, some facts about where I live in NYC. Queens, to be precise. There are parts of Queens that should just be annexed to the suburbs since as far as I'm concerned, you're in Nassau County if you live outside the MTA subway line. You may as well be Staten Island & everyone knows how NYC residents feel about Staten Island (most of us would like them to become their own little community already).

Some of these transit nightmare parts also exist in neighborhoods where the MTA subway line runs. A portion of these are in my local community & henceforth, I don't feel great loyalty there. Why would anyone want to be someplace where you get all the disadvantages of both the city and the suburbs? Plus, if I can get to a restaurant in Manhattan more easily, why would I get on a bus that only runs every 30 minutes or so to get to a restaurant in Queens (assuming everything with the restaurants is equal)?

I already have a number of reasons I prefer going to and dealing with things in Manhattan over Queens. I'm apparently not the only person noticing better sanitation grades in parts of Manhattan I can get to, better service on the whole in Manhattan or more convenience.

Our community board meetings & my husband's union meetings are both held in transit dead zones or places where transit is a total joke.

I can't help but wonder if the location of these meetings is deliberate so people won't attend & won't participate. Would YOU participate in a meeting you can't attend virtually & would have to drive to when you don't have a car or would have to leave your alternate side street parking spot to get there?!?!?!

Is this the case in other communities? I do feel like it's totally the case in mine. Do organizers in government, unions & elsewhere deliberately set up meetings in out of the way or inconvenient spots so the average person won't participate & therefore, little Hitlers can reign?

My husband's union reps should be glad I'm not part of it because I'd be in their faces all the time & demanding accountability. I hear about so much appalling behavior going on in my husband's workplace that would turn anyone against unions.

Are you curious? I'll give you some basic examples of problems I'm aware of. First off, the no-strike clause. The very first thing anyone associates with a union is the ability to strike!!! Being a union whose workers can't strike? If it were a person, it would be a man with no testicles (literally or figuratively).

Second, a number of his co-workers who have never had to worry about being laid off in the past few layoff rounds are STILL working there after being called for discipline multiple times, being kicked out of multiple branches after being bigoted to colleagues & members of the public (one person who was offended was a city council member).

Meanwhile, a number of people there (including my spouse) work their butts off, have gotten great reviews from co-workers & management but continue to get denied for promotions AND are put on the layoff list. Do you see anything wrong with this picture? One of these people was in fact laid off while all these deadweight scumbags got to keep their jobs.

I think the city needs a citizens' accountability group for taxpayers to reel in these wastes of public money by public officials & institutions. I haven't found a local one to exist; if it does, it's surely too wussy and passive to really do what I think a good group should be doing. We'd be front & center, bringing in the media & causing a huge ruckus if I was leading it.

Furthermore, if you want to encourage citizens to participate in unions or local government maybe you should have meeting locations that are accessible to everyone, not just your golden children.

Who wouldn't suspect something shady with putting your meetings in locations no one can get to easily?

Unions in particular ought to be shaping up as well if they want public support. Stop encouraging loafing & laziness in your ranks. Get rid of the dead weight, the people who don't want to be there and the utter assholes! Jobs aren't a fucking right or an entitlement, damn it! You EARN them!!! Maybe instead of covering up for these types, they should be gone so competent people who actually do their jobs well could get promotions instead of layoffs favoring the lazy assholes.

Do I sound bitter? Maybe, but consider how you'd feel if it were your loved one losing all passion for his/her job due to this kind of bullshit. When the only way you can move upward is by sucking the right dick & you have to commit a felony before you can be fired from a job you're stinking at, you might feel better about some private businesses.

This is not to say there's no BS in private business but it seems like they have more incentives to get rid of under-performing or abusive assholes. Racists managers are a PR nightmare in a for profit company; so are sexual predators, thieves & lazy jerks. A poorly run private company will eventually go out of business. I as a consumer will certainly not support one if I hear or see that they're harboring incompetents. I would certainly get rid of incompetents in my own company in a second & I know my partners would never expect any one of us to suffer abuse, laziness or actions that would ruin our business reputation if made known to the general public. Being my friend or relative means nothing. If you aren't hacking it, you're gone.

My personal solution is somehow creating a union that considers + rewards/punishes actual work performance instead of just seniority. Even a system to clear out the dead weight quickly so those people sitting at home unemployed who'd do twice the work for half the pay could get a shot to succeed instead of some entitled, bloated lump. Yeah, I'm not a fan of tenure or teacher's unions either.

Final thought: not everyone can be the boss. If you can't be impartial, deliver the facts in a concise way & treat people with respect, then you've got no business managing anyone. I say this having fired & interviewed people. Wusses need not bother working in management.

There's a lot more to it & certainly to business ownership but I view the presence of incompetents as a malignant tumor to a business. They should be doing something they want to do & given real training for it but if after all that, they're still screwing up the answer isn't to let them get disciplinary records longer than the entire city subway line while continuing to pay them a salary & laying off competent workers with "less seniority."

Some Self-Promotion..Rants Coming Soon

2012-02-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

One of my posts is now on The Girl's Guide to Law School blog. Go check it out here.

And I will definitely have some video rants to do...for one thing, I can't stand the sheer number of people lately who seem to be okay with getting all up in a woman's private business when it comes to reproductive matters.

If you don't like abortion, then don't get one.

But don't tell me what to do about my own household. Don't tell me to die if I get pregnant (as I've had a tubal it would be a tubal pregnancy, meaning zero chance of survival for mother or fetus) because of YOUR religion's tenants. Guess what? Not everyone practices YOUR faith or cares about YOUR interpretation of YOUR God's will.

The arrogance I've seen lately makes me just want to murder some folk. I also wonder what they'd say if it was THEIR mother, sister, child, or other female friend or loved one who was the victim of a rape or incest. What if that female person was in no condition to care for a child? Is it more humane for that child to be born into a drug den or to live with an alcoholic? Should that child be thought of as a mistake & raised by some jerk who will eventually let it slip that they weren't wanted?

Now to do some more boring stuff, though at least I have things to occupy my time.

The Whole Cooking vs. Eating Out Debate

2012-01-30T17:44:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure this is a topic I've really discussed here. You might think "She lives in NYC & works in entertainment. Surely she's eating out ALL THE TIME." I mean, look at Sex & the City where Carrie even talks about how she can't cook in one episode. I've not seen it in ages & in no way do I have an encyclopedic knowledge of that show but I do own all the seasons on DVD & saw both of the movies with that former friend who tried ruining my sister's wedding.

Perhaps that's a reason I've not seen it recently: it's tainted for me b/c of that former friend. Another good reason is if I'm writing something with even remote similarity to something I've seen, I don't want to be unduly influenced by it while in the writing process. There's inspiration & then there's copying; I want to avoid copying.

Anyway, one important Southern stereotype that actually isn't inaccurate when you're talking about me is that I can cook. I may not be a master chef but it's sort of a cultural expectation where I grew up that if you're female you learn some cooking skills since eventually, you're going to have a husband and kids to take care of & it's irresponsible to have them live off fast food. One of those "making you more marketable as a wife" deals.

Cooking in many circles of women is like sports for men. There's different cuisines, different interests & styles but it's something many of us can actually talk about & make attempts at. Plenty of women would look down on a woman who couldn't even boil water or thinks TV dinners are good for you 7 days a week.

I actually didn't get to do full cooking until I went to law school. I do much more of it now since I'm married, have more income to buy things, a kitchen with an oven, stove, appliances, etc. & just can't eat certain things anymore because they mess up my stomach. I also like knowing what's in my food & if I cook it, I'll know.

Part of my interest in cooking came from eating something at a restaurant & feeling I could make it better (usually less greasy but also less fatty or without something the restaurant had in it that I hated). My mom also did more cooking when we were younger & we helped out on that. I even took Home Ec in middle school & tried taking this Foods & Nutrition class in high school.

However, the high school class was taught by this mega-bitch who demanded you to eat whatever was prepared even if you: had an allergy, didn't like it, had a small stomach (you didn't get to pick your portion size) or was nervous about someone's sanitation practices. This woman even checked the garbage so if you didn't want something & wanted to leave, you had to sneak the food out & throw it away elsewhere (far more than the simple taste). I ended up doing that once when we had this absolutely disgusting dessert in the class. I transferred out b/c of it though I had some entertaining classmates & got to sit with a table of older kids (including a guy who was our class clown/troublemaker).

I found out later she had cancer but I didn't (and still don't) think that made her behavior okay.

Another great thing about cooking for yourself? You never have to deal with the BS of restaurant wait times. I have to agree with this woman's sentiments. I don't consider myself to have some weird food tasting issue (I'm not a non-taster); I just don't have that kind of time in my life & lack patience for long lines.

This is not just a trendy restaurant issue; The Cheesecake Factory & other chain restaurants suffer from this as well on Saturday & Friday evenings.

Plus, my food will probably come out better anyway & be the way I want it, not how YOU want to serve it to me. I absolutely, without a doubt, despise any restaurant that dictates to me how my food is going to be. If I ask for "no onions" on my food, I expect to get it.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not some high maintenance bitch but at the same time, if I'm paying for it I'll have it my way or you can shove it up your butt. You want to serve it to me YOUR way??? Don't charge me for it! Better yet, why not pay me to be your food taster? Otherwise, don't expect me to spend money for gunk I won't eat & don't expect to have that many paying customers.

Luckily, my husband is also picky & loves my cooking so he'll generally opt for that over any restaurant's food.

Yet another reason home cooking is better? It's much cheaper. This article is a bunch of crap for many reasons:

1. Any smart person knows you shop for sales or find the best deal on something based on a quality/price calculation. Buying from the NYC Fresh Express isn't going to cut it. Try a grocery store with lots of sales & quality goods or even the farmer's market.

2. The serving sizes here are inaccurate as commenters to the story pointed out.

3. They left out the tax & tip. Are they trying to tell people to stiff servers? I'm sure that's going to go over well.

4. Let's also consider the future medical costs when you get a heart attack, diabetes or whatever bad health condition that arises from excess grease, fat, etc. Using a copycat recipe & making it at home is a lot better. Plus, you'll likely eat less at home.

5. Finally, there's those darn restaurant wait times. Some are so long that by the time you've gotten your food, you could have made it yourself & already eaten it ages ago.

At the end of the day, my food doesn't make anyone sick so we'll stick with it. I think eating out should be done in moderation like for special occasions. I couldn't handle eating restaurant food everyday & would not want to. You shouldn't want to either, unless maybe no one in your family can cook. Then I just pity you.

Or, you could go to a restaurant that offers a theme like Hooters or even this one in South Korea.

Now, why has this kind of restaurant not opened nationwide in America? Don't we believe in equal opportunity for exploitation? Shouldn't men have the right to use their looks for the service industry just as women have? Wouldn't gay men & straight women really like this concept? I've been saying for years this sort of thing should be more equal opportunity.

Oh, and I should point out that I'm not one of those women who'd freak out if my significant other went to Hooters or who'd get jealous of a Hooters girl. After all, most people would think I'm pretty enough to work there & I know my husband's only got eyes for me. Years ago, I applied for a job at one in my hometown when I was trying to find a job after college (ideally, it was going to supplement this job I applied for & allow me to earn money to move to NYC even quicker); I think I must have failed the intelligence & pushover requirements to work there because I spoke to the manager and I think he was irked about me using it for this supplemental purpose.

I heard later on about Hooters workers who were quite unhappy with extra hours & general management nastiness (I don't remember anything about that location but I heard about it as a general corporate practice).

Vampire Boy even went to Hooters once with friends (I wasn't there) & I'm still somewhat amused by that considering he WAS Vampire Boy (no sparkles or movie star looks, though) + conventionally pretty women did nothing for him. It would be like the biggest redneck you know going to a wine tasting.

The most significant thing he came away with? He thought the food was horrible. Since then, I've heard more people say this about the food.

My husband also isn't the Hooters type & would get pissed if you didn't have good food or were rude to me or him. Flirting in my presence would probably make me amused at best since I know that chick would have no chance in any lifetime. I'd probably also tell her she could do better; my husband's certainly had enough people shocked at my looks & the fact that I'M married to him so it would probably be true.

Anyhow, you're better off learning to cook & eating at home where it's more comfy, you don't have to deal with screaming children (unless they're yours) or lazy parents & can have it YOUR way.

Self-Segregation & Why It's a Bad Thing

2012-01-25T15:17:00.000-08:00

I recently got some paperwork requesting me to join a women's bar association. Putting aside my general feelings about bar associations, I considered this and then as I was cleaning things out yesterday decided to pass.

To get an idea of my general views on such efforts, read this earlier post on "diversity" efforts in law firms.

I'm not a big fan of doing such professional groups. Being in a sorority or some social group for childfree people is one thing: sororities don't make it a practice to tell members to never talk to men or exclude them from their lives. Mine has never said "You can't have a male mentor!" or "You can't get any useful advice from men." The type of social group for childfree people that I would associate with would never say "All parents are bad!" or "Hate your child relatives." Sororities do plan events with fraternities & some are little sisters in frats (I wasn't). My point is a proper sorority is supposed to bolster the women involved and help them socialize with men.

These groups don't operate under the idea of self-segregation. They aren't telling you to shun anyone who doesn't fit their category. If they are, I leave.

I've read tons of stories recently on how there are few women filmmakers, executives, and how women don't get advancement as attorneys. However, I don't run around with a mindset of "I'm different" and I think it's a terrible idea to do that.

Saying "I'm different" tends to lead to thinking you're inferior or second class compared to men. If you want to be a woman who succeeds, you can't be thinking that way.

This is my first major problem with self-segregating professional groups. I have never viewed myself as "different" or less entitled to things than someone else. I don't really notice being a woman doing what I'm doing or being a redhead or even being attractive or younger than many people. I just see it as me, the person who doesn't take shit & is happy to piss off whiny idiots doing what I want to do. I've also found quite a few men who forge ahead & don't put themselves into special categories. I don't go out & ask for respect; I simply command it. I'm not called "the enforcer" for being a little wimp, you know?

My second problem is the idea that ONLY people just like me can give me career advice or mentor me. That's total crap. For one thing, if I just look for the natural redheads then the women doing stuff I probably wouldn't have any mentors. Plus, how do you know that older women are even going to help or support you? Some women are very catty & behave like they never left 7th grade. I'm not of them but I've encountered women ahead of me in the game who said they had no mentors & had to deal with catty bitch types who felt that young women should have to suck it up just like they did. I don't know this for sure but it seems men are less prone to this kind of behavior when it comes to professional women. If it's between a woman or a man for a mentor, I'd like to see what each person's career path is, their mindsets, backgrounds, etc. I'd rather pick the person who gets it & understands what I'm seeking over someone inflicting their own agenda on me or who hasn't a clue what I'm doing or what it's like to be in my shoes. Someone who will be supportive vs. a catty bitchy jerk. I can find cattiness easily enough; I'm not going to roll out a red carpet for it.

Third, having a separate, segregated group is like saying "I'm inferior so I need help to get ahead. I can't do it alone." I don't feel that way about myself. I don't need special programs to get ahead & I don't want to get something because of my sex or my hair color or anything else I can't control. There are many "minorities" who feel the same way. We just want an even playing field & a better environment for everyone, not just our particular group.

Now I do like the camaraderie, support style aspect of such groups. I'm sure people like that & find it useful. Certainly my sorority has that aspect to it.

However, if it's not a social group you never know whether it's just a support style group where you can have any viewpoints you want & simply talk to people (other women, redheads, whatever) or if you have to start taking on views you don't agree with for the sake of "group conformity."

For example, I don't think you have to stomp on men or anyone else to get ahead. Some women's groups feel differently. Some women want to discriminate against skinny women & aren't very nice to them. You don't see men cutting down more attractive men or shunning THEM. Women, on the other hand, do it all the time. Now I'm not speaking individually, I'm speaking of women as a group so don't take personal offense. If you're a woman, you know there are some catty & unpleasant ones among us.

I also think you lose valuable perspectives and insight if you're not talking to people who are different from you & have a different philosophy, mindset, experience, whatever. The world is NOT just women or just black people or just Asians or just natural redheads. You're going to have to talk to people who aren't like you sooner or later & it's better from a learning & maturity standpoint to do it sooner in my book. Plus, you get some great debates & perspectives there.

Finally, I'm a lot more than just a woman or just this or just that. I think self-segregating professional groups profoundly box you into those categories so when people think of you, they instantly think of a separate bar association or category group. I don't want anyone's first thought about me to be "She's in that women's bar association." Then, I'm just "that woman" not anything else that might be unique or significant & isn't tied to something I had no control over or is associated with some past history of oppression or affirmative action. My sorority feels different since it's not so tied up in my career or a one-dimensional place where you can't play devil's advocate. It's also more a facet of tradition & men have their fraternities so I think it balances out more.

Has anyone seen men's bar associations? I don't know of any myself. Could you imagine the outcry if those existed today? If you'd be pissed about that, ask yourself why any other group should exist. In 2012, can we not just have groups that welcome ALL people & give EVERYONE a voice? I think having to self-segregate is also a leadership failing in so-called "inclusive" groups that ought to be dealt with to eliminate this need for self-segregation. See the difference between a social group where you're just hanging out & talking to people & professional groups like bar associations doing this???

Seems It's The Entertainment Field For Me

2012-01-23T21:20:00.000-08:00

After getting rejected for what seems to be the billionth & one legal job I tried for, I think it's time to go with the theory that the universe says "Angry Redheaded Lawyer, you belong in the entertainment industry. Stop trying to get a day job in the legal sector!"

At least the company interviewing me for the job behaved professionally, including with proper follow up. The Klausner Group deserves special recognition for this. Based on my experiences, I would certainly consider doing business with them or recommending them to others.

I've also had some networking meetings lately, including with an attorney working at a large law firm. I'll be perfectly honest: when I see a mega law firm or a prestigious law school by your name & you want to talk to little old me, I do tend to wonder if I'm going to be dealing with one of those stereotypical asshole attorneys everyone hates. It also makes me wonder what type of commonality you're possibly going to see with me. After all, I'm a massive hater of those folks & I'm quite vocal about it.

Thankfully, my faith in humanity was restored a little by these encounters with folks. The contact I met with told me outright that he hates other lawyers. I'm like "Yes!!" since as a group, I totally hate them. It's not self-hatred so much as "You assholes are dragging down the whole group & we don't even like talking to you since you're so dull, boring & empty." I'm also not the only one who doesn't see a point in networking with other attorneys; that made me feel more confident in the fact that I really don't network with attorneys who aren't in the entertainment industry (and if they are assholes, I make sure they never get squat from me). It also made me feel far less bad about not going to attorney networking events & seeing them as a waste of my time since they don't provide me with much utility. The entertainment ones are much more fun, anyway.

I also signed up for an improv class; I've been dying to do this since I went to the People's Improv Theater one evening & joined in on an improv event. My husband told me I was pretty good, people seemed to like my work & I loved being on stage for it. There's also the whole giving me something to do aspect & not feeling like I'm dragging down the curve when it's time to do my own web series. Finally found something quality that was also affordable. This isn't an easy feat in NYC.

Guess I also have to get used to stupidity by anonymous morons too chicken shit to do anything for themselves & spend all their time bringing others down. If you're going to be a detracting asshole, try posting under your real name & coming out in the open if you want anyone to take you seriously. Otherwise, you're just a fucking joke. Don't know about anyone else but I consider it my life's work to piss people off by merely existing. If you're smart, you live the same philosophy.

Detractors are clearly people unhappy in themselves who need to do the world a favor & either get some therapy or off themselves instead of spreading their bad karma around. I'll give you realism if I know about something but I'd never say "You'll never get famous" or "You'll never make it" to anyone. See the difference?

For Those Whiny Folks Who Don't Get the Whole SOPA Blackout

2012-01-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

Get a freaking clue!!! SOPA & PIPA are basically an attempt to chop off someone's arm to stop the bleeding from a paper cut. Craig's List, Wikipedia and other sites are participating in this blackout (including yours truly, whose website was blocked a little later today as I'm not tech savvy & had to tell my webmaster about it; I would block this one but I don't know how to do it on Blogger).

Chris Dodd, head of the MPAA, former politician and your basic 1%er (i.e. most likely a corrupt scumbag vs. the rich folk who have fully functioning brains & have actually USED the Internet regularly) is a moron who apparently is all butt hurt by the whole blackout. Maybe he also has a problem with the 1st Amendment's guarantee of free speech when it isn't for HIS friends or something putting money in HIS pocket.

I wouldn't be shocked if this was true, especially since he's a champion of Internet censorship under the guise of stopping piracy instead of adapting to modern times & changing his organization's outdated business model.

I'd also like to know where he was when This Film is Not Yet Rated was being done & what he's doing + done about the so-called MPAA reforms.

And would someone explain to me just when school kids were allowed to use Wikipedia as a credible research source for schoolwork? Back in college (about 10 years ago), we were expressly forbidden to use Wikipedia for research papers. We were told by professors that it was NOT a credible resource & we could only use scholarly resources for our work. That same speech was given when I was in high school doing a research paper in my 10th grade Honors Seminar class (a combined English/Social Studies class for those ranking higher than mere Honors classes--in 11th & 12th grade, this would be AP). If you'd used it in my time, you'd have been brought up on plagiarism & failed the work. Even writing sites I worked on are strict about plagiarism & say they will check your work to make sure it's original. If you get caught, you're gone with no second chances.

What's with all these high school kids freaking out about the lack of Wikipedia?? Maybe they should get off their butts & do proper research, then? You think lawyers get to use Wikipedia when writing briefs and presenting papers to the court? They don't!!! That's like having a doctor use Operation to perform surgery.

If I were an instructor & you used it as your source in my class, I would fail your ass & publicly shame you. Let Mommy & Daddy whine, cry & try suing me! I'd tell their lawyer directly that (s)he was a desperate moron if they would even take that case to start with. I'd also have to ask what (s)he thinks the grievance committee or a judge would say about a lawyer using Wikipedia in papers to the court or to the partners in a law firm. It also goes without saying that I'd have to call those parents deadbeats & entitlemoos (to borrow a childfree term) who should never have bred to start with. To their faces, I might add.

Please tell me education in this country has not fallen that low. If it has, we will have very few skilled professionals in the next generation.

Lastly, if you want to see what happens when a childfree person has a child, I suggest you read the book "We Need to Talk About Kevin" by Lionel Shriver. I didn't get to read it all but of what I did read, it epitomizes why you're an idiot if you think a person who doesn't want to do something as important as be a parent should do it anyway.

Friday the 13th is My Lucky Day & Why I Need a Gay Male Friend

2012-01-15T12:47:00.000-08:00

It is, believe it or not. Traditionally, I never have major disappointments or terrible problems on Friday the 13th. I know it's considered "unlucky" and all that, but it's always been the opposite for me.

Valentine's Day, on the other hand, the day conventional society considers "happy" and great was shitty for me when I was single & old enough to be interested in dating. The story of that has been discussed in earlier posts. Today's for Friday the 13th.

Friday the 13th was actually the day I selected for my wedding: October 13th, in fact. I figured my Friday the 13th luck + the same month as Halloween, a "scary" holiday would be perfect since I'd be assured the groom would show up. I also wore black to make damn sure it went well for me. Plus, I'm not a traditionalist & never claimed to be.

I also ended up having a date with this guy I'd had a crush on, my freshman fling if you will. That was my sophomore year after he was pursuing this other girl who was friends with my friends & told us all about that date (she was pissed at him afterwards for being too cheap to do valet parking but taking her to this super expensive restaurant).

This Friday the 13th wasn't much different in the whole "things going my way" dynamic. I got 2 different things in the mail from the same hotel I'd gone to for holding at my last extra gig (that one where they lied about the amount of time extras were needed & where I chose not to be exploited when I wasn't even getting paid). One was stating I'd won their Winter Sweepstakes & the second was a birthday greeting. Both entitle me to events there that I now have to go through & see who can attend. Still waiting to hear back from the people who sent this stuff to iron out all the details.

By the way, this is the second contact I've gotten about free parties for my birthday. I'm starting to feel like either an unwitting socialite or a gangster. I wonder if these people know I'm married & to a man who hates most clubs/lounges + also doesn't drink.

See, I don't mind dancing though I'd never consider myself the world's greatest or anything close to it. I was super self-conscious about it when I was younger b/c I had classmates in middle school who'd tell me to do it on command (I didn't) but I didn't have much confidence in doing it until I went to my first frat party & most of the people there were drunk. I figured A) I'm seeing much worse dancers here & B) if anyone criticizes me, I can just say "How would you know how I dance? You were drunk!" No one bothered me about it so now I'm better about it.

Still, though I generally won't unless a sufficient amount of other people are doing it (particularly non-pros) especially if there's no drinking happening. Since getting married, I don't really get to do it much. I did get to on Friday when I went to this networking event that wasn't disclosed to me as a singles event but apparently was to the guy who asked me to dance.

Free dating tip for you guys: women like men who will dance with them. If you're good at it, even better. Getting to dance with someone who's good when you're average at best is a great thing. If you can't dance, try getting lessons.

The problem with me doing that, though is that this guy seemed to get the wrong idea. Why the fuck can't I just dance for the sake of dancing?! Why can't my being married mean that either you move along to a single girl (if that's your intent) or you just talk to me as a fucking potential friend/networking contact/basis for creative work without trying to make sexual overtures?! It's not like I can flirt (if you think I flirt with people, you've not been out in public with me; I generally do my best to give off the "I'm not here for a hook-up" vibe & have never approached a guy unless a creepier guy was bothering me--then it's a matter of survival vs. putting one's self out there). I also make it a personal mission not to go out of my way to impress others (as I have for my entire dating life & could explain why I didn't have that one true love I married out of high school). This pervasive "guy getting the wrong idea" stuff has even come up in legal networking events!

I realize there's a lack of attractive female attorneys & that few people act like me but Jesus Christ! The way I've been treated at times, you'd think I was the last female catch left on Earth.

It's not like I walk around in pasties and a thong, you know. Even if I did, I think it would be more artistic on me than sexy (I think exposed butt cheeks & nipples are inappropriate unless you're doing a theater/film/TV role that called for it; most likely, I'd not take that sort of role though I have done swimsuits on stage).

Furthermore, how about the right of a woman to dress as she wants to? Why should my having a figure & looks be a punishment? Sometimes a cigar IS just a cigar, folks!

See why I have to be an enforcer? If I weren't, I'd be in a perpetual race against some aspiring Pepe Le Pew.

We actually just got the new Pepe Le Pew cartoon set and when you watch him in action, you're like "Wow, Pepe Le Pew's a rapist & into some kinky stuff."

Consider some of his pickup lines. If you used them, I guarantee women would smack you if not worse. A couple gems:

* Introducing yourself to a woman as "[Your name], your lover."
* Saying "Everyone should have a hobby. My hobby is making love." to a woman you've just met.

Seems if I want to go dancing anywhere & especially in a club, I'm going to have get a gay male friend who A) can dance, B) will go to clubs, C) has a steady boyfriend/husband, D) is hard-core, super gay but either doesn't look it on the outside or scares straight men & ideally E) the steady boyfriend/husband hates going out as much as my husband.

Heck, it seems I need that friend for going to most things.

I think that combo would work so I could just dance for the sake of dancing & not have to worry about a partner getting the wrong idea. No one's looking for romantic prospects so no being a third wheel. If the guy looks straight to others or terrifies straight men w/his gayness, it keeps cretins from bothering me (remember, I'm straight & not even the slightest bit curious so leading on a woman isn't an option).

Barring that, maybe I should get some type of libido reduction drug I can slip into people's drinks. Light enough to keep someone conscious & able to carry on a conversation but strong enough to stop the dude from thinking I'm going to violate my marriage vows. My field DOES require networking & is it my fault that many of the people with power and influence in the professional sphere are men?

Maybe if some of you men weren't making me uncomfortable with the sexual overtures, I'd help you find someone who makes you as happy as my spouse makes me.

I don't think this was a bad guy per se but if I managed to find someone, I know there's hope for most single people. Think of the awful scumbags you know who have significant others. If they have them, why not you?

Guess Who's Picking Your Nursing Home, Evil Parents?!?!?

2012-01-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

It seems like parental relations is one of those universal areas that everyone can relate to. Even if you've never met them or you were adopted, nearly everyone's got some kind of opinion about the people who took care of them in childhood. If no one took care of you? Surely you're pissed at someone for dropping the ball there, right?

But as you might long to meet your biological parents or had to fend for yourself, there's still people who had objectively "good" parents who are miserable.

Take the case of the parent who's too strict. This is the world my sister & I grew up in. My mother, as you should have already read, was MEGA strict. She's also a religious conservative despite other things she has said & done in life. I still haven't asked about that whole sheltering a pedophile thing but man, I've got more ammo to use on her now.

You may recall my mentioning her attitude on children born outside of a marriage (she's so against it that she told me & my sister that the first one of us to have a child that wasn't out of wedlock would get the doll my grandmother had as a girl). You may also remember me talking about my sister being pregnant.

Despite my disagreements with her and having a very different mindset (maybe I'm the Terminator of my family because my mother & sister refuse to debate on issues or stand up for themselves on most things), I do actually speak to her & would care if she lived or died. Seems my mother has been going on her little judgmental digs lately. I don't really get it from her since I think I long since established that I'd cut people off for it but apparently, she felt it was okay to diminish her own grandkids by telling my sister that this baby would be the first she'd have that wasn't out of wedlock & saying it in a judgmental tone.

She's also apparently called my sister a breeder b/c this would be her third kid, claiming this was her fourth pregnancy. Never mind the fact that she lost the second one, her oldest probably wouldn't be alive today if she'd had him in wedlock and that the laws are such that it was more beneficial for her to stay single instead of getting married and impoverishing herself while her intended was not employed.

I also learned that my uncle apparently made such cracks about her kids' origins in front of them. That is totally uncool in my book. Kids remember shit like that. I still remember a long deceased aunt telling me and my sister that she loved us less than our male cousins. That happened over 20 years ago.

My sister apparently asked my mom how our grandmother would be if she were alive today (she died when I was 5 of cancer & I don't have any memories of her being a bitch to me). My mother apparently said that she would have more to say than she would.

Wow!! Way to make me be happy that my grandmother died before she could ever disapprove of us! Way to make me happy she's not around to vote some sexist ticket for the presidency! I wonder how happy she was with her daughter marrying an abusive alcoholic who disrespected her and made her grandkids feel like crap. Under that logic, she'd be calling me a slut and probably evil or a corrupted victim (which would piss me off as I was angry w/my father thinking of us as mindless robots when I was about 10 & felt he was an idiot for not getting that we had minds of our own & could see how he treated our mother, which we didn't approve of).

I also think grandparents tend to dote more on their grandkids & give them more latitude than they would their kids. My husband actually had a great relationship with his grandparents and they were actually the people who cared and supported him on things he wanted to do in life.

I've not heard my mother speak this way in front of me.

Maybe you'd say "That's because you're 'The Angry Redheaded Lawyer'/'The Avenger'."

Perhaps...

Maybe it's also because I've said in no uncertain terms that for instance, being nasty to my non-religious husband or making him feel unwelcome or uncomfortable in any way means you don't get to be in my life.

Maybe it's relevant to my being the highest educated person & not wanting to piss off the only attorney/film executive you're going to have meaningful access to.

I'd grant you all of this. I also stood up for myself a lot in college, even pointing out where my mother wanted to get uppity over my doing the very things she said to do. I'm also the person who told her she wasn't a supportive or comforting parent so she shouldn't be shocked at being the last to know about my sister's first pregnancy.

I was also the one who told my father that he should be glad my sister had a husband who stood up for her when he decided to get in her face & her first husband got in his face. I could see her current husband do the same thing & I would hope that he would as a man. My father ended up agreeing with me after being mad at my sister's first husband.

Let's consider something for a moment: who do you think will be dealing with elder care for these people when they're too old to be self-sufficient? I live hundreds of miles away, work in an industry that doesn't travel so well & have a husband who absolutely wouldn't live in the South. My sister lives a few minutes away.

Give up? My sister. Might be in my mother's best interest not to be a jerk to my sister, don't you think? I might end up making more money but I'm not going to be a physical presence or doing those in-person visits at the same level as my sister.

And people wonder why I'm of the school that family is what you make, not who you're born to along with why being "family" doesn't automatically mean much to me unless you're a sorority sister or part of the One Way family i.e. a member of a family I chose for myself?

My husband, in fact, has joked that he will be sticking his parents in the world's worst nursing home. He may actually do it based on some serious things going on in his past & his mother's behavior in particular. I already told him that I have no say on it because that's his choice. He most likely feels the same about mine. Neither of us was there for childhood with the other's parents so if the one who lived it feels their parents need to suffer for being an ass, then it's not the place of someone who came into the fold as a grownup and much later in life to make those decisions.

Karmic justice. I wonder how many people do this. Ever think that maybe some older people were real jerks to their relatives & that's why they don't visit them at the home? Could be a viable explanation but I can't see that many elderly people being unrepentant scumbags. Then again, it may very well be a case of being on the outside looking in.

As for me & my husband, we intend to have the money for good care later on or be dead first. Not being self-sufficient is, for us, a form of death. I'd rather not be alive if I had no quality of life; husband agrees. Hence, no life support for us.

God, see how stressful it can be to work in this industry? I now have to think about which relationships I'm kicking out of my life due to toxicity. I'll take being alone over being abused; liberation is better than companionship at any cost. There are a great many people in the world and I know you can find some gems if you look hard enough.

How a Life Turns Around & Some Mini-Rants

2012-01-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

When we last left The Angry Redheaded Lawyer, she was in a serious funk over perceived stagnation in her career. I'm not the sort of person who does well at waiting on things; I never have. This is probably why I took a wheeled suitcase to do grocery shopping when I didn't have a license/car & no one would give me a ride. The wheeled suitcase was so I wouldn't have the situation I had another time when I tried carrying a ton of groceries home & had shoulder pain for 2 days.

To kill my boredom & do more constructive things, I signed up with an acting coach and decided to see about taking some acting classes at an affordable price & good schedule not just for the sake of beefing up my performance resume but also to save my life (mentally speaking). I love performing, almost never get to do it and felt a class would at a minimum give me something to do as well as a forum.

As I was preparing to just seek out classes & chill out for a bit (with my husband telling me he continues to support my endeavors & my being happy in my own life), I get an out of the blue e-mail about a job I'd long since given up on. At least my interviewer for it did bother to tell me straight out that (presumably) I had no chance since I wasn't getting a follow up interview. Unlike many potential employers I encountered, I appreciated at least getting an honest answer where I've had many who never bothered responding to such follow ups. Though a part of me was like "Well, why not just tell me directly I suck?"

I figured that this rejection was just further confirmation that I needed to keep myself in the entertainment industry since people there actually (gasp!) respect me & listen to what I have to say. I'm telling you, if you feel persecuted as a lawyer you should work in entertainment since people will kiss up to lawyers in this business & be nice to you. Plus, I believe in giving back what you get from people & if someone's not causing trouble with you or harming you in some fashion, there's no reason to start conflicts. If I'm nasty to someone, there's a good reason for it.

Just as I resign myself to pursuing acting classes & chilling while waiting on film company stuff to happen, I get an out of the blue follow up on that job I thought I'd been long rejected for. Got an in-person interview for it tomorrow. I feel like if I'm going to do legal recruiting work, that's the best & probably only setting for me to do it in. It seems like the setting where I'm most likely to succeed and where my personality could be an asset vs. something I have to cover up like a pimple on the forehead.

Then, I get contacted by someone who wants to talk with me over my expertise in this industry. If you're a lawyer w/some experience (especially if your career is unusual), I think it's critical to talk to the up & comers + provide guidance when they ask. I like getting it myself & have found very few people doing what I'm doing. Not to mention helping the profession as a whole & all that good stuff. So that boosted my self-esteem some. I always try to think of things I'd have liked to hear when I was in that situation & mention facts I had to discover on my own, with very little guidance (especially from attorneys).

I don't view up & comers as competition since eventually they're going to be doing what I'm doing (no one lives forever) and I think it's better for all involved for them to have some support so they can do their best + generally be more competent for the client base. Plus, the entertainment field is so based on the personal that you have to forge your own way here. You have to find your own cheerleaders, your own fans/army/angels/whatever you call those supporters who trust you & believe in you.

Not to mention that if you care about what you're doing, you should be doing your part to raise the curve for everyone in it. I don't want poorly trained or mentored attorneys my age tainting the field & making me look bad by association.

So, we'll see where this interview goes. I hope I'll continue to be treated as a professional & not a number or groveling peon. At least if I'm not, I can just conclude it wouldn't be a fit and be on my way.

If things go bad on this, though I'm probably not going to pursue "traditional" legal stuff. Recently, I had family members dare to suggest I go pursue BigLaw work. I'm like, "Thanks so much for your concern about MY life or MY feelings on the whole thing." How about suggesting I apply to the local strip club while we're at it, if my making a ton of money is all you care about?!

Aside from this new development to expand my resume & general career portfolio, there are some rants that need to be made.

First off, I'm disgusted with the amount of musicians on my subway train who lately have some woman parade around with a baby strapped to her chest while carrying a hat or whatever to collect money in. This REALLY pisses me off as the auntie of a toddler whose now pregnant mother would never be doing that even though she probably needs the money much more than some of these folks. If my sister isn't going around in public panhandling with her pregnancy & her child strapped to her + managing in life, I have zero sympathy for anyone else doing it. Have they not heard of WIC?

Chances are, I know someone who's been in a comparable or worse situation & they're not here breaking the law by panhandling to others or trying to whine about their social condition while doing nothing to change it or taking personal accountability.

I don't like to see beggars asking me for money considering I have negative net worth. They don't have non-dischargeable student loans to contend with. Talk to me about needing money when you have student loans.

The moral here is that no matter how bad you think you have it, there's ALWAYS someone who's got it worse than you. We can play "Whose life is worse?" until the end of time & that basic fact will not change.

Second, take a look at this. The comments are mostly "Oh, she looks like a skank & that's unacceptable. She's being marked for like." and all this other crap.

Okay, as someone who actually works in the entertainment industry, knows people in modeling & the like I think I'm a bit more qualified to speak on the issue of entertainment standards than some of these two bit 1950s holdovers who claim these pics are appropriate for porno. I personally had no issue with the first one. It strikes me as something you'd see as an ad for the old 90210 series. I think the second one is more risque & I just don't favor that so much. I wouldn't consider it porn material or appropriate for an escort ad (too tame) but maybe something between mainstream stuff & porn. This coming from the woman married to the man who thinks Maxim is the magazine equivalent of a female tease (all talk of sex & no action).

Now I wouldn't personally do these poses & at 18, I wouldn't have submitted such photos of myself to my school yearbook but that's because I was a more modest person, had a strict mother & I think it would be hard for me to look trashy since I'm more of an artist + have a general demeanor/personality/attributes that counteracts any "whore" image that might result. I also don't think I'd be posting such pictures on LinkedIn unless maybe you're trying to get modeling jobs but this is tame compared to what I've seen. You'd expect ass cheeks or nipples to be showing with all the fuss made over this; I think THAT'S trashy.

This particular conflict should be decided by the students & ONLY the students. Not some old fart administrators stuck in the 1950s or bitter old women who hate this chick for having the looks they never had. Mores have greatly changed in our modern age & I think the school deserves to leave it up to the students when they refuse to spring for senior photographs & expect the students to spend their own money to come up with their own pictures. We had senior photographs taken by the school; none of this "Come up with it yourself" stuff. Hence, this situation never came up.

For those saying "You have to follow the school's dress code" for pictures consider that most yearbooks do have out of school candid shots. I even remember some shots of students at the beach being in our yearbooks (I don't recall exactly what people were wearing but 2 piece suits are generally the norm for women at the beach). No one got molested or had a heart attack. Can we also not just do some cropping? We didn't get full body shots in our senior pictures & we had about 150 people in my graduating class. Just make it a headshot or three quarter.

Let's also talk about the cheerleader uniforms & the like. Some of those outfits are downright scandalous & I even noticed this as a high school student (coincidentally, many of the cheerleaders got away with dress code violations often though some of them were actually nice to me & I had to dress more conservatively then so I didn't go raise Hell about it).

If employers wish to use high school yearbook pictures against folk, maybe they should also refuse to hire anyone who was a high school cheerleader, dancer, majorette, etc. There's a need not to have long attire for it but some of the shortness is for nothing but male titillation, plain and simple. We're not stupid, school admins!!! We know you're dressing kids up like that so you can get attendance at the games. How many ugly cheerleaders & dance folk have YOU seen on the fields?

At my high school talent show senior year, we had a fashion show for part of it and it did involve swimsuits (one piece but still, bathing suits; even our harpy Assistant Principal didn't object to it while intervening on people's raunchier dance acts). I was in the evening gown part. I also had to wear a bathing suit onstage for a play I was in along with my classmate who was in the same scene. I got to wear shorts & a coverup since I was the geeky, pale character & it was part of the performance (that part was very true to life for me at that time) but my friend didn't. Should we have never taken pictures of these shows? Should they have been banned, you Victorian Era cheerleaders??

Does the idea of such a hiring ban sound stupid to you? It should. I've handled HR tasks & it sounds very stupid to me, even defying law firm associate hiring logic.

It's as stupid as banning contraceptives or abortion, thinking it will stop people from having sex. Are you that dumb?! Has society degraded so much in brain power that some kind of mass cleansing is in order? It goes without saying in politics but I wonder about this in terms of the general citizenry in America. Even the more hardcore religious types I know realize you can't force morality onto others & it's a bad thing to have more unwanted kids in the world.

Please, for the love of God will some safes fall from the sky & give idiots like this a good thump on the noggin? A little animated justice would be great, especially for the morons who think they can put toothpaste back into the tube of repression & leave women barefoot and pregnant while they bind their feet and squeeze into their corsets.

Am I Too Poor or Just Too Cheap & Higher Purposes

2011-12-31T16:35:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I'm not sure whether we're too poor or just too cheap to do things many people do. We went to a New Year's Eve Eve party last night for an event held by one of my friends & whose entertainment is top notch. My husband adamantly insisted we go to this even based on his good time at the event they had on the 4th of July.

We get to the event and go into the top floor room. It was very nice: wasn't too crowded, you could hear the band as well as your conversation if you went to the sitting area and you got a nice view of the NYC skyline and the street below.

We, and it seems others, were led to believe that both rooms were accessible all night. We saw some great burlesque performers & heard good music. The emcee said there would be more there but after we get downstairs to see another performance and my husband needs someplace to sit without being commanded to spend money or sitting in a stranger's lap. Not to mention I don't like to be standing around in the middle of a crowd & blocking people from walking around (since I hate that being done to me, especially in the tourist areas).

As we try to go back upstairs, we're told the upstairs is closed. Apparently the venue decided to do this to the party. Downstairs, meanwhile, is super packed. My husband saw a lot of disgruntled people and I heard some complaints myself. Some even ignored the coat check since we saw people leave their coats & bags in the outside hallway, where we stayed and talked while figuring out whether to stay or go. As I try to let my husband make these choices since he's got medical issues with his legs and standing on his feet (he, unlike some people, doesn't like making a big fuss & doesn't exhort people to feel sorry for him or give him special treatment because of it), he says it's up to me. Since I don't like seeing him miserable, what choice do you think I make?

We end up leaving but hang out in this lounge near the coat check section in order to decide where we're going for dinner since we haven't eaten and we're not about to spend a million dollars at the club's restaurant. After some wandering about, the night was saved when we happened upon this Mexican restaurant away from tourist row.

Here's my basic stance on going someplace & if my husband will go with me:

1. The event MUST be a price I/we consider reasonable. Clubs not having a special event had better not be over $5 per person (and I really hate paying to go in the first place as I was the recipient of many free ladies nights back in my college days in the early 00s--I was even told by a guy I knew from karaoke that w/my looks I should NEVER have to pay cover anywhere & I'm inclined to agree; I look EXACTLY the same as I did then, by the way). Unless it's a special event or one of my friends is involved, chances are I will not go if it costs money.

If it's a special event, don't even talk to me about it unless your tickets are about $25 a person or less. You're also more likely to entice me to go if you're friends with me, I've heard great things about your talent or my friends are going. $80, $50 per person?!?!?! Not happening & most likely wouldn't even if I had the $ for it. I should be seeing full nudity or getting my house cleaned for that kind of money.

2. If you want me to dress up, it has to be someplace where everyone else is dressed in a similar way. Since my husband HATES dressing up & most dress up events violate #1, I rarely get to do it unless I want to go to a club alone through a promoter's list. I also consider the weather outside & how my feet are going to feel in shoes when I'm having to walk around my neighborhood & trek on the subway to get to an event (the ones I go to are typically in Manhattan). I also HATE having to lug comfortable shoes around so my feet aren't blisters before I get someplace so I'm wondering how those travel shoe things are working for folks; I'm considering getting some for this very reason.

3. If there's a long line, fuck you!!! My husband has ZERO patience for long lines that never move. I also have limited patience with long lines. Status & exclusivity? Screw that!! Nothing is worth my waiting in line for hours (even free Chick-Fil-A for a year). We have a similar attitude on restaurants. If it's a long wait & you don't take reservations, we'll go elsewhere.

I found this article quite accurate to how we sum it up. Plus, my cooking is much better & I can make my food the way I want it, not how the restaurant thinks I want it. If we did a reservation & we're still waiting for a table 30 minutes later?? You can also go fuck yourself & have guaranteed some negative Yelp reviews against you.

4. My husband is extremely picky about music. If he hates the music, he will leave. I'm less picky about that but if you started blasting country music, I'd be out of there myself.

5. Don't hassle me to buy something the second I walk in the room if I'm present for an event!!! I hate that & it's a surefire way to get me to walk out. There's being a polite server & then there's being an ass. We've walked out when the person was being an ass (if the response to "We're looking" is the server hanging around and hovering over you while you look at the menu when you came to go to karaoke, the server is being an ass).

6. Have some seating that doesn't require a person to buy alcohol to use it. Some people DO have health conditions and would rather not announce them to the world. Plus, if there's no space you don't want to be blocking people from walking like you were a tourist standing in the middle of a NYC sidewalk.

So I'm not sure if it's that I'm too cheap or too poor to do things. I can't really afford to go to the theater or Broadway shows but even if I could, there is very little my husband would go to see. With things I go to in Manhattan usually turning out to stink for one or more of these reasons, I wondered last night about what we can possibly do for events to get out of the house.

We did decide we did not want to live in the suburbs. We're huge on not becoming that married couple that never goes anywhere or does anything; we saw that enough with our own parents. Plus, we don't have kids tying us down.

It seems my next step will be looking at things in Brooklyn or Queens. That means some additions to the requirements:

1. It must be accessible by public transit. We're not going to wait 2 hours for a bus to get someplace. If we wanted that, we could just live in the suburbs without a car and go to the local mall.

2. It must be in a safe neighborhood. This is just basic common sense.

I hardly think any of this is unreasonable considering we've managed to find things to go to and have fun at without this kind of bullshit. We'd just like to expand it some to things we both can do & so we have things to point to when people we know visit, especially folk who live in the suburbs. I don't like encouraging suburbanites by letting them sit in my home & not going to NYC when we're so close to it.

Plus, I like to make sure people are having fun without feeling like they have to make a million dollars a year in order to do so.

As we were discussing and thinking about things yesterday, I had a realization with respect to my business & all. I swore that I was not going to be a poor grown up. It occurred to me that as long as I'm in this current career limbo, I'm simply in a state of transition. It's not like "Your status is set in stone & this is where you will be for the rest of your life." Careers do have limits on income & you know that you're not going to advance anywhere after a while. You're just where you are & that's it. I realized that having a transition period means there's some hope I won't die in the same place I'm at already. Bear in mind, though that I'm not the the type to let life happen to me. Psycho Boy was & it wasn't a pretty picture; you see a lot of resignation with people who let life happen to them instead of making things happen that improve their own lives.

Later on, I read this article posted by a Twitter friend that popped up on my feed & it occurred to me that once again, I have a greater purpose to consider than just my own bullshit. It's not just me or my company (which totally defies this study in the leadership make-up & how we are treated); it's being an example. It's proving that it can be done & you aren't living in some caste system where the situation you're at now is the one you'll die in.

There's plenty of sexism in the legal field as well. I read an article recently that I think a different Twitter follower posted that said private law firms practice sexism against women but also engage in heavy lip service to the contrary. Just one more reason I'm not likely to be working in one.

After reading, it occurs to me that maybe it doesn't matter if I make any money from doing this or not, at least with respect to the issue of if I accomplished anything in life. If there's anything I like doing, it's giving someone else ammo in the fight against their own detractors. It never really occurs to me so much that I'm abnormal or doing something different/unusual. I only see it as pursuing what I wanted to do.

Consider that my mother was the one in charge when I was growing up; she HAD to be considering my father was too busy losing jobs & generally being an alcoholic. This is far beyond the dumb father stereotype you see in mainstream media; you're talking about someone who couldn't even hold down a job & lost a driver's license. Someone who's not fitting society's definition of functional.

On that note, I sure hope the answer to female empowerment & gender equality in these fields isn't living in a household where the mother has to be in charge because the father's too messed up for it.

What the Holy Fuck?!?! Craig's List Ads, Part 2

2011-12-27T14:56:00.000-08:00

It's time. Oh, yes it's time for another installment of this. Seriously, some of the more recent ads I've seen deserve that statement but some classically stupid ones will be mixed in as well.

First off, look at this one:

Looking for a Summer Internship in New York City? (TriBeCa)

Date: 2010-05-26, 4:44PM EDT
Reply to: job-dtdnw-1761062650@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

PLEASE READ EVERY PART OF THIS POSTING, APPLICANTS THAT DO NOT READ AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED

FAST PACED INNOVATIVE YOUNG BEAUTY INDUSTRY COMPANY SEEKING A SUMMER INTERN

THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH AND MEET GREAT PEOPLE.

THE POSITION STARTS JUNE 7TH AND ENDS BEGINNING OF AUGUST (DEPENDING ON WHEN SCHOOL SEMESTER STARTS)

A PERMANENT PAID POSITION COULD BE OFFERED WITH THE COMPANY FOR THE INTERN THAT DOES GREAT WORK! YOU MUST PROVE YOURSELF

DUTIES WILL INCLUDE BUT LIMITED TO:

- Answering phones
- Filing documents
- Office errands
- Helping with photo shoots
- Managing the calendar
- Social Media management (blogs/facebook/twitter)
- Mail/shipments (receiving and sending out)
- General assisting with any tasks given

REQUIRMENTS FOR THE INTERN POSITION:

- Professional manner and dress code
- Great knowledge in beauty/fashion/entertainment and current trends
- Great skills with MS Word, Powerpoint and Word
- Someone that is internet savvy
- Creative writing skills for blog content/ideas
- Detail oriented
- Extremely good with time management
- Ability to work with high profile people in a professional manner
- Great people skills
- Attend fashion/social events with company CEO and assist in whatever way required
- Candidate must be open to travel if asked

PLEASE RESPOND WITH RESUME INSIDE THE BODY OF YOUR EMAIL - DO NOT SEND YOUR RESUME IN ATTACHMENT FORM PLEASE.

INTERVIEWS BEGIN TUESDAY JUNE 1 IN OUR NEW YORK CITY OFFICE, IF YOU ARE LATE TO YOUR INTERVIEW YOU WILL NOT BE HIRED.

LOCATION, COMPANY INFORMATION WILL ONLY BE GIVEN TO CANDIDATES THAT WILL ACTUALLY INTERVIEW.

THE HOURS OF WORK WOULD BE MON- FRI FOR 30 - 40 HOURS A WEEK. TIMES ARE FLEXIBLE AND DEPENDENT ON TASKS GIVEN.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE ANSWERED ABOVE.

ONLY SERIOUS CANDIDATES NEED APPLY
Compensation: Unpaid Internship
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1761062650

Somebody's awfully damn demanding for an unpaid internship, don't you think? Plus, it's illegal to offer internships with full time hours. How would one make a living doing one, huh? Even if it weren't illegal (and you can go to the state or federal EEOC websites & read up on internship rules if you don't believe me), it's also classist. These people deserve what they get since they certainly aren't bright enough to get legal counsel before posting this crap.

Here's another one thinking they're such a saint to offer the "option" of part time, unpaid work.

Fashion Internship -Editorial, PR, Events, marketing (New York)

Date: 2011-11-16, 10:04AM EST
Reply to: gigs-h7ray-2705246885@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

A boutique full service Media, marketing/PR/Event Production fashion company is currently looking to fill the following internship positions: Editorial assistant, Marketing assistant, and Event planning/PR intern to assist with fashion magazine, Fashion week and other major Event Productions up coming. Ideal candidate will be available Mon-Fri; however we will consider part-time availability as well. You will be fully involved in all aspects of our company., but your primary focus will be on the position you are hired for.

This is a challenging and busy internship, with many rewards. You will be part of a fun and creative environment and will learn a lot about fashion, marketing, editorial procedures, and event planning while networking with a lot of professional contacts in the industry. This
internship is Unpaid but a valuable opportunity to work your way to a permanent position.

Skills and Qualities Required:
Energetic and ready for a challenge
Excellent verbal communication (primarily telephone) and written skills
Professional and friendly manner
Determined and motivated
Strong computer skills and internet research ability
Ability to multi-task
Detail oriented
Strong organizational skills
A self-starter takes initiative
Ambitious and intelligent
MUST be proficient in Microsoft Office Suite and/'or MAC
Location: New York
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2705246885

Maybe I should be glad they at least aren't trying to weasel free work from skilled people but sounds an awful lot like an attempt to get unpaid FULL time labor.

And if you think only unnamed companies do this, you would be wrong. Unprofessional? Absolutely in my perspective. Consider this ad:

Casting Internship (Flatiron)

Date: 2011-12-20, 1:05PM EST
Reply to: gigs-k7bvn-2762491911@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

DONNA GROSSMAN CASTING is offering a casting internship, at one of the leading commercial and print offices in New York City.

We are looking for someone who is passionate about the entertainment industry, hard-working and fun!
Duties will include answering phones, setting up auditions, sorting submissions, general office maintenance and working directly with Donna Grossman.

There is a very high level of responsibility, and we treat this internship as a serious, full-time job. Our interns are an integral part of the day to day operations in the office. Hours are 9:00am to 6:00pm. Internship is unpaid, but lunch will be provided. A full-time three month commitment would be ideal, but we are willing to work around the right candidate's schedule.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2762491911

As someone working in this business & having friends who like having a good reputation, this required a response. It wasn't as brutal as some of them can be but it is entirely factual:

Just so you know, it's illegal under state & federal labor laws to have a full time internship. That would be called "slavery" & an attempt to cut out paid professionals by hiring unpaid interns. The state of NY has been cracking down on illegal internships so you may want to rethink posting such an ad on a public website.

Plus, you are making someone PAY to work for you since I see no mention of covering transportation costs or the ability to work remotely. This is a recession & monthly Metrocards are over $100 (which is what you're demanding be paid for a "full time" assignment). Those costs add up and don't magically take of themselves. How do you expect people to pay their rent, utlities, etc.? Do you just want some spoiled trust fund baby who's never worked for anything?

I personally work in this business & did an internship myself with a well known talent agent; however, there are rules & considerations to be made if you expect someone to work for free & have ZERO interest in your buisness. If you were offering PAY or equity for FULL TIME work that was aligned with what I have recently earned in the open marketplace (not necessarily a lawyer rate unless I was asked to use my legal license), I would consider it. I actually have experience in this business, have been told I should consider commercial work b/c of my looks + prefer working with creative types. Plus, I own an entertainment business that you could have gotten potential work from.

However, because you'd rather exploit some newbie instead of paying a professional for his/her talent & skill, I am not interested. Rest assured that I have already formed some very strong impressions from seeing this ad & will make sure my contacts steer clear of you. Thanks so much for tarnishing the reputation of this business for those who ARE professionals and would NEVER demand someone to work 40 hours a week FOR FREE. You get what you pay for.

Ads like this breed hatred and resentment for employers, especially smaller businesses though corporations do a lot of sneaky, shady things as well.

This has made me certain not to hire Donna Grossman Casting since if they can't be bothered to pay people for performing full time work (violating labor laws), imagine how many other laws & rules they violate on a regular basis. Do they place SAG talent & look the other way while clients break SAG rules? How hard are they even working for those clients?

Remember employers, job ads tell the world about you as well & ads that tell me you can't even bother having a lawyer read over them to make sure they're not violating labor laws tell me you're the same people who'd never sign contracts & expect me to "trust you" not to screw me over. Get real! Me reading such an ad is probably going to even trump my best friend's endorsement of your business (and I don't even have a best friend).

Then, let's talk about the blatant sexism in some of these ads. Consider these gems:

HOT, MASCULINE, GOOD LOOKING guy wanted as an Assistant (NYC)

Date: 2011-11-18, 9:39AM EST
Reply to: gigs-wg6ng-2708754013@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am looking for a good looking, hard worker, easy going, open minded, very detail oriented, tall and masculine model looks younger guy to Assist me doing several tasks. MUST send pics and brief work history. This is an immediate opening. No drug addicts or weirdos
Location: NYC
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: 20

PostingID: 2708754013

Yes, it's still sexism even if it's a guy being exploited!!

Attractive female Personal Assistant Needed

Date: 2011-11-18, 10:37AM EST
Reply to: gigs-9qwxs-2708847400@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am looking for a young attractive female to help me with working out, some office work, light cleaning, meeting assistance, etc p/t.

I am a normal, non perverted young professional entrepreneur who would like the company of a sane, normal female who is also pleasant and pretty.

Not looking for sex!

Microsoft office experience would be helpful the rest I can work with you on.

Flexible schedule is desired including nights Saturdays and maybe some Sundays. Bonuses also possible.

$20/hour
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: see above

PostingID: 2708847400

He's "not looking for sex" like the next reality TV whore isn't looking for fame & fortune. Otherwise, this schmuck wouldn't be looking for someone with looks. That ad's also a labor law violation since those tasks have nothing to do with looks. The person's not even being asked to sell things & you can't even post a "models only" ad for sales jobs unless you want to get busted by the Department of Labor.

Oh, and eye candy in the workplace isn't a fundamental right!!

Here's more casting couch garbage. Can't we phase that crap off the globe?

Aspiring Female Model

Date: 2011-12-10, 5:46PM EST
Reply to: gigs-3ez5q-2746683974@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Advertising agent with major cable network willing to exchange casting in prime time television commercials for adult benefits. If interested then please reply with a few photos, phone number in an email labeled "Prime Time."

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: TBD

PostingID: 2746683974

I've already ranted endlessly on this one. I hope this guy's dick falls off from all the STDs.

This one amused me some. I even had to respond to it:

Lazy, out of work Television Writer needs Assistant (NYC/LI)

Date: 2011-12-05, 1:05AM EST
Reply to: gigs-xaauh-2736480643@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Lazy, out of work, television writer needs an assistant. Responsibilities include: organization of research documents, organization of computer files (Mac), drafting correspondence from oral notes I give you (not dictation). I'm looking for someone who's natural writing style can write with economy, is easy to read, breezy and easy. (This is so that the correspondence is in my "voice.") You cover letter to me should reflect this style of writing. It shouldn't begin with "To Whom It May Concern," then you're definitely not the person I'm looking for. Or if you tell me you'll be a great addition to my company, then you're also not right for this job. A resume is appreciated, but what will really tell me that I've found the right person is whether your cover letter has that easy-going style without trying so hard that it shows. The pay is $10 per hour; approximately 12-20 hours per week. Scheduling is flexible. I divide my time between my office in the city and my home office in Nassau County when it's my day to watch the kids. PLEASE KEEP YOUR COVER LETTER to 25 WORDS or LESS because I want to see that you can write with simplicity and economy. THANK YOU.
Location: NYC/LI
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $10/hr

PostingID: 2736480643

My response:

So, you're a "lazy, out of work television writer." Why would one want to assist you? I'm curious about that.

You couldn't afford to hire me since I'm a licensed attorney & made the rate you're offering when I was a college student. My most recent temp job also paid me significantly more than your rate.

I'm also a business owner & started as the CEO's Exec Asst at my company; if you've announced you're lazy & out of work, how would one know the checks you give will be any good? I will give you credit for at least being honest in not having your shit together (unlike so many other Craig's List ad posters); I only wish others used that same courtesy so those seeking day jobs could be spared the BS.

And this, because it deals with indie film & I actually did it at one time, REALLY pissed me off:

Indie Filmmakers' Assistant

Date: 2011-12-25, 9:18PM EST
Reply to: gigs-k2sfx-2768803825@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for a good-looking model or actor to be an assistant at the office 1 or 2 days a week
Please submit headshot with your reply.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2768803825

Here's what I wrote:

Hey, asshole! Thanks for making ALL indie filmmakers look like pornographers. I can tell you don't have an in-house lawyer b/c none of them would EVER allow you to post such an obvious ad that announces employment discrimination & potential sexual harassment.

Haven't you ever heard of a prostitute??? Surely, Long Island has some strip clubs or personals areas where you could find one instead of exploiting some pretty young thing who actually WANTS to work in this industry. I can also tell you aren't legit if you're using the Talent Gigs section of Craig's List as your personal dating website & this guise of a "job". Professionals only want people qualified to do the job, not window dressing or airheads who think they should coast by on looks & develop ZERO aptitude for ANYTHING ELSE.

There ARE female filmmakers out there & women involved in indie film who didn't slut it up to get there (many of whom are personal friends). If you display this blatant sexism in your professional life, I guarantee one of them will kick you in the balls sooner or later when you inevitably offend them or their sensibilities.

Yes, it's true!! Women in indie film don't take shit from sexist scumbags & I could totally see one kicking a guy in the balls for offending her. If one did, she'd end up becoming decoration instead of a real team player. I'd probably do much worse to you if you offend my sensibilities but I'm harder to offend & you'll know when you've done it.

As one of my exes once said, prettier women are more likely to be carrying weapons & knowing how to take care of themselves b/c they've had to deal with more harassment. Sound logic, huh? These morons should probably consider that. I have seen what happens to a guy when a woman hits him in the balls & it's not pretty (no, I didn't do it; I saw someone else do it).

Now, some illustration of why unpaid extra work is a waste of time if you're not a friend of the director or a producer:

Horror Film Casting- (Long Island)

Date: 2011-11-19, 1:43PM EST
Reply to: gigs-jsaew-2710909368@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Serious people who want to act only! Known Stars will be on set and we do not want anyone bothering them with autographs.

Large production company seeking actors and actresses to play lead roles on Monday Nov 21st at 12 noon. This is an incredible role with names attached to the movie. The location is within walking distance front he Wantagh L.I.R.R. We are seeking actors and actresses from 21-40. These roles will be speaking lines.

Be sure to send a HEADSHOT or you will NOT be considered for the role.

Shoot is 2 blocks from the railroad station

Send resume for condiseration!
Kaila martin
Casting Director CSI
Location: Long Island
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2710909368

This was posted in the Bronx section of Craig's List, not Long Island. That meant The Angry Redheaded Lawyer had to respond for the sake of taking someone down a few pegs.

Wow, you're seriously deluded!!!

If you want "Serious people who want to act only" and expect these same people working for NOTHING & in fact LOSING MONEY traveling to LONG ISLAND to not bother your "known stars" for autographs, I suggest you start paying folk. That's what professionals do & it's as clear as crystal that you're a fake.

Plus, any production that can afford a casting director can afford to pay background. At the very least, that production wouldn't be posting an ad in a borough of NYC & expecting professionals to travel ON THEIR DIME to Long Island i.e. the suburbs.

You get what you pay for.

And, nobody cares about "exposure." Ask your friends & people who like you, not strangers reading Craig's List.

EXTRAS, EXTRAS (NYC, LES)

Date: 2011-12-05, 12:05PM EST
Reply to: gigs-3d4fw-2737017774@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

If you want to be a part of an amazing experience and be seen in an international music video, then we want you!
We need men and women, in club attire with hair and makeup already done to come to the set at 9am on Sunday, Dec. 11th and stay as long as you can.
In exchange, you will have global exposure with the release of this music video.
Please contact with picture so we can provide more details and and answer any questions you may have.
Location: NYC, LES
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2737017774

Lastly, in case you thought attorneys, who are supposed to know more about the law & what it means than anyone else never post illegal & downright insulting ads you'll rethink that when you feast your eyes on these next few. Take a look:

Paralegal Intern (Financial District)

Date: 2010-11-24, 4:27PM EST
Reply to: job-jgshj-2078237569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

About EEC
Eltman Eltman & Cooper, is the leading judgment enforcement law firm in the country. EEC has pioneered the location of enforceable assets on dormant judgment portfolios allowing clients to maximize returns on assets once thought of as uncollectible.

National judgment enforcement and creditor rights law firm seeking a paralegal intern.
The position offered is an unpaid internship.
The assumption is that candidates will receive credit from their school for this internship. Even if the candidate is not seeking school credit, this is an opportunity to gain invaluable practical experience.
We will train, but candidates should have good writing and speaking skills and be willing to handle everything from administrative tasks to substantive legal work.
Candidates should be available to begin their internship immediately.

Responsibilities:
As the sole paralegal intern working directly with the firm’s in-house counsel, you will be exposed to a number of key legal documents, issues and initiatives that are aiding the growth of the firm’s business.
You will have the opportunity to work on a variety of matters within the firm, such as:

• Coordinating with other firms and clients for preparation, signing and filing of vital legal documents
• Reviewing, drafting and/or filing legal documents
• Assisting with all administrative duties for in-house counsel

• Qualifications:
• Familiarity with legal documents
• Basic understanding of legal terms
• Ability to work independently and in groups
• Strong organizational skills
• Ability to multi-task
• Superior attention to detail

EEC is an equal opportunity employer.
Interested candidates should send resume with cover letter.

Compensation: Unpaid internship
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2078237569

I've done paralegal work. No one needs an "internship" to do it. They may have paralegal schools & programs but I did those tasks without doing any of that. There's nothing to learn that one would have to "intern" to learn how to do; it's not brain surgery or even law practice. Can we say "attempt to exploit people for free labor???" Look, they even listed their name!

Consider it another business I'll never work with & will make sure to steer my colleagues far away from. They also have some interesting facts about them already if you do a Google search.

This one was posted recently & really made me mad:

Lawyer or Law Student Sought (Gramercy)

Date: 2011-12-26, 3:02PM EST
Reply to: gigs-qxq8z-2769573846@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We're looking for someone to write our trademark application. We have a pro-Bono relationship with a top law firm in Manhattan. Your work will be reviewed by the law firm. Your compensation will be $10/hour and introduction to the law firm attorney who will review the application.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $10/hour plus networking.

PostingID: 2769573846

Here's what I wrote in response:

If you have a pro-bono relationship w/a "top law firm in Manhattan," then why are you exploiting some lawyer or law student? I made more than this an hour when I worked as a referral clerk in a mid-sized firm in Atlanta. The last time I made $10 an hour, I was a college student.

Unless the attorney reviewing the application is the managing partner of this firm & guaranteeing someone a job, this is nothing but exploitation (Did you know many attorneys are total assholes who would sell their own grandmothers for a nickel? They don't believe in the concept of networking or loyalty to others & I've read blogs/comments written by BigLaw folks). I say this as an entertainment law attorney myself (I just defy the attorney stereotypes though I also don't take BS). You're insulting professionals here.

Even document review attorneys earn $25 an hour or so at this point & all they're doing is clicking a screen!

You should probably figure out just what you're offering before posting ads. Oh, and lawyers charge about $100 an hour if not more. People like you make prostitution sound better & better.

This is all true about attorneys as a group, the rates charged & the like. If this is what law students have to look forward to, they probably should engage in prostitution. They could always try go-go dancing at this venue:

Earn 1000's Weekly / Bikini GO-GO Dancers Wanted For NYC Sports Bar (Midtown)

Date: 2011-03-16, 12:14AM EDT
Reply to: taxcutsnow09@aol.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Earn Thousands Per Week as A GOGO Dancer, Bikini only in a NYC Sports Bar located in TIME SQUARE. Be Your own Boss and Set Your Own Hours
Contact us By email and Please send Pics. Exciting Oppurtunity to Work in a Upscale location

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2268011329

I haven't seen more of these in the Legal jobs section lately but I always find it funny & innovative of that proprietor when I do. That's a smart person who keeps up with the news.

Or, you could work for people who can barely spell:

HIREING ATTORNEYS --GREAT OPPORTUNITIES (Midtown)

Date: 2011-12-15, 3:46PM EST
Reply to: job-uqae7-2754978446@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

To be a practicing attorney is every JD or LLM student's dream . . . whether you are a US citizen or a permanent resident. Unfortunately, during the current recession, graduation day has become unemployment day. Without professional guidance and in need of training, law graduates can become underemployed or jobless, even in debt. Without H1B sponsorship or any other legal status, international law school graduates face an even tougher employment market no matter how many state bar admissions you have.
Our firm will start you on the great path to your respectable career.
Please send your cover letter and resume to： P.O BOX 20281, New York, NY 10001-994
Or Email.
Only motivated applicants with a commitment to stay and work in the US long-term are welcome.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2754978446

I decided to pass on sending in anything for this because just as an employer will knock an applicant out for spelling errors in your resume & cover letter, I think applicants should be knocking out employers for errors in their ads. I certainly do it, anyway.

I don't want to work for someone who demands me to be literate when they can't even do it themselves. That's like a parent who makes their kid eat brussel sprouts when they themselves wouldn't even eat them. Screw them! If you're going to impose high standards on others, you'd better be imposing them on yourself first.

As for more client arrogance:

Need an Attorney Writer - REVISED (New York City)

Date: 2011-08-10, 10:08AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-jfjpq-2539432954@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I need a licensed new york lawyer to register a corporation for me and prepare all the paperwork and serve as a registered agent of process. The lawyer must a PO BOX or physical address to receive processes if there are ever any. Newly licensed attorneys and senior lawyers welcome to apply. We are a small start up hence budget our current budget is limited. But there will be prospects of future business. $75 is intended for attorney fees only I will pay all the filling fees to the govt seperately
Location: New York City
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $75 for attorney fees

PostingID: 2539432954

Wow, you're going to pay a whopping $75 for all of this legal paperwork & demand the person to be your registered agent of process. How hard up are you as a start up to do this??? They need to be asking a friend.

Here's what I wrote in response:

Legal Zoom charges more than the $75 you propose to pay to an attorney for that kind of work. In fact, I know attorneys charge on average over $300 for this. $75 is a low hourly rate for even a BRAND NEW attorney (as in just got admitted to the bar yesterday). I've written business letters of 2-3 pages for $250.

Stop insulting attorneys with your pitiful $75 for hours & hours of work! It costs more than that to pay for ONE attorney CLE class (CLE classes are required in the state of NY for an attorney to keep a NY license) & on average, lawyers have to undertake hundreds of THOUSANDS of DOLLARS of NON-DISCHARGEABLE loan debt just to get licened.

You'd be wise to remember the saying "you get what you pay for."

It is NOT the attorney's problem that you're broke!!! We've got our own shit to pay for! Are YOU paying six figure student loan debts, many of which from private loan companies (who offer nothing but "fuck you, pay me" plans if you recall)? Unless or until you're doing that, don't talk to me about your poverty. No attorney wants to hear about that b/c we will top you. We want a fair (as in market) rate. Otherwise, you need to be asking an attorney friend/family member or making some new friends.

Hint: you will not make them by assuming the world owes you legal services & giving zero back.

This stuff is an insult & pisses me off. How likely do you think it is that I'm going to do anything to benefit you when you have insulted me? Hell will freeze over first. Stuff like that also discourages us from doing anyone a favor.

Finally, in this last installment of "What the Hell Was This Person Thinking?" is this ad. Someone apparently doesn't know the difference between a mentor & a teacher:

Mentor "Needed" Lip Balm (Financial District)

Date: 2011-12-26, 7:02PM EST
Reply to: gigs-kp2zq-2769922058@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Starting a Company seeking a mentor. What I am looking for.
Willing to Stay Primarily on My Agenda, Not Her/His Own
Open to Learning From ME, As Well As Teaching ME
Successful in Your Eyes
One Who Can Help Me Define My Dream and a Plan to Turn My Dream into Reality
One Who Believes in My Potential
A Teacher
Deeply Committed to Me
A Model for Me
Honest With Me
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2769922058

Here's my response:

Some free tips for you:

1. Tell people what type of company you're trying to start. Don't you want a mentor that knows something about what you're trying to do??? Starting a law firm isn't the same as a film company and starting a non-profit isn't the same as starting a restaurant. Different rules, different experiences, different obstacles. Talk to someone w/some authority on the matter.

2. Craig's List isn't the forum to find a mentor. You should be trying LinkedIn. Maybe join some groups & talk to people doing what you want to do. Perhaps there's a business association or networking group for what you want to do that could also be helpful.

3. You don't tell a mentor that they have to learn from YOU or that they have to be focused ONLY on YOU. Mentorship is a TWO WAY street!!!!!!!! Plus, who the Hell are YOU that someone w/the expertise you want for some business you've yet to identify should be learning ANYTHING from you? What have YOU done? What struggles have YOU faced? What adversity did you ever overcome? Did you earn your way in life or did Mommy & Daddy hand it to you?

I guarantee if you tell someone that without saying WHY anyone could learn from you, you'll be seen as just another arrogant Millenial & the person will be thinking the same things. People have their own shit to do as well & if you don't want to deal with that, you need to seek an actual teacher or career counselor. See #4.

4. On that note, teachers & advisers are paid MONEY for their expertise. If you want that type of one-sided relationship, you need to be offering some pay. People with skills decide if they want to volunteer their services, not the people who seek those services.

Lastly, Craig's List isn't your personal networking group & no one cares about your personal growth. You want sympathy, pay for it. Later.

I certainly have a negative impression of this person after reading this ad. Wouldn't you?

That concludes this installment. I bet you can still find some of these ads on Craig's List if you want to have some fun yourself laughing at the base stupidity, law violations & warped thinking that exist here. If you get a response, let me know what justifications these pinheads offer up.

More Illustration of My "Typical Lawyer" Hate

2011-12-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

I came across this blog & read this entry. I had to respond. It compelled me. It was screaming "You've got to respond to this attitude that you MUST give to charity, political campaigns & the like as an attorney."

If you've read this blog, you know my basic viewpoints on doing anything: if I don't want to contribute (or it would harm my ability to survive in my home), I'm not doing it!!! You also know my viewpoints on politics & giving money to charity or even helping anyone out in a fundraiser. Essentially, you'd better be doing something for me (i.e. someone who agrees with things I support & isn't worried about what everyone thinks of him/her; getting me or mine a job in the campaign or being a friend is also a factor), involved with an arts, animal rights or other organization that doesn't use 90% of my contribution for things other than the cause you told me about OR selling yummy chocolate, Girl Scout cookies or a punch/good discount card to a local restaurant or business that I love. Otherwise, you've got a better chance getting money from the town Scrooge.

I like to think this blog serves as a warning for the easily offended or status obsessed freaks who might want to know me. If you fit those categories, guess what? I don't WANT to know who you are. I've already concluded that you are at best a sheltered crybaby & at worst an immature asshole. Most people don't have time for either type, me included. I certainly don't want to represent anyone like that as a client. I choose not to have children so I certainly don't want to be responsible for any adult who wishes to behave like one. I would end up smacking the person if not doing worse.

Know how you don't release tigers out in a populated residential area to roam free? Same deal when it comes to enforcers like myself.

As I read this entry I though, "Jesus, haven't you heard of the word 'no?!?'" It's not a hard word to master. If I don't have a use for something or I think you have repugnant views, I'm not supporting you. If you are my friend, you already know the basics on this. If you aren't, I don't care what you think. A little assertiveness never hurt anyone.

The ultimate thing that bothered me though, was the whole status race. I don't know that I've ever directly expressed it here but I REALLY FUCKING HATE the whole status thing. I have personal, firsthand reasons to hate it.

The main reason I despise it is because I grew up a lower middle class kid in a school where all the smart kids were middle class or better. The ones I knew in 7th grade were particularly bad. They were nothing but label seeking little bitches who would base people's worth on what brands they wore. Of course, because my parents didn't have the money to buy fancy mall clothes, I got made fun of. I also had people get critical over what color socks I wore.

One day, this girl who was a bit of a bully made a remark about my socks & I said maybe she ought to be focusing on her own wardrobe instead of mine. This was in 8th grade, after I made new friends who based their friendship on your personality, not your parents' net worth. I got very belligerent over the whole clothing thing & once I showed I wasn't taking shit (plus my friends told one of the bigger bullies they'd kick her ass for bothering me), people backed down. I also got some of these little clique bitches in trouble because the teachers saw them disrupting class by bothering me. Once that happened, I had a much more tolerable school experience.

At first I wanted to get the status symbols to get that respect & acceptance but later learned it didn't matter because everyone deserves basic human dignity. You're not a better person because you have a Gucci item or Juicy Couture or whatever. Trash is still trash, no matter how you dress it (and I'm speaking of people who ACT trashy not those working in the adult industry necessarily).

When I see an attorney expressing the view this person mentions, I form my own very negative impressions. I'm tempted to ask when they're going to grow up since that's a 12 year old's mentality. I also admit freely to being an eccentric & am quite proud of it. I also know those mental midgets are nothing but haters who will never amount to anything because they spend too much time worrying about everyone else instead of focusing on their own wardrobes. I'd bet you money they either have no families or treat them like shit.

Many people I've met who had money didn't waste it on status symbols to look cool. I saw plenty of people in Atlanta who had money & didn't drive luxury cars. They bought for quality & weren't trying to become targets for thieves or angry, displaced occupiers. Plus, I could take down little princess types in a heartbeat with all my real life experiences. Doing it to people this blog author's trying to impress would not only be my pleasure but a public service.

Again, I don't want to know or deal with someone who's got a 12 year old's mentality or is such a PC obsessed crybaby, they should move to their own island or live alone in a mountain cabin in the wilderness so nothing will offend them. Would you?

An Important Life Lesson: Learning How to Fail

2011-12-19T23:14:00.000-08:00

This lesson is perhaps one of the most important of all in my book. I also think too many people don't know how to do it and suffer for it later on.

One big problem in this learning how to fail is the punishment heaped upon you for doing so. Consider getting a failing grade in school: you don't get to take a class just to learn the material. If you fail, parents will punish you, teachers will label you as that slow kid, & you could end up on academic probation or even tossed out of college or grad school. In other words, most people don't have a safe environment in which they can fail without being completely annihilated. If that pressure isn't enough, most people have their own inner voice beating them up for it (smart kids definitely feel this & I speak from personal experience).

When you move further up the totem pole, this pressure to be the best intensifies. If you go to law school, you'll notice a high amount of competition. This continues when you get out into the world as a new grad & as a new lawyer.

"What's bad about never failing?" you may ask. "Doesn't that mean that I'm just a super bad ass who's great at everything?"

Here's the answer: everyone in life is going to fail at something sooner or later. No one is good at everything & sooner or later, you're going to fail at something. If you've failed early in life, you realize that it's not the end of the world if you can't play sports or master Algebra. The world still turns, you can take another path & you can move on. You learn about your strengths and weaknesses.

Plus, it builds character. If you've failed, you are human. You aren't some machine or deity. I think it also makes you more forgiving of others' shortcomings & builds self-awareness.

If you don't fail at anything in life, what happens? You become the kid that commits suicide after getting a B. You're the person whose world shatters over some little inconsequential shortcoming that really means crap when you look at the big picture.

I most definitely have struggled with things & faced failure. For one thing, I'm lousy at sports. Get me in a Phys Ed class & I will humiliate myself. Thank God I had the option of Dance in high school; I loved taking it, though I'd call myself an average dancer. Since we never got to learn any useful life skills in Phys Ed like self-defense or even do something I'm halfway decent at like swimming, I just wasn't interested in being mocked by little bitchy clique girls & jocks.

Smart kids totally & completely feel the pressure not to fail. When I was in high school, I was taking AP Chemistry. This was a class that the teacher even said was the hardest one you could take. I was getting a low grade in it & at the time I was in National Honor Society. Despite the level of difficulty of a class, the group would put you on academic probation if you earned lower than a C. The same thing happened to a friend of mine a couple years before but she was in a different AP class. How about letting me learn the material without that kind of pressure, huh? If I was gifted enough to get in to start with, shouldn't I not have been pressured in that way? AP classes are college level courses & I was still in high school. Geez, it's like going to a restaurant and expecting the server to wipe your mouth for you. Give them a break!

I wasn't even given the option to fail in high school. My whole "smart kid" image was so firmly entrenched that when I was slacking off on an assignment for Latin class, my own classmates were harassing me about it! When I got to college, I decided to deliberately avoid any special academically gifted classes or programs since I felt that incident created way too much pressure on me.

This lack of failure in a safe place keeps people from doing new things & getting out of their comfort zones. I think it's a good thing I had those experiences because it kept me from being suicidal in law school. In fact, I think it's pretty damn good that I never got lower than a C- & did not have the assistance of study aids. I also think not being born to money helps in character building but that's another conversation.

Despite any failures, I've had a lot of success in life & gotten things I wanted. My sister recently told me that I'm the only one in our family that has done something with their life since I got an education & no one else did. Lately, though I've had a fear of being 50 years old & still being in the same boat with respect to my career. I know exactly what I want to do, which I guess is a plus since there are so many people who either don't know or are just settled into something they don't really like or care about.

I told my sister that she's being a mother & a good one at that, which isn't easy to do so she should be proud of that. I'd pick my path over motherhood anytime.

Seems like God & the universe are trying to tell me that it's going to work out but I just need to have faith in the whole thing. How else do you explain my luck with day jobs? Some days, I feel like I've lost my ambition. Then I realize that's only when it comes to anything long term unrelated to my company or the entertainment field. Yeah, I just don't care & in a lot of instances, you can see why. I'm used to having autonomy & being treated like an adult. I'm used to being respected. Why would I be motivated to deal with anyone who's not going to treat me in that way? Would YOU have that motivation? I think my soul would indeed die in that kind of job. I can't approach interviews & the like in the same way as someone who's spent their life working for others, being treated like crap & so on and so forth.

A secret about people working in entertainment: some days, it's very discouraging. There are times when you have no faith at all in things. Some days you want to chuck it all and feel like you're out of your league. You do need a positive outlook to work in this area & most of us ultimately believe in ourselves since that's all we've got. However, that doesn't mean you never feel down. This is where supportive people & one's support network come in.

Perhaps I also feel this way because of two family members being in the hospital under dire straits. It's not anyone I'm super close to: one of these is a relative so remote to me, he may as well be a random subway traveler or a celeb I've got zero connection to. The other is someone who has refused to get help for herself and inflicted excessive pain on loved ones (including children), something I obviously have some very personal feelings & animus about.

I'm not going to either funeral because of travel costs & what would I say?

Really, though I think people should be given some space to fail once in a while. It's too taxing & unfair to turn a mere human into a superman/superwoman. I also think it's just as important as sharing, debate, self-defense training or cooking among other survival skills. Otherwise, it might be you or your loved one jumping off the roof or committing hari-kari after getting a B.

The Office Christmas Party: An Outdated Waste of Money or a Truly Good Time?

2011-12-13T16:11:00.000-08:00

I wonder about this. Read this article today and it did get me to thinking about the first & last time I went to an office Christmas party for a job I worked at.

That was in 2003 when I worked at a mid-sized law firm in Atlanta as an eviction referral paralegal. I've said before it was a good place to work since the higher ups actually cared about employee morale & doing right by those with families (such as offering flexible schedules for employees so they could pick up their kids from school). That party was a LOT of fun for me & a great send off before I moved to CT for law school. I think it was fun for a few reasons:

1. I liked the people in my department & never had issues with them. My problems were with some non-supervisor folk in a different department. My boss & colleagues were great, along with other people I knew in different departments (I owe getting this job to a friend of a friend who worked in a different department from me). I also felt appreciated by them.

2. I got to dress up, which I almost never get to do. While some people were apparently gossiped about for wearing slutty, revealing attire at past parties, I wore what some colleagues dubbed my "Cinderella dress". It's my cool white, puffy evening gown that I found for $20 at a store in my hometown mall (I STILL have it & would wear it if the occasion arose again). It also has these lovely silver sparkly pieces & gathers on one side. The instant I saw it (during the time I was living in NC after graduating from college & didn't have a job), I knew I had to get it.

This dress was actually appropriate for the event since it was black tie (though I had no shortage of evening gowns since I'd gone to many sorority formals in college). These days, I almost never get to go to black tie events since I don't have the $ to pay admission for them. Believe me, if you invite me to one where I don't have to pay, you'll be getting in good with me.

3. I had a date. While I wasn't dating anyone then (I felt it wasn't a good idea to do that when I was moving in a very short time), a guy friend of mine from college volunteered to go with me. I had no romantic feelings for him but he was a shining example of what a great date should be: he danced with me, spoke to the other people at our table from various offices of the firm and even predicted my name would be called in a drawing. He says it at random & sure enough, I was the winner.

4. I won a prize in that drawing. Got a blanket I still have as an emergency blanket, a large bag with wheels (that I've used many times for travel) and a waterproof jacket I kept until the zipper head came off & I couldn't get it back on. Still miss that coat, actually.

5. The prizes in this drawing were also top notch. It wasn't employer branded freebies left over & covered with dust but very nice things like gift certificates to pricier retailers in the city & the like.

However, not everyone works someplace as good as this law firm. Boy, do they not! Some of the horror stories I read astound me.

My husband also gets invited to holidays parties by his union but you can't even bring your spouse. What the hell is that about? If you're so broke you can't afford to allow spouses at the party, maybe you should be rethinking whether to have a holiday party in the first place. At least his official job ones were during the workday so it's not like they scheduled it in the evening & say "Oh, by the way you can't take your spouse."

Do you know what not inviting a spouse says to me? That says "We don't give a shit about you or your family. Fuck them!" Second, it says "You as a spouse aren't valued or welcome here." Yet I bet you assholes would eat my cooking in a heartbeat if you had a potluck. You'd probably be like his former co-workers who kept asking me to make things for their parties.

Yep, I take it VERY personally because not only have you jerks taken away my husband's right to strike, have a horrible vision plan & created rules that keep total incompetents on the payroll come layoff time while my husband is put on the list but you also espouse an exclusionary & elitist viewpoint.

Do you honestly think someone wants to go to an evening party without their spouse if they're happily married? I don't care if you're offering that gold flaked sundae from Serendipity 3 for each person or strippers willing to give free lap dances, most people aren't going to go. My husband certainly wouldn't care about that stuff!

Let's also consider what this article says about conduct: we're supposed to have all the happy fuzzies and never address real issues. In fact, why not just avoid looking at supervisors (or as this article refers, "superiors" which even connotes an "I'm better than you" tone).

So if my company wanted to have a party, here are some considerations I would look at & things to avoid:

1. No alcohol! If people always do stupid stuff that they get made fun of for because they are drunk, then why are you serving it? This is like the airlines flying out of airports where bars are freely available then whining when drunk people want to board the plane.

How about not making the booze available, dumb asses? The law firm I worked at at least gave you 2 drink tickets to have alcohol while avoiding that problem. Maybe that would be an alternative if you have people who insist on alcohol being present.

A dry party or drink tickets. Something other than "Here's the booze. Live it up!"

2. Don't make it mandatory. For one, it seems office parties are designed to be one big Nazi fest. No, not a celebration of Adolf Hitler or racism but rather a guarded prison where we ignore the large, pink elephants in the room, punish individuality & have to watch the boss man grope our wives. And if the wives say anything? Oh, the worker will be punished for it b/c God forbid a woman doesn't consent to be treated like a blow up sex doll.

Second, you're punishing people who aren't social if you make it mandatory. My mom would rather chew off her arm than go to a work function. She HATES seeing these people outside the office & has no desire to deal with them. I should mention that she's not a particularly social person. Shouldn't those people have their rights respected?

Third, not everyone likes their job or co-workers. Maybe people are pissed about friends or productive people being laid off. Maybe you're not offering people advancement opportunities or giving them their due. My husband's sure not getting it from the higher ups & I don't blame him for a second not to want to tattoo the organization's name on his butt or go out of his way for people who don't treat him with respect.

Making the party mandatory is not a reward or a "present" for employees who are being abused or hate socializing. It's a punishment.

If you allegedly are throwing these parties to show appreciation & do something nice for your staff, how does making it mandatory accomplish that aim if one of these situations applies? If you're going to make it mandatory, you'd better be paying staff for that time or otherwise it's the same as making them work off the clock. That, boys and girls, is illegal!

3. Don't invite anyone you don't want to be embarrassed in front of or who will embarrass you. I don't understand why employers want to have a holiday party & invite their clients. Surely disgruntled workers will fill those clients in on the skinny of working there; the clients may even ask for all you know. It's bound to slip out if abuse is taking place.

I think you're better off throwing a party for the clients & a separate one for staff (maybe even at work). Let the clients decide if they want to bring staff members or even let them get a set allotment of invitations or make requests. They don't talk to the "rabble" and they can have someone they actually like dealing with being there.

It may even reward some great worker b/c if (s)he is being requested to be there by a lot of people & the higher-ups don't do it, it might set off something that says "Maybe we should be inviting this person or moving them up if these clients are saying such great things about him/her."

Of course, that presumes the employer has a fully functioning brain & isn't a crackhead. Why an employer would keep around an employee who is sure to embarrass him/her, I have no idea.

I don't care how nice a person the employee is, if they can't do the job get rid of them so one of the millions of talented, well groomed unemployed people can get a shot. Jobs aren't an entitlement or a right; you have to earn them.

4. Give the gift of honesty. One person's comments after the article sum this up nicely:

"What's the point, really? If you can't be yourself, what is the friggin point? Don't talk about vacation, that detracts from the bottom line, plus you might get canned if they know when you might be leaving. Don't talk about this, don't talk about that, be coy, blah, blah blah. You are never safe, so be yourself and live freely. What is this Saudi Arabia?"

I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment even though I worked at some great places. I had the space to be who I am & not get forced into some automaton image of myself. It's why I've decided to stop pursuing legal employment that's not offered to me directly or specifically since associates are required to do this stuff.

A truly great company would be one that says "Be yourself. We don't care what you do here & we won't hold it against you later." A "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" rule, if you will (barring things that would get you arrested like rape, DUI, sexual assault, etc.). Do that & I'll bet you get much more information than you ever would from an employee evaluation sheet.

The design of this is to use information to improve your business & make things better. You have to let go of delusions of grandeur or moral superiority to pull it off but if I saw it happen, that would make a place stand out in my mind. You'd also have to punish gossipers since that violates the "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" rule.

5. Have the party at a neutral location. Rent a hall or a hotel ballroom if it will be outside of work hours. Absolutely no parties at some higher-up's home.

First off, do you Mr./Ms. Higher-Up want to clean vomit, clear trash or let drunks crash at your home? Even if you have staff, that's still costing you money & space.

Second, this screams pretension in the minds of much lower paid staff. You know the average CEO makes something like over 200 times more than the lowest paid worker in most places. Flaunting your money, especially in light of this recession is practically shouting at people to go tell you where to stick it!

Third, if you didn't let anyone else bring a spouse, why should yours get to be there if (s)he does not work at the company or own a piece of it? Inheriting the CEOs share at death doesn't count. Another method of screaming entitlement & sure to cause problems. Why should your kids be there if employees can't bring their kids? Fairness, people. Not to mention they'd probably hate being at an office party or having to play host in their own home for total strangers.

Finally, that's not neutral territory and most people are not magnanimous saints. I could see some scumbag intimdate women into sexual harassment situations by using the specter of continued employment, among many things not to do. Public venues in neutral territory will keep people honest & on their best behavior.

6. Welcome spouses & significant others. If you're going to have dancing, why in the Hell would you institute a "no dates" rule? Are you trying to play the office pimp? Do you want to create problems with workplace romances? As I understand it, most places don't want you finding dates in the workplace or getting involved with people you have to work with everyday. Why would you counteract this by not letting anyone bring their spouse or significant other to the Christmas party?

That whole policy with my husband's union has been a serious sticking point to me & it totally colors my estimation/judgment of them. You'd better believe your employees' spouses will feel the same way & will likely be happy if your headquarters perish in a blazing inferno. Consider if you'd like to have more enemies & detractors.

If you must have a party, do it at the office during the workday (because everyone likes paid goof off time on occasion) or use that money for bonuses, dues refunds, or whatever your organization does that could truly give a gift to the members.

7. Include people who celebrate other holidays/events. That should go without saying. I've been saying "Christmas" but that's largely because of how the parties are typically referred to in the US & especially in the South or anyplace where the primary religion is Christianity. I think other people's traditions, foods, etc. ought to be included to represent them as well & make them feel welcome. Plus, you give the people who celebrate something different an opportunity to educate & answer questions. One great thing about living in NYC is the different cultures and traditions you find out about. I've certainly learned more about different events & traditions living in NYC and even the Northeast than I knew about in NC.

Let's also respect their rights not to pretend to celebrate something they don't believe in or support. I'd love to see that extended to atheists & others in "unpopular" religions as well.

Parties are supposed to be "fun" not witch hunts, contrived niceties or Nazi fests. If you've got the money to throw a witch hunt/Nazi fest, maybe you should be sending that money to the federal government or even the local government so they can use it to balance the budget.

Job Hunting: Must You be a Crackhead in Order to get Hire/Fire Authority in Corporate America?

2011-12-12T13:36:00.000-08:00

I think it's a requirement, personally. It also seems all legal employers are required to be addicted to something before getting that type of authority.

Why do I say this? Oh, let me count the ways:

1. The job hunt seems to be the only time when basic courtesy is not only allowed to be ignored but downright encouraged. I've seen this sentiment expressed a hundred times on this one HR blog I read on occasion.

As a business owner having done interviews, I made damn sure to follow up with people seeking opportunities with us. I didn't pull dick moves & lie to people like the SOBs I've had to deal with (some of which you can read about in this blog).

After my latest experience in that whole "waiting for a job" (that's not even paying a basic salary, by the way) garbage, I've given up on looking for any sort of day job.

For one thing, there's no opportunity for someone with my usual background and anyone claiming that they seek someone different or unique is a liar. When I put my hat in the ring, it never pans out.

Second, I'm just not motivated to do it. If someone wants me to do something, they'll have to find me & make an offer. Barring that, I don't care anymore. I want to work in my own business badly enough to die before taking on some job I'd hate that would kill my spirit.

Oh, and that same social media you use to monitor employees? It works both ways, assholes!!! People will talk about your shitty behavior & future applicants will not want to work for you. Think for a second: would YOU want to work at a company that has a history of lying to applicants, paying nothing while expecting one person to work for 5 or breaking the law? Would YOU want to work someplace where sexual harassment was encouraged instead of punished? Many people don't want to work at these places.

Frankly, lying pisses me off & I don't care about maintaining bridges with liars. Maybe these jerks might should consider that someday THEY may need jobs & guess who their interviewer is...someone like me that they've lied to. You think I'm going to give such a person a job? You must be on crack.

2. Career advice articles continue to tout that job applicants should "suck it up" and not complain when a potential employer interviews them & then refuses to follow up. Consider that they actually suggest you continue an interview after being asked illegal questions.

Let me tell you, law firms are notorious for doing this shady crap if you believe sites like Ms. JD and other legal blogs where people talk about sexism toward women (not to mention other asinine remarks that people told me about getting in interviews). I know precisely what I'd do if I were asked an illegal question. I'd immediately say "I don't think we have anything else to discuss. Good day," and walk out the door/hang up the phone. Try & stop me and I'll freely explain your blatant disregard for the law + what it says to me about your business (i.e. that you're perfectly okay with sexual harassment, defrauding clients, making people work off the clock & God knows what else).

If I wanted to be demeaned, I would go work as a stripper or as a prostitute. Craig's List keeps allowing those ads for escort agencies so certainly I can find places to be demeaned without having to work for some hypocrite wearing a business suit.

Let's not forget that how an employer treats you when you're an applicant & not even working there is the best you're going to get. If they're treating you like crap at the stage when they're supposed to be impressing you (or "wooing" if you want to go BigLaw fancy), how will they treat you when you're a rank & file employee? This is a question I asked myself in dealing with schools & I think it's very relevant to potential employers.

And if you're treating a potential client that way, it's inexcusable to keep giving business to you since you're the worst business person ever.

3. This article that outright says promotions are based on favoritism.

So, if this is how promotions happen, then why the hell would I bother with working for anyone other than myself, my best friend or anyone who truly respects me???

In sum, it seems no company not owned by you, your friends or anyone with a semblance of competence wants anyone with a brain. They only want "yes" people & slaves/robots. Case in point and I'm shocked "absolute fealty to the company above everything & everyone else" isn't listed as a trait that's irresistible to employers.

Newsflash: you can't expect absolute, unconditional loyalty from someone who isn't a partner or a high ranking person in your business. Underpay them and/or make the workplace atmosphere suck & you're an absolute joke if you think anyone's going to have a speck of loyalty to you. I don't care about industry custom, this is a just a fact of life.

One final thought: if you're too much of a pussy to tell people the hard truth (you're fired, we're not going to give you a 2nd/3rd round interview, we gave someone else the job [probably the owner's kid or some other nepotistic relationship]), then you should not be in management. Being a pussy is a good way to get shot up when someone finally snaps & starts a killing spree. Bad karma begets bad karma. I personally don't want pussies in my ranks; perhaps they remind me of the 7th grade clique bitches I grew up around who'd be nice to your face & cut you down behind your back. I say tell me the damn truth & let ME handle it.

Extra Gig #6: An Enforcer NEVER Accepts Abuse. Don't Forget That.

2011-12-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

As you've probably read, most of my extra experiences have gone fairly well. This is an exception. You'll soon learn why.

Normally, I've done my extra gigs through Central Casting. No matter what you may think of Central Casting (and I've heard actors say various things about them), they deserve credit for a few things:

1. Central Casting has NEVER lied or omitted material information about a shoot they scheduled me for or that I submitted for. When they say "it's going to be cold" or "it's an overnight shoot," that's what you get. They even tell you if food is going to be in limited supply.
2. Central Casting does PAID extra work. I'm not sure if they handle no pay extra gigs but if they do, I've never submitted for them or been asked to do one.
3. Central Casting has NEVER given me an issue on getting paid or cashing their checks. As long as you've filled out your paperwork correctly, you'll get your check and you don't have to worry about it bouncing.

Overall, Central Casting is a professional entity. I feel that I have a professional working relationship with them so I would never do what I did on Friday night on one of their sets.

The story begins with me going to a talk with casting director Amy Gossels at 36th Street Studios this past Thursday. One of my friends has given talks there and aside from some recent political rants veering a bit toward the crazy fundie cousin zone, he's generally a solid person who knows a thing or two. I expected to see that at this talk, which I did. I also ended up missing a good chunk of a City Bar event I'd signed up for ahead of time to go to this thing.

During this talk, she mentioned a non-union unpaid extra gig her office was staffing for that would be the next day. She said it was going to last until about midnight & you'd get IMDB credit. I already have IMDB credit for other things but not acting work (yet). She also mentioned it in the spirit of "going out & doing things in order to find new opportunities." Solid, sound words that I certainly don't disagree with.

Despite having a doctor's appointment earlier in the day, I had nothing to do that evening so I figured "why not?"

The next day, I get a call from her assistant about the event & got an e-mail to confirm (and by the way, I'll show you the text of the e-mail with personal details omitted if you doubt this story). Her assistant as well as this e-mail reiterates that the extras will be needed "approximately 6-7 hours" from the "5:00 sharp" call time. 5:00 pm + 7 hours = 12 am, right???

At no time was this stated any differently so I had no suspicion of what was going to happen. Plus, I'd not gotten to do extra work where I had to wear upscale club attire (I was going in as a VIP). I have so many outfits I never get to wear; extra work is one good way to get to wear that stuff if you have it.

I show up to the shoot in Long Island City, an area I'm not so familiar with & hiked to the holding area wearing my most comfortable dressier shoes (which still hurt if you walk for great distances in them). I sign a release giving consent to use my image.

After some time, we are taken to the official holding area at a nearby hotel. Those plentiful "meals/snacks & beverages" were nonexistent. I don't consider having to pay for my own food to be a benefit to me on one of these assignments; in fact, I consider it a form of servitude since if you tell me in advance about lack of food, I'll bring my own so I'm not having to waste my limited money.

The wardrobe person liked my outfit, which seems to happen often on these shoots & I had to change my shoes into my strappies (which I'd brought since they look more "clubby"). We go in and get to dance & all like we're in a real club. I had no problem with shooting & it seems I was put in areas near where the speaking actors were (as I'm a natural redhead & am usually the only one around who remotely looks like me, this tends to happen often--I see no problem with it since it just means I'm earning that non-union pay).

As is customary, there was more of the actors talking when being told to be quiet. I didn't really speak to anyone since, first off, heard the name of someone I didn't want to deal with arriving on the set. This was yet another actor from that whole TV network fiasco who I remember as annoying the hell out of us because you could explain something to him a hundred times & he'd still ask you the very same question you just answered a minute ago. I tried to make sure that guy didn't see me; he also wasn't someone I contacted personally about the whole thing or said a word to later on. Second, I would hate someone doing that on one of our film sets. I would want to kill him/her. Little thing called courtesy & respect for other people's sets.

When you're just listening and no one knows who you are or just what you do (as there really wasn't time to talk & I'm selective in who I deal with anyway), you hear some interesting things. First off, a couple comes up near where I'm at and starts chatting up the guys near me. It seems the man played some non-speaking best friend role on Gossip Girl and they were inquiring about getting credit on IMDB; they went so far as to ask the 1st Assistant Director about it & learned that those who were getting it knew about it. The guy decides to leave since he's convinced he's not getting it, which I found unprofessional. I thought "I'll make sure to look this guy up & make sure we don't work with him." His girlfriend, to avoid drama with him, also decides to leave a short time later. I find leaving a set in the middle like that to be super tacky since you're gone in the middle of filming & that can be very bad for the filmmakers.

While I'm thinking this, I hear that we're going to break for lunch at midnight & there's more work to do.

When I'd arrived, we'd been told we'd be getting food after working. I thought "Okay, so you're giving us that meal & then we're leaving, huh?" Again, this is only my 6th gig & most of mine were for established TV shows where starving was rarely (if ever) an issue.

As I was waiting in the long line for lunch (consisting of sub sandwiches where I only saw mayo, not mustard), I decided to find out about this time inconsistency.

I overhear some actors say that they were told the extras were working until 3 a.m. (constituting 10 hours of UNPAID work).

Uh, hell no!!! I decided it was time for me to leave so I took my gear, changed into something warmer & got out of there.

You may think this sounds like I'm being a hypocrite or a liar to have done this but I disagree. Here's why:

1. I was lied to about a material fact. Leaving at 3 a.m. is very different from leaving at 12 a.m. Working 7 hours is different from working 10 hours.

For one thing, I'd have a very hard time trying to get home on public transit at 3 a.m. vs. 12 a.m.

Second, working until 3 a.m. is practically an overnight shoot. One needs to be apprised of & prepared for that situation. Guess what? People have LIVES. They have FAMILIES. I personally have a SPOUSE & better things to do with my time.

Third, that casting office had more than enough time to tell people about it. They could have called me or sent an e-mail telling me of such a change & ASKING me if I could do it or not. Had I been asked, I'd have said "no" and they could have found someone else.

Instead, they made themselves look bad if people walked out.

2. I'm not some little nobody actor trying to make it here. Regardless of what I say to anyone, I am STILL an entertainment attorney & still have my own damn film company. That mindset & what I see doesn't get shut off because I'm doing something else! Everyone I've encountered in this business who knows what I do is well aware of that fact; I would also think they'd know better than to piss off someone who can affect their career in some measure.

Oh, and your conduct toward me makes me question how you treat your clients. How honest are you with them? How good is your word?

3. They don't call me the enforcer because you can get away with sexually harassing me or put me into involuntary servitude. I'm called that because I don't take shit & will knock your block off for even trying it.

I felt it was not just my duty but a responsibility to that enforcer cred that dictated my getting the hell out of there. I wasn't going to cater to that BS or allow anyone to think I'd do it.

4. It's all about respect. If you aren't professional with me (that is, telling me pertinent details, proving me with notice of changes, etc.), don't expect me to be professional with you.

When you're not even PAYING someone for their time, you'd better be giving heavy respect to everyone. I say this from real life experience. If you take advantage or act entitled to something, people will abandon ship faster than you can take a good, deep breath. 10 hours of unpaid work from background actors is the height of entitlement, especially after your representative told the same people they'd be there for 7. Oh, and when you're not paying transportation costs, you're making the actors PAY to work for you.

So when I'm paying $4.50 to be on a set for 7 hours and I find you've lied to me? Shove it up your butt!

That respect rule is about triple for attorneys. I don't know who this Amy Gossels thinks she is but she'll learn fast that you don't piss off someone who's got a lot of friends in indie film & will be telling all of them not to waste their time hiring her for a project. Clearly, her office isn't professional when it comes to background actors so do you want YOUR production to be associated with furthering negative perceptions of non-union work? Believe me, I'll be looking for her name & making sure to steer clear of any project she's associated with since this experiences leads me to conclude she's shady.

Remember, in this business you're known by the company you keep. My company doesn't play that shadiness.

5. Finally, this was an unprofessional casting office. I'd never walk if it was a professional outfit like Central Casting where all material details were given to me in advance (long before I walk onto the set) & I'd been able to make an informed decision on being able to commit. Plus, I'd have been paid for it with Central Casting.

A professional employer wouldn't slap 3 extra hours on your shift without telling you ahead of time or at the very least ASKING if you could do it. Nor would you be expected to take that extra time unpaid. If I encountered that in the workplace & it had nothing to do with a time sensitive matter that I had to do ASAP (like a last minute issue in a court case or getting papers signed before the signer leaves for months), I would tell that boss where to stick it & walk off.

I don't blame the film production for this since I'm sure they knew their schedule & they aren't the ones who lied to me. None of them were unprofessional to me & I didn't see any rude or nasty behavior from their folk. I felt slightly bad for leaving but the majority of me feels that if you can afford casting people, you can afford to at least cover the extras' transit costs if not pay SOMETHING. You get what you pay for & if you want 10 hours of work from people, you'd better start paying or you'll get walk outs. I believe this same production is using Craig's List to seek out extras so that tells me volumes.

At no time in our projects did we ever expect extras to work unpaid for 10 hours. We also never had a casting person so you can spare me any poverty arguments. They also got my release & I don't care if they use my image.

Besides, my gripe isn't really with them. It's with Amy Gossels Casting. So that makes me heavily rethink going to hear anyone at 36th Street Studios.

Upsides to doing this were that I shaved & removed hair, got to wear a skirt I've never really worn & learned a little more of Long Island City.

Some take home lessons, both for me & perhaps for those of you in the industry:

1. I will never, under any circumstances, do unpaid work or pay to work for anyone unless it's for a close friend or someone who is highly vouched for by my friends. This experience illustrates precisely why you should never pay to work for anyone. Self-respect & personal dignity are far more important than anything else in my opinion.

I also resent doing it when the cost is greatly outweighing the reward. Want me to be passionate about your work? Make me feel like you value me! Respect my time! Respect my expertise! Take what you can get. If it's not that person's project & you're not paying them, don't expect them to care like you do.

You want things like priority on your work or extra time? Pay up or shut up. That's what you get from people whose altruism has long been spent elsewhere. Lawyers in particular aren't that altruistic; see how many provide free legal work (especially entertainment law). Now see how many with experience will do it for free.

2. If you choose to do unpaid work for someone, you need to be strategic about it. What are you getting from it? Will you get viable networking from it? A good credit? I think extra work is a waste time for networking considering the hierarchy involved & the perception by many that background actors are lower than cockroaches. Unless these name actors are personally talking to extras or hanging out in the same holding area as background, I don't give a shit whose there.

I'm not going to interrupt someone's work & I'm not going to approach people since I have issues with rejection; I also don't want to be mistaken for some sex starved groupie. Plus, I'm not very forgiving & certainly won't forgive those who don't even apologize for rudeness toward me.

Actors are also some of the last people I need to network with. I know plenty of them & know non-actors who can make recommendations or get me some.

If you're a newbie, just register with Central Casting. At least then you'll get paid for doing extra work.

3. You do non-union work with unreliable sources at your own risk. If you work with friends or friends of friends, there's less chance of BS since the social cost of doing it is very high. Most people don't like pissing off their friends (whether it's you or the friend that recommended the project). If you work with a professional outfit, you'll get professionalism so if you don't give that back, it's your fault.

4. No one working with my company is ever going to have to put up with that type of lie or omission from me. I'm not going to stand for it & I expect managers or anyone else to tell me or one of my colleagues if there's ANY shadiness going on on set or elsewhere. It's my cred as an attorney & professional at stake if folks are breaching contracts.

I also refuse to have my company be known as that trash hole that abuses actors or cheats, lies, etc. to anybody, not just the investors or name actors. Sitting back & letting someone else do it is also unacceptable to me & while I'm around, it's not happening.

You can't be a legitimate player in this business if you do that stuff & if you are doing it, you're eventually going to be found out or run out of town.

5. You never know who's working as an extra on a project. What if you've just lied to some name actor's relative? What if you're lying to a business owner who could have given you work? What if you're lying to some potential investor or their best friend?

Everyone should be treated with basic respect & dignity. If you can't do that, then you don't need to be in the entertainment industry. You should probably be a bill collector instead. Maybe even some lackey to a financial CEO on Wall Street. Then, you can be a jerk to the general populace & not get fired for it. If I'm wrong, let me know but that how those jobs look to me.

This is probably my last extra gig since I feel I've already learned all I need to from doing it. I can't see any new experience compelling me to do it again & I stand by what I did. I'd rather keep my self-respect & dignity than allow anyone to treat me like a chump. I have to face myself in the mirror, you know.

Why You're Never Going to See Pictures of Me on LinkedIn...& No, It's Not Because I'm Ugly

2011-11-30T13:28:00.000-08:00

As you may know, it always disgusts me to see job ads posted on Craig's List where applicants are demanded to send in pictures of themselves. First off, if it's not an acting/modeling job or something where your looks are a part of it then you're announcing your intent to discriminate in ways that are against federal & state labor law. Second, what about actual SKILLS? Do you want some pretty little airhead or someone who's got some common sense? Since when did banks or law firms become fashion shows? I could point out plenty of people working in non-entertainment jobs who shouldn't be there if we're going to base employment on physical attractiveness. Anyone over a certain age would be out the door unless they'd had plastic surgery or a workout routine like that of the average celebrity. Third, whose standard are you using if you're basing job placement on looks? In entertainment, the answer is easy enough: the designer, production company, or whoever is producing the project.

The real world doesn't have producers & CEOs still have to obey labor laws.

Lastly, in the entertainment world there's artistic merit to hiring based on looks. What merit is there for doing it in a personal assistant job or a law firm associate or even a paralegal?

I read this article yesterday & it made me incensed.

Let me tell you that it's not just ugly people, minorities or old timers who don't want to display their pictures in job applications. No one would call me ugly (I'm industry pretty, remember?) & I won't do it. Here's why:

1. Unless it's a job where my looks actually matter, then WHY do you care? If they don't affect my abilities to perform the job at hand, it's not relevant. If it's icing on the cake, just think of it as some bonus in hiring me & not someone else. Just because someone is as pretty as me doesn't mean they can work as well as I can.

2. I have gotten through this life & earned opportunities without having to resort to my looks. I didn't use it to get through school or get my higher level entertainment positions. Again, they're a bonus to work with me specifically vs. "you must be a goddess to work here." I'd like to think I got my opportunities & grades because of my brain, not because anyone secretly lusted after me.

3. It's unprofessional. To me, using a picture is mixing business with pleasure & I'm happily married. Me using a picture for a non-looks based job is tantamount to me saying I'm sexually available. If I'm going to prostitute myself, I may as well just be a real prostitute & work on my own so I get to keep more of the money.

4. It perpetuates sexism in the workplace. One of my Twitter followers retweeted this story about a lawyer who was hiring a secretary to be a prostitute willing to engage in threesomes with his law firm partner.

Attorneys like this should be disbarred, no questions asked. Can we say "sexual predator?" If this guy is so hard up for sex, he should just hire a prostitute. Granted, this means legalizing prostitution (which I have no issue with as long as it's regulated, children aren't involved & we're talking about 100% consenting adults). Perhaps he ought to try dating, getting a mistress or doing something else that doesn't involve sexual harassment of some poor woman who's just trying to earn an honest living.

Saw this shit firsthand, as you may recall so I take serious offense to this kind of thing. Not to mention that whole higher standard of conduct for attorneys? If we toss out domestic abusers, guys like this should definitely have to go. It seems to me he's broken the law.

Another way it perpetuates sexism? If there are other females in the office, this guy has just told them (in so many words) that if they want a chance for advancement or to not get lost in the next round of layoffs, they're going to have to put out. Isn't the job market shitty enough for women (lower wages, history of discrimination & harassment) without allowing assholes like this to use their power position to rape them? If there are strip clubs that don't make their dancers have sex with people to keep working, why should anyone get to demand that of women not working in the adult industry (I don't know enough about the employment experience at strip clubs to determine whether anyone has to do that & we can save the ethics of requiring dancers to do it for another day)?

5. If you're that curious, you can find out for yourself what I look like. There's no duty on me to make it easier for anyone to find out what I look like.

6. I'm extremely wary of strangers so if you approach me in real life & I don't know you, I might hurt you thinking you're out to harm, harass or otherwise piss me off in some way. I have had stalkers before & that was long before working in this business. One can never be too careful.

I don't understand this trend of telling people to put pictures of themselves on social media profiles viewed by employers or adding these to resumes. Have we forgotten about racial discrimination? Age discrimination? Gender discrimination? Religious discrimination (you may be wearing religious attire in your picture)? As a potential employer, I don't want to know this stuff or open myself or my company up to being accused of it.

It would serve these jerks right to be sued for employment discrimination & have to pay a fortune to a person of color, old timer or some other discriminated person. That would teach a lesson & send a clear message to other companies. This Eve Tahmincioglu needs to remove her head from her butt & see the real world for what it is. Employers aren't your friends & certainly aren't above prejudice or bias. Let's save it for in-person meetings.

I don't mind posting a picture of some cartoon character that looks like me or a picture I took or something close to my heart since it does represent me in a sense. Real pics of me, though? Not on your life! You want one? Take my picture if you interview me.

However, realize that this is what casting companies do when trying to place actors (chiefly, extras) for work. If you're not a casting company, then you need to rethink asking applicants for pictures.

The Great Decision on Laser Eye Surgery is Now Settled

2011-11-28T00:44:00.000-08:00

Despite a lifelong love of carrots, I still managed to inherit the cruddy eyesight from my father's side of the family. Granted I shouldn't complain too much about inheriting things from that side considering my grandmother was allegedly Miss Atlanta GA back in the day (though I can't prove it since I don't know her maiden name or her first name; you might be able to believe it based on my looks or those of my aunt's when she was younger--I apparently look similar to her as a young woman).

I also got the better bra size (in fact, I'm the Dolly Parton of my immediate family even though I'm not a size that caused backaches or childhood awkwardness). And yes, despite not being flat chested or fat as a young woman, I still couldn't buy a date with any guy I had a crush on. I'm pretty sure I could have shown up naked & still gotten laughed at.

One fact about eyesight that you non-intellectual types will be happy to hear: if you have to do a lot of reading for school, your vision degrades. I was a smart kid when I was younger so my vision was probably made worse by my having to study. I knew someone in college who once told us that her vision improved after she graduated and didn't have to study all the time.

Now you may remember reading that I didn't get a driver's license until I was 20. One of the reasons for this was the fact that I was being required to get glasses for driving. I fucking HATE how I look in glasses. Honestly, I feel I can't pull that look off & think I look like my father in drag if I wear them. To this day, you'll almost never see me wearing them in public (sunglasses don't count since they hide the eyes).

My husband says I look good in them but he looks at me with love in his eyes so I feel he's biased (yes, I know I'm lucky to have a man who does look at me in that way instead of seeing me as a crazy, pale psycho covered in freckles). I've yet to get an opinion from someone who works in the entertainment industry & has to evaluate people based on their looks.

Nor have I gotten an opinion from a law school friend who still seems to have eyes for me despite the fact that he doesn't stand a chance against my hubby. He's been rather blunt on women's looks (I've heard him do it) so if he told me I looked good, I'd be forced to take his word for it. You may wonder why this guy is still a friend. It's mostly because he reminds me a lot of my single self & because I don't feel he's using me for anything. He was actually nice to me in law school & didn't seem to have an issue with me not being from some millionaire family. Plus he wasn't a grind & finding people in law school who aren't obsessed with the whole rat race is like trying to find a pearl in a bed of oysters.

In college, I started wearing contacts. My vision had been getting progressively worse until perhaps in more recent years when I got out of law school & didn't have to do so much studying. Until my eye doctor told me I had to take it easy wearing contacts, I would never the glasses I got under my husband's "eh" vision plan (I didn't even have glasses that were the prescription I needed when I was in college). You can only get a check-up every 2 years & they don't cover contacts or the contact lens exam at the eye doctor's office. I'm used to getting yearly check-ups and coverage for contacts. Plus, because I don't like how I look in glasses I don't want to spend a bunch of money on them.

Maybe if I saw leopard print frames or something, I'd reconsider but having me wear them full time would be an impossible sale. I feel I'd also be living up to some nerd stereotype.

I also hate that my own glasses are leaving a nasty imprint on the side of my nose where they sit on your face. Not like I don't have enough skin issues, right?

Amidst this background, I definitely considered laser eye surgery. I'd heard a lot about LASIK and thought "Hmmm, that might be a good idea. I wouldn't have to keep paying for contacts or wear glasses." However, didn't really know anyone who'd had it and still had success from it years later. I heard about it not being very effective, dangerous side effects from it & the like.

Recently, I saw online deals to get a dramatic discount on LASIK. I saw one from a second provider today (one who I didn't learn had been sued for medical malpractice) & thought long and hard about it. Seeing this site today changed my mind. Seeing that list of reasons not to get it clinched my choice for good.

What good does it do me to get eye surgery when my vision is just going to go to pot in 10 years or so anyway? And if I STILL have to wear glasses afterwards, there's zero point to it. Seems like there's too much risk here & it hasn't been perfected.

While I'm still going to complain about paying for contacts (part of the reason I got a tubal was to avoid constantly paying for birth control pills or dealing with riskier methods), I guess I'll have to deal with it until I get decent vision coverage again. I can get old with grace but I'd rather do it when I actually look old instead of when people are mistaking me for a law student, a college student or even a high school kid. When I was at Monday Night Law last week, multiple people thought I was a student. I've been licensed in NY for 4 years now. It's not enough that I'm 10 years old in law land. Do I have to be 5 now?!

I kind of like that this is a decision I can put to rest. For the record, glasses don't make me look older if you think this vanity is connected to an obsession with looking young. I actually wanted to be older when I was little & if you card me for something 18 & up (absent a policy where everyone's getting carded), I get offended. It's more like "I look as I do, I can't change it & society idealizes it so I may as well embrace it."

Now for some sleep to prepare for that job interview tomorrow. Seems that in the grand tradition of jobs that fell through, the one I got earlier this month is going the same route. What else is it when you do what you're supposed to, no one follows up with you & no one is reachable by phone or e-mail? It's the stuff that makes for great stories & total life frustration.

Getting To Know the iPhone 4, Too Much Politics and More

2011-11-26T12:35:00.001-08:00

It's no secret that I have a very cynical view of politics & politicians. Any smart political candidate would want to have me around since I know how one becomes cynical & how to get people to give a crap about some issue. I like to think of myself as the crash that will lull you out of your complacent sleep. I sort of view it as my goal in life to shake things up, not be a "yes" woman & tell unpleasant truths to people who never hear them but actually should + would benefit from hearing them.

I have a friend (I won't say who) who lately, has been posting political diatribes. Now you'd think this person would just create a rant blog like yours truly. If you come here, you know you're going to get rants. Since I agree with people's rights to have their own opinions & have plenty of people in my life who don't follow lockstep behind every cause I support or reject, I didn't de-friend this person like some other people apparently did because of it.

However, after seeing more of it today, I'm wondering whether some conservative leaning political pundit has hacked that social media account. It's been EVERY SINGLE status update. That gets old for me.

A) If you want to rant about politics, create a political rant blog. That way, people know what to expect & what they're getting. People friending you on a social media network aren't necessarily expecting that. While I take great care in who I friend on certain sites, I don't post about the same thing ad nauseaum. I try not to overwhelm folks with Occupy Wall Street stuff or anything else (though I pass on important links).

B) I do believe it takes all types in the world but I'd rather debate folk in person. That way, you can catch tone, subtleties & things you miss in the written word. It's too easy to think you're being patronized, insulted, etc. when the other person didn't actually mean it that way.

C) I wonder if this person has considered backlash to career. The person works in the entertainment business & has a similar path to mine (though I've been an attorney longer & this person has done more than me). However, this individual doesn't strike me as someone who is so hard core set on their views that they are willing to risk alienating people. This is not someone who did humorous rants or came up with hyperbolic suggestions on how to reform things (in other words, if you were the average person who saw these, I'm not sure you'd find humor there). I as a colleague would certainly be influenced as to who I'd refer or not refer. I'd certainly not refer anyone who loudly favors the ethic of the Occupy protests. If you think I'm being a hypocrite, I disagree.

You might disagree with me but at least I try to entertain & not speak with judgment. This person, not so much with these updates. You felt like you were dealing with that fundie cousin at Thanksgiving or something.

As for my Thanksgiving, it was actually decent. Went to the in-laws again but next year, we have to go to NC. For one thing, my husband's finally got a work schedule where he can get the time off (in over 5 years of marriage, we've never spent a holiday at my parents' home as a married couple--yeah, I'm still pissed about that). Second, my sister recently learned that she was pregnant. If things go well, we'll have another niece or nephew to corrupt & spoil (by corrupt, I mean teaching that kid to think for himself/herself, believe in doing anything (s)he puts his/her mind to and that if I could do what I'm doing, so can (s)he). If it doesn't, everyone will be bummed out & depressed. Either way, I'll have to go. We're hoping for a girl this time to balance out the male/female ratio. This will add up to 6 nieces & nephews for hubby & me. No way do I need to be having kids.

Yesterday, I managed to avoid Black Friday shopping hell & am thankful that I did. I know people who did in smaller places who said they couldn't see going out in it in a major city. Since I don't have small kids & still remember the ethic of What Would Jesus Buy? (you can also become a fan of the Rev. Billy on Facebook), I'm just not into shopping for things I don't really need. Even coming up with a Christmas list means me thinking of things I will use, stores that sell things I will actually buy & of course, considering asking for things we think are too expensive for us to buy. However, people in my family plan this way in advance. We've even finished all retail shopping at this point so we don't have to go out in that shopping hell. I'd be interested to see how much the Internet has displaced brick & mortar shopping over the years, especially during the holidays.

Wouldn't you know the dumb asses at the MTA decided to shut down my local subway line this weekend? Last year, they shut it down during the weekend of Comic Con. Do these idiots think no one in my area goes shopping? Are they trying to harm the city's tourism & commercial dollars? My area's never going to be some great alternative to Manhattan until they stop with that BS. The only good thing is I live in walking distance of another subway line that is running so I'm not at the mercy of a shuttle bus.

Yesterday, I finally discovered how to create & put custom ringtones on my iPhone. I'd been able to get the ringtones on there as music but not get them added as actual ringtones in the ringtones section of the phone. Figuring this out has been significant for me, along with the discovery that you can use apps to create ringtones from your own songs. I hate being at the mercy of big business or having to get something everyone else likes but not songs that are more obscure & that I'd rather have. I generally also like my ringtones instrumental & made some great ones, including some from the opening song in Office Space. No store will cater to my tastes & preferences so it's best that people like me get to create their own stuff.

Today, I've continued working on the ringtone project. One thing I really hate about iTunes is that it seems to be all or nothing with files. For instance, I created test ringtones. Why can't I just delete them with a right click or a button, though?! I don't like how they came out so I don't want them. iTunes seems to make it more complicated than it should be to get music on your iPod or iPhone or get rid of songs. That's something I really don't like about it. Once you get the hang of it, though, you're good. I feel like I'm going to have to keep a written tutorial for myself, though since it's not one of those programs where the obvious solution works.

Oh, and I continue doing video blogs periodically on Mobli. If you want to find them, I'm under "angryredheadlaw". Don't think I got that hosting job but when I saw an ad later stating that it would be unpaid, I think it's for the best. The saga that is my life continues.

My Love/Hate Relationship With The Legal Field

2011-11-22T15:16:00.000-08:00

I feel that way about a lot of it. One of NYCLA's committees and the Cardozo School of Law Indie Film Clinic folk are shining examples.

There are things I like about NYCLA:

1. Cheaper CLE courses
2. Cheaper membership fees & more flexible terms for the unemployed
3. More dedication to get with modern times & actually use technology instead of just hopping on the bandwagon
4. Some great staff, including Stewart Aaron, who I know through the City Bar Entertainment Committee. He even contributed to my company's latest attempt at crowd funding though the campaign ultimately failed. In short, he rocks!
5. Perhaps a bit more accessibility to higher ups than to people at City Bar
6. I've been told this one is also more progressive in ideas & open to new things than City Bar; I see some of that

Here's what I really don't like: the total lack of respect. I found out that NYCLA's Art Committee is seeking entries for the 2nd Annual Film Festival. I submitted some films last year; 2 were shown & 1 was told her film would be shown in the spring (because last year, the festival was in the Fall).

My friend whose film was supposed to be shown in the Spring never heard a word from them again. I even asked today to make sure; never heard a damn thing.

While there was a whole article in there lauding one particular film I don't recall seeing as part of this series, there was no mention of any plans to screen her film & it did have a legal theme. To my knowledge, no one even told her they'd changed their minds.

This just pisses me off since first off, it comes on top of having to complain when I was not given credit for submitting the initial short film that came in (whose application I personally sent in for the filmmaker I nominated). My company got a decent welcome & treatment when we came in the next month but I have to wonder if it's because I threatened to pull us out of there after not getting recognized for nominating the first film that I got into the series.

The total snubbing of my friend really makes me look back & wonder about that.

Second, it's disrespect to me. I'm putting my neck out there & vouching for this organization to MY contacts, who don't know this place from anywhere else. Many of my contacts have things you're never going to see in some mainstream theater. They have art & I don't vouch for folk who don't have talent or a product I like.

As for more disrespect to me, I was told that the Indie Film Clinic at Cardozo would be considering attorneys to volunteer there this past fall.

Okay, first off I've been in the indie film game for 4 years at my own company!! I've been doing things that most attorneys don't get to do & I'm perceived in a way they aren't: I'm not just some lawyer in a suit (good luck finding one that doesn't look frumpy on me). I'm a creative person MYSELF & have cred for it--I never even had to ask anyone to see my creative works. I actually know how to talk to creative types & make things clear without the legalese or elitist attitude.

I'm actually IN that world! I'm not some outsider looking in. I know the fucking culture, something I really don't see the average law firm attorney having! Most of you aren't going to have executive knowledge.

As I know law schools are obsessed with GPA, law review participation & where you went to law school (despite the head of this clinic saying they would look at one's practical experience in selection choices), it seems to me that you're not going to get effective help here if you're an indie filmmaker.

I've never recommended it to anyone & I still won't. Indie filmmaking continues to change & what worked 10 years ago doesn't necessarily work today (this was even stated by the presenter at my Aspiring Filmmakers' Bootcamp, himself a well known indie filmmaker). Unless you're a lawyer who actually has some creative cache in the business (prior or current experience in an entertainment role, close friends within it, etc.), you don't know shit about getting that client trust & respect. Hollywood is also very different from the indie world. I don't know of many attorneys in law firms who'd bother to research the indie film culture & I don't mean "indie" like the movie aired on IFC. I'm speaking of true, underground indie that most people don't know about & you have to actually FIND to know about.

Who else finds something wrong with an indie film clinic where an attorney that actually WORKS in the indie film industry as executive + lawyer is not being contacted to get involved? That elitist BS doesn't fly in my world. No one cares about your Harvard law degree & if you bring it up, you'll be announcing yourself as a privileged douchebag who can't help the average indie filmmaker. No one's cared about where I went to law school & used it as a basis for my worth as a person like attorneys will do to others.

Hearing about these examples, you can see where my loyalties lie & why they lie where they do. I'm all about my creative/entertainment people, at least the ones who aren't jerks to me or completely unprofessional. Seems that's a much smaller number than the amount of attorneys who have disrespected me.

My involving legal stuff in anything is usually out of the desire to help my entertainment people, not legal organizations (individual attorneys are a different story since I never refer people I despise). While I think the President of NYCLA is awesome & would say the same about some people within that association, I don't really want to join the LinkedIn groups or follow them on Facebook or anything. To me, that sort of thing feels like a public validation of "you're cool." I just can't do that, especially with this disregard to my friend & to me. I can't do it for City Bar either.

I think the concept of an indie film legal clinic is a good one but that clinic should be headed by attorneys with actual entertainment industry experience who know that personality (including motivation) & experience trumps law school BS that only means something to clueless morons who deserve the incompetence they get from hiring based on such standards (I'm talking to you, BigLaw). Academics & BigLaw refugees who don't have entertainment experience should stay out of leadership roles unless they can drop the snottiness & elitism of those worlds + learn the indie culture. That's the only way such a clinic stands a chance of being effective & encouraging the desired clientele to show up.

Crap like this fuels me to surpass them professionally & personally. One day, these assholes will be clamoring to talk to me & I will have only two words to say. You can guess what they are.

How to Get Shot By a Stranger: My Continuing Venom for Most SUV Drivers in the 'Burbs

2011-11-19T21:17:00.000-08:00

Having gotten my driver's license in college and spending more of that time driving in Atlanta (a major city), I'll admit to having some road rage. In fact, my entire family has a degree of road rage. See, unlike many people of their age, my parents do not drive "like Maw Maw & Pap Paw." They HATE people who drive like that on the roads! Hell, my father is a former truck driver & owned a black Camaro. He's also the one who ended up teaching me how to drive after I felt it was impossible & had a fear of doing it.

My sister also ended up getting in numerous car accidents as a teen (including a near total of her new car when I was a senior & her front seat passenger, weeks before the prom; luckily, we were not injured as if the car that hit us had been going much faster, we could have crashed into a nearby power pole). Her driving scared the Hell out of me when we were younger but now, she still doesn't play around & will freely curse out the slow drivers. She doesn't drive like anybody's fat, old, harpy, bitchy soccer mom!! If you lumped her into that category, she'd probably hurt you (she's also a natural redhead & we're all nuts, remember). Oh, and she's got a yellow Mustang since like my father, she likes a car that has "guts".

So, while I do admit to having road rage & that my family does have lead feet at least we will not be the people doing 30 mph on a busy interstate unless there's a damn good reason for it (weather, construction or the traffic in front of us). These are the people other drivers want to kill, especially when they have things to do & there's no reason for it.

Oh, and if you are a man who drives like this? You will NOT pick up women that way!!! You will not impress young chicks & all you will succeed in doing is pissing off the rest of the motorists. Take it from an industry certified hottie. We are also mindful of cops and seek to drive with traffic instead of causing jams & bottlenecks.

This is contrary to the aim of many drivers I see in areas outside of major cities, where you will be gutted like a fish if you cause traffic problems. City cops may even join in if they're not too busy raiding peaceful protests.

Today, my husband & I were traveling to Long Island. He was driving, as he normally does, and we were getting off an exit from one busy parkway to a busy highway. The particular highway we were trying to merge onto was a particularly busy section where cars travel at least 40 mph. Behind my husband is a moron driving a silver SUV.*

* Let me pause this story for a moment to share my feelings on SUV drivers. On the whole, I fucking HATE them. Unless you have a large family, own a business where you have to carry lots of things like a construction company & most importantly, know how to drive one, you've got no business having one. The location issue is irrelevant where I live. I don't mind sitting in them but I would hate driving one since they guzzle gasoline (isn't it high enough?), you can't see well in them & most people can't park them to save their lives (that was said by an ex of mine who owned an SUV; however, he had a painting company & kids so he did have justification to own one). You can't see around them in traffic & I just hate to see them coming. I also agree that it seems many drivers have these vehicles to compensate for a very small penis since they will zoom in them, blast high beams at you if you don't want to be their speed shields & generally behave like pricks on the road, especially in Long Island.

Getting back to the story, this moron nearly rear ends my husband then cuts in front of him. In the middle of this busy highway, the dumbass slows down. My husband tries to pass, figuring maybe he's just some clueless turd who doesn't know where he's going (as there are many in Long Island who will stop in the middle of the street & make no effort to pull over). Dumbass decides to weave in the lanes, slowing down all the while. We're wondering what in God's name is going on when all of a sudden, this idiot stops in the middle of Sunrise Highway! If you are familiar with NY driving, you can already see the absurdity of this.

Then, when you think this story can't get better, the driver comes out of the car and moves toward us. This is some little punk guy, no more than 25 if that. My husband reaches down, tells me to get my phone out (which I do since it's looking like it's time to call the cops on this douche) and I feel for some weapons to make this guy sorry if he dares to try anything.

All of a sudden, before getting too close to our car, the guy turns around, goes back to the car, starts it and continues on like nothing happened. He goes very slowly, heads over to the right hand lane (we were in the left lane & he's had to cross about 2 lanes to get where he goes), then turns off at the VERY FIRST right turn at a major intersection.

I'm watching this guy like a hawk as this goes on because I'm not going to be followed and then harmed.

I wasn't aware of it at the time but my husband said he reached down to make the guy think he was getting a weapon like a gun. He thinks someone was in the SUV & yelled some sense into this hothead so he'd back off. With that quick turning, you have to wonder if this guy may have thought we'd take action.

The answer: hell yes!! Believe it or not, I'm not the sort of person who starts things. As my mom says "Don't start nothing, won't be nothing." My husband is the same way. He was merely trying to merge onto the highway, not tailgating this guy or doing something anyone would consider antagonistic.

But if you fuck with me or my family, you will get yours & I will not be responsible for what happens.

Furthermore, if I ever saw someone even leave a scratch on my spouse, that person would be dead in a heartbeat. My life would no longer have value to me if he was killed or got hurt. No gun or anything would phase me at that point; you could call it the same kind of reaction I had when I saw my ex-friend's husband kick that cat carrier. That fucker would be praying for the police to show up because let me tell you, you don't do that to someone's true love if you don't want to have your nuts chopped off & fed to you or something equally grotesque/scary/disturbing happening.

Especially when that person is already off mentally (you can make this argument for most creative people) & knows they've got no chance at finding anyone who could top that relationship. I would be warning any police officer on that scene that they're going to need to restrain me because I will murder such a person with my bare hands out of uncontrolled rage. If that person fled, it would become my mission to hunt him/her down like a dog & take care of that for my own soul.

I'm sure you see empty, soulless eyes if you ever did something like that to us. No one messes w/my man & I know he feels the same about me.

This is why for all my strong views and my "enforcer" cred, I really don't get into fights or conflicts very much. If I have to resort to physical violence, it's going to be one of those "We're taking this to the woodshed & one of us isn't coming back" moments. If I take on any endeavor, it's going to be done right or not at all.

Now if you think I sound scary without even having a gun, imagine how many people on the planet may feel just like me & have far fewer pro-social impulses to obey the law or even basic regard for human beings. Might you want to consider that some person in a car might have a loaded weapon and shoot first, thinking you're going to harm them? Or even just shoot you in rage? I've read & heard enough stories about shootings over parking spaces in mall parking lots to know better than to go approach a stranger like that.

I would dare any law enforcement officer to punish a driver in my husband's situation if (s)he shot or killed someone in the position of this random asshole who stopped in the middle of the highway for no good reason & then got out of his car to approach him/her. I don't recall a law that says potential crime victims have to sit there & take it + I think if it happened, that person would end up like Bernard Goetz (hopefully without the racism aspect though I think an asshole is an asshole is an asshole). I would want to help that person find a good lawyer.

By the way, today's shithead was white. I predict he won't be living much longer if he keeps that up.

I also find it ironic that this happened in Long Island, an area where many people live in fear of the "big, scary city" that is Queens, Manhattan, Brooklyn & the Bronx (maybe you can get Long Islanders to go to Staten Island since Staten Island is more suburban than the rest of the boroughs, I don't know). Getting some Long Islanders into NYC is literally like pulling teeth. In fact, those people will swear to you that Long Island is a safe place while NYC is a bastion of crime, violence & in short, a hellhole. Never mind some of the more grizzly crimes that have happened in Long Island, especially recently.

These are the people I think should be trading places with people in the Midwest, the South and other smaller regions where people there would go to NYC all the time if they lived in Long Island but don't have the means to get there. The skittish Long Islanders are wasted living there & should be living in the middle of nowhere or in smaller towns since they'd benefit more from it in my view. I'd have killed for this kind of exchange myself as a North Carolinian who didn't even get to visit NYC until college.

This furthers my belief that Long Island drivers in SUVs are assholes. Now we can add "morons who want to die or serve jail time" to that list. We were about to call the cops but didn't get the plate # & the person didn't follow us so we considered it a win.

The 1st Amendment is Dead

2011-11-15T14:50:00.000-08:00

Now, I'm even more certain of this considering this story where the NY Supreme Court has ruled in favor of Fascist Bloomberg.

Gee, last I checked the 1st Amendment didn't have an expiration date on it. It didn't have an addendum in there that said "You only have rights until others get upset or offended." I don't like seeing women with their nipples hanging out; if I'm a government body, does that give me a license to hand out bras or demand them to cover up with the threat of arrest & jail?? Maybe I should also get to beat the shit out of deadbeat parents who don't watch their kids without punishment because THAT offends me.

Michael Stallman just confirmed that the 1st Amendment is dead & I hope he knows he just signed off on bloody revolution. JFK even said it, "Those who make peaceful protest impossible make violent revolution inevitable."

How's about all you politicians shut the fuck up about patriotism, rights and any of that noise? How about you also start repealing more laws since rich people never get punished for anything unless they harm other rich people (see Bernie Madoff)? Even Congress gets to engage in insider trading while Martha Stewart & anyone else is punished for it.

What are you peaceniks going to do? I know I don't trust Fascist Bloomberg (since he's not worthy of my respect as I never voted for him, he's never acted in MY interest or did anything that helped me; he's nothing but a saboteur). I also know I don't trust the NYPD, or as I will refer to them from this day forward "the JP Morgan Chase Bank rent-a-cops". The law is clearly bought & sold by Bloomberg & his little cronies. Personally, I subscribe to the Malcolm X approach: "By any means necessary."

If these people are serious & are smart, they will not let these corrupt mayors & politicos piss on their rights. They will not cower or just play "peaceful" while getting beaten up anyway. I do hope immigrants are getting the message & people see what's happening. Are you free in the United States? HA! What a fucking joke! You're hilarious if you think the Constitution or the 1st Amendment mean a damn thing to these assholes; clearly it does not.

The establishment cheerleaders who continue feeding us this fiction need to get the hell out of here & move to a "real" repressive regime. Go to Libya or some other country where thinking is unnecessary. Then, you can watch your shitty reality shows while the rest of us do something productive. At least go here to find out what's actually going on instead of regurgitating Fox News or some other mainstream outlet.

Ironic I'm saying the 1st Amendment is dead when we still have online blogs & so forth. When we still have television shows independent of government control. All I can say is don't get comfortable. Government control will be more obvious & it's coming much sooner than you think. Consider the latest attempt to censor the Internet via SOPA. Here's a way to fight back.

Are you also outraged at the douchebags in NYC? Well, there is one city council member who is a human being. This gentleman was at the censorship crusade & even got injured at the hands of the JP Morgan Chase rent-a-cops. I made a special effort to call their offices & thank him for participating as well as supporting free speech rights. I was also happy to see in that AP story linked above that there are some government officials who aren't too busy sucking the collective rich's dick to represent ALL their constituents, not just the ones who contributed the most campaign money.

I encourage people to contact these offices & thank these folks. At the same time, here are some links to contact Fascist Bloomberg & others.

Key members of the Bloomberg Administration, including the head rent-a-cop who you can send an e-mail to.

You can also try calling the general City Hall number (you can get this by clicking on the name of a deputy mayor) or using this. I warn you, they just expect you to go to 311 since Bloomberg refuses to be accountable to the people; maybe his special friends have some private number to reach him? If you get it & post it publicly, you'll be my hero + ally. If you out him as a homosexual, my husband won't be surprised.

I also wonder whether Eric Schneiderman, the state Attorney General, knew about all this little raid & decided not to go to City Bar tonight because he didn't want to face the heat from the intelligent of us who would call him to task on it. Seems an awful lot to me like he knew something & will continue to let rich people ride shotgun in NYC, including Fascist Bloomberg. If he thinks people will have forgotten by the end of February, he may be in for a rude awakening. If you're so inclined, you can make a comment here. Do I sound paranoid? Not really if you consider the history of corruption in NY.

Please don't say a word to me about the Constitution or the 1st Amendment having real teeth or effectiveness. The US is as much a fascist regime as any other & I'll maintain that stance unless or until there's a new sheriff in town who's not from the same old corrupt boardroom, Congress or other institute of insulation designed for the scum of the Earth. I think the right to speak anonymously is only going to be more important & it's high time to go outside the system. These jerks had also better pray very hard that I end up financially successful or they're going to be very, very sorry. See other entries for what happens to smart people when you leave them with no way to actually do something GOOD in society.

The "Image" of Lawyer & The Social Justice a.k.a. "We Are the PC Police" Movement

2011-11-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

Perception vs. reality is a dichotomy that many newer attorneys surely have to be able to relate to. Public perception, especially among non-lawyers, seems like it hasn't caught up to the archetype of "$100K+ in debt, no jobs or job paying less than a Wal-Mart manager's yearly salary". It gets even more unusual if you're a committee member of a bar association committee that has many veteran attorneys as active members. Being a business owner also seems to drive this perception vs. reality issue.

Then again, if you went back to look at my life, you'd see this conflict in full force. I went to a religious private school that cost a pretty penny in tuition but lived in a trailer park. I was a smart kid taking classes with kids from far higher economic backgrounds than me (even my former best friend didn't come from particularly humble means). The higher level classes at my school weren't associated with kids from broken homes or a dysfunction you could see just by looking at them. I went to a college attended by lots of kids who weren't from a trailer park (Ted Turner's daughter even went there). My sorority didn't have other girls from my parents' situation & I certainly didn't see it at my law school either.

In all this time, no one would ever refer to me as "trailer trash" or "white trash"; honestly, I was always credited as coming from a higher income level than I actually did. No one EVER treated me differently i.e. inferior or viewed me as out of place. I'm pretty sure that to this day, if you didn't ask me but just saw me someplace or didn't know my origins you'd probably never think of me in that way.

It's not that I ever tried to put on airs or act like a social climber. Far from it: I was always just being myself, however eccentric or unusual. In fact, I was trying so hard to rebel from the "prep" image everyone had of me (I got 3 holes pierced in each ear for this reason). No matter what I did, that "prep" image still seemed to follow me; maybe it still does considering I'm a lawyer.

I also wasn't crazy about the "goody goody" image but that bothered me less since I had a laser focus to get out of my hometown. I wasn't going to sleep with guys or do things that would stop me from leaving as fast as I could & as soon as I could. My personality is just naturally seen as "classy," I suppose. Look how big I am on my own privacy!

You could also say my parents (or at least my mother) raised me right since I wasn't hanging around the ruffians who lived in my neighborhood & got into trouble at school. I knew who they were but I had nothing in common with them as people. My methods for doing something to break conformity were still within the system and I had the advantage of my "goody goody, smart kid" image to get away with things.

When I heard about Columbine (which literally happened days before our graduation & was why we could not bring hangars for our robes to the coliseum), I figured that if you want to have a successful high school shooting you'd need a smart kid like me to help you. No one would have suspected me of a thing; I was in the hall one day when my entire class was gone on the senior class picnic (I was the only junior there & my teacher was one of the chaperones) & had no place to go. Other kids around me were being busted for skipping but not a single teacher or administrator approached me to ask why I was in the hall. I'd have gladly told them why & asked them what they'd have me do when my classroom was locked up & my teacher was gone but I ended up hanging out with another teacher during her free period. I was even a page at various school offices & had access to sensitive information such as students' class schedules & personal information.

Now even though I had this persona in high school, I freely said it should be renamed "Parkland Prison". I even have a picture that illustrates WHY this is so. My high school literally had no windows in the classrooms except for these little skinny things that let in almost no light. I have a picture of one of these windows.

There's also that whole petition situation. You'd think the powers there would have been watching my butt like a hawk, especially when my parents sided with me over one of their own in that whole thing. I even had that whole "woman of the people" aspect going for me since I'd speak up if something was asinine though I gave credit where it was due. Strangers with Candy got it right when they said high school was like prison though I said that about mine before I ever saw it.

Scared, respectful of me or just viewed me as too much of a non-issue to deal with (and this doesn't even cover middle school when I started standing up for myself & helped friends who were being racially discriminated against by one of the teachers there)? You decide.

For the record, I STILL think that if you want to take down the maximum amount of people in a high school, you need one of those kids to help you or you're just an amateur + not really committed. You could probably extend that to most other places as well. The "insider" angle.

See what I mean about perception vs. reality? Today, this has led to people asking me for money I don't have (I got a solicitation from The Actor's Fund to help poor actors & I thought "What about poor me?"), assuming I have much more than I do & getting access to things that your average "rabble" probably wouldn't.

I signed up for a forum on Tuesday where my bar association is having a talk with the State Attorney General. I'm sure plenty of Occupy protestors, folk at Credo & others would love the opportunity to ask him why he's not pursuing criminal action against the Wall Street bankers & forces that caused the mortgage crisis. I may have to ask that if others do not. That temptation may be too great to pass up. Plus, you'd better believe I insist on any political figure representing me knowing that I'm watching them like a hawk & if you want my praise, your actions will make or break you.

I'm also a hard core cynic who's getting more hardened by how government has reacted to the Occupy protests. As far as I'm concerned, I think the 1st Amendment & the Constitution are nearly reduced to platitudes at this point. Platitudes mean shit to me, okay?

I'd also like to see if any other topics are mentioned that I may have to inquire about as well (assuming my more progressive colleagues don't seize those moments since any real attorney stands behind the rights of protestors to express their rights without government ordinances, sham "clean up" efforts & other dirty tricks). Going to this event, presumably populated with more of the 1% than the 99%, I'm sure a speaker would be caught off guard by people who aren't engaged in ass kissing.

Again, you find me a politician who isn't a back-pedalling, PC obsessed, hypocritical crybaby who has a fully functioning brain & I'll vote for him/her. There may be an easier way to find this: if only there were an app to tell you about these people, there would be a way to even up the information gap & prevent the guy with the most money & best smear ads from winning every single time b/c mainstream media told you to vote for him.

Oh, and in case you thought I was lying about professional, so-called "mainstream" types supporting the Occupy protests go read this. That's how I'd be if I were in that position since I don't consider myself "special" or "superior" to anyone because of my occupation.

Glad to see some people aren't greedy assholes who should be exiled to their own island. I'd also like to see idiots get the same treatment. In fact, I saw comments from an Internet user that if I saw in real life, I'd have to smack. The "poor me" is sick & tiring; we can ALL play that crap. Plus, playing Word Police isn't going to win you any friends (particularly when you're attacking common phrases like "lame" & "stupid" or claiming that strangers have white privilege -- go back to earlier entries for my views on that topic). The "social justice" movement doesn't have a friend in me, that's for sure.

Not that I condone using the n-word or racial slurs against people (you can insult them in so many better ways such as with the term "God botherer," a British term for "bible thumper" that I'm going to start using) but when you act like a bitch, I'm not going to call you a princess & kiss your feet lest your precious whittle feelings get hurt. That's called "Grow up & join us in the real world! Have some accountability for your assholishness or suffer the consequences."

Squeaky Wheels, People. Squeaky Wheels!

2011-11-10T14:16:00.001-08:00

That is clearly how you get things done in life: being a squeaky wheel. Being a squeaky wheel does NOT mean being insulting people or calling them names. It means not allowing people to walk on you if you're being mistreated or not getting something you paid for. It means asserting yourself calmly & trying to explain things in a way that people will want to help you.

Imagine my shock when I got a call today from the rep I'd spoken to at Michael Ginarais' office. I was skeptical that they were going to do much; after all, I've seen many a government worker & political office worker brush off me as well as others I helped. I do remember dealing with the would-be lobbyist & getting political doublespeak. I know platitudes when I see them, and I've certainly seen my fair share of them. I also have a very cynical view of government & politics to begin with. So I felt like I was being fed a platitude & they weren't really going to take action. Some people hand out platitudes like candy & con others into thinking they are sincere when they really aren't. I'm not sure if the lawyer thing has anything to do with it or maybe that I'm just a loudmouth who'll remind you that you can't treat me like some smelly fart. Ignoring me doesn't make me go away. That will just make me madder.

The rep I spoke to was helpful, gave me useful information & a direct method of contact in case I had future trouble. We also had our 4th Verizon tech arrive & find a problem no one else had. I'm hoping this will be the end of our little rain problem but I guess I won't know this until it rains. Thus far, I haven't lost my service again so that's good. I also had a very busy day yesterday. I attended a financial conference that a Twitter follower was conducting & invited me to. I wasn't sure I qualified as an investor but as I do have a business that should eventually get financing & an interest in doing more investing (because maybe you are one if you have a CD with a bank?), I figured since I was invited I may as well go since I could learn something new that might be practical for my business or for personal investing.

One significant observation: people at this event were much friendlier to me as a stranger than attorneys would be. People actually SPOKE to me & I networked. At lawyers events that aren't "networking events," you're lucky to get a "hello" from an attorney that doesn't know you. I went to a Vault Career Fair a few years back & there was a lunch with it.

This event also had a lunch where you sat with people at a table. The difference is people at this event actually spoke to me and we learned about what each other's work & involvement in the financial industry. I'm also glad to know that there are firms that advise corporations on making sure they are complying with proper corporate governance (such as making sure they have the proper number of independent directors on their boards) & that corporations use them.

I also didn't feel a vibe of snobbery & elitism like most people would expect. That vibe is something I pick up on quickly since I've experienced it so much & I know what I'm looking for.

At lunch, one person said my job was more interesting that hers but I pointed out that the downside is I don't get the financial security since my company's not financed. This is very true: if you work in entertainment, you're not going to get rich unless you're extremely passionate, motivated & willing to work for yourself. You have to seek out opportunities & work much harder than someone with a steady income and company. You'd expect people to immediately back away from me after that but it didn't happen.

The speakers also struck me as being human beings first & foremost i.e. approachable. Not something you'd expect or see much of. I also wasn't in dressy attire while most of the people attending were. I generally won't do that since I don't have to; I'm not here to put on airs or impress folks in that way. We're not in court & if there's no dress code, why shouldn't I dress for basic comfort?

Contrast this with me going to lawyer events that aren't formal networking events, especially if no one I know from a bar committee is there: you can feel the elitism & self-importance in the room. Only more recently have I felt truly comfortable at the bar associations I currently belong to. I still feel distant from folk there sometimes but that could because I'm doing something so different, even compared to other entertainment lawyers. I have much more confidence about it after higher ups in these places have told me to just be myself & meeting people who make me feel less like an outcast or an oddball. Even so, if I'm at an event where someone I know isn't there no one bothers to talk to me so I feel like "Why am I here?"

Bar associations could really take a lesson from sororities when it comes to integrating new members (mine, at least since I can't speak for others). They should view it as entertaining guests in your home & trying to make those guests feel comfortable. In sorority recruitment, you were not allowed to leave potential new members alone for the entire time they were attending your premises; the members had to talk to all of them & be gracious, even if you felt that girl had no business trying to pledge your house (ideally, you had multiple sisters talking to each girl so you could get a gauge of the girl's fit for your chapter). There was a basic standard of politeness expected that I imagine is still the norm today. I think making that effort would really help since not everyone can, in a psychological sense, go approach a group of strangers.

I do have to compliment one of my colleagues who is the president of one of these bar associations (NYCLA) since he does attend events & makes himself accessible to everyone, not just the seasoned members or the most high profile lawyers. The best things about the Vault Career Fair: the swag & networking with one of the lawyers representing a firm seeking applicants. Apparently, he'd been trying to pick me up while I was trying to network.

The other observation from this financial conference: I'm not as ignorant on matters of finance as I thought I was. I had some knowledge of what was being said & I could understand some of it. Taking Business Organizations in law school paid off!

Oh, and they also had some nice swag.

To finish out the day, I decided to go to my first community board meeting. Remember this whole Verizon debacle & how I said it seems I'm going to have to get involved in political matters reluctantly? I did.

One thought, though: is it just me or are forums where the public or others can advocate for their rights deliberately held in locations that are public transit nightmares? My husband's union meetings, for instance, are held in a location where it's a pain in the ass to get there unless you've got a car. I wonder how many people usually attend with that. I can't help but wonder if that's some kind of ploy to keep people from exercising their rights or using their voice. It wouldn't shock me if it was. See the cynical thoughts that come to my head? Not sure you can blame that on my being a lawyer.

Anyhow, I did go & turned out to be a good decision. For one thing, they have public comment at the beginning of the meeting. I was happy to see this since you normally hear about it being at the end & we all know what happens at the end of a meeting: people leave or zone out & won't listen to you. I never like to perform last in a show if others are doing what I'm doing (singing or acting). I got to speak first since the person signed up ahead of me wasn't present.

I was able to eloquently make my point in less than 3 minutes & learned that the chairman along with others in the room had had the same problem with Verizon. I also met members of the community board, one of whom introduced me to another attorney who as it turned out is the spouse of a manager my husband worked with at one point. I warned hubby that if I meet managerial folk from his job, I'd directly ask them about the whole promotions issue & why my husband is not being properly utilized. Everyone knows it's best not to have me meet the library's HR folk because I'll let them have it as the person in charge of HR in my own business (informally but I'm the only lawyer & I've done the interviews for positions that didn't require creative judgments). Same for that library director: I'll take him to task since he deserves it & screwing with my family means you're screwing with me.

Hopefully, the Verizon issue was resolved but I appreciate getting the help and information. It certainly may still be time for a block association considering that abandoned house sitting there & possibly now being a druggie hangout. I did also get the sense that the community board did try to help folk & cared about what was going on. My husband wants to go to the next meeting.

So, a lesson: bother your politicians & go to your community board meetings. Then you can complain about corruption & make an educated decision in casting votes. Squeaky wheels & all that. Plus, getting in people's faces will show them that their constituents are watching & will not let them forget if they screw up or don't take action on some major issue.

However, what I'm not sure is available but would love to see as a smartphone app is an app where you can find out about all your local campaigns, go to all the campaign websites & learn about the campaign contributions accepted by each candidate. There are websites for the campaign contribution monies but I don't know of any one set place where you can learn about everyone running for local office & what their platforms are on major issues, including how they would solve problems within the realm of the office. This could give an edge to candidates with less money, especially if they aren't taking corporate "bribes", appearing in TV ads or invited to televised debates, late night talk shows, etc.

Say, Buddy Roemer who seems like one of the only Republicans who isn't a woman hating, lunatic fringe scumbag who constantly makes "gaffes" and either needs or has had a lobotomy. I wouldn't trust most of the media darling GOP candidates to manage a piggy bank, much less a whole country.

People Who Should Be Punched In the Face

2011-11-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

Ideally, I'd love some people to be punched so hard even plastic surgery won't get them back to their former glory. For one thing, I suspect some retaliation going on with Verizon because of me complaining about shoddy service. Magically, on a sunny day, my landline goes out & Internet gets buggy.

I speak to my contact in the Executive Customer Service Center about this & how I suspect it's retaliation (especially considering a Verizon truck was spotted working on equipment in our area, then vanishes & problems result). Gee, what would YOU conclude with all this & my prior experiences? I also called up my local city councilperson's office quite angry yesterday.

Based on the attitude I got in my Senate person's office, I'll be making certain not to vote for Michael Gianaris when he's up for re-election. My e-mail inquiring on his stance toward indie film companies didn't go through (since in his newsletter sent to my home some time back, there's this big story about how he's helping the entertainment industry in NYC) so I have to wonder if he, like Bloomberg, thinks only rich companies & people have rights. I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was "yes." I think most politicians are drastically overpaid & there's certainly enough evidence of it that I don't have to link salary listings for you. A lot of them have also forgotten just who they work for. The Occupy protests are shining examples of this.

But, onto those specific people I think should be punched (alongside corporate assholes, rude folk & people claiming the protestors should stop protesting & "get jobs" while suppressing the right to protest). More interesting & appalling Craig's List ads ahead.

Video editing and production intern (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-15, 8:07PM EDT
Reply to: job-37ued-2548830833@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Video production company seeking a talented intern with an interest in editing, production and marketing for video. Approx. 2-3 days/wk. Please apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). Internship will be split between editing, production, marketing and clerical.

Ideal candidate will have above average written and verbal communication skills and be comfortable with speaking to clients and vendors on the phone and in person.

- Should be reliable, punctual and organized
- Candidates should have their own MAC laptops
- Candidates with experience in editing and who are working toward becoming editors are preferred. Please note your skill level in Final Cut Pro, After Effects and Photoshop.

Duties would include organizing office, scheduling editing sessions and crews, assisting on video shoots, making phone calls, media logging and transferring, preparing footage for editing, editing small video projects, assisting on large editing projects and crafting emails.

Please reply to this posting with a resume, brief cover letter describing your goals and experience and provide any video samples. Include your contact info in email body. Again, please only apply if you are able to commit at least 15 hours/wk (up to 25/wk). We will be contacting people ASAP.

My problems with this ad are A) attempts to exploit experienced people by making them work as interns (my company, for the record, has never done this & has more respect for people than that), B) zero reimbursement for using personal equipment or travel (which is scuzzy if you ask me) & C) asking for 25 hours a week. The average day job is 40 hours a week & these days, most ask for more. Plus, for 3 days at 25 hours: that's a shift at a full time job (8 hours).

This strikes me as illegal under federal & state labor law. Seeing such ads tells me "I don't have a lawyer either in-house or outside my company. I'm a moron & will not go anywhere."

But it does get worse.

Film Finance Company Seeks Full Time Intern (Flatiron)

Date: 2011-08-15, 6:33PM EDT
Reply to: job-sz5q4-2548670456@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

A New York City-based film finance company is looking for a full time office intern with exceptional communication and organizational skills. The individual should be interested in film finance but also have experience working in an office or as a personal assistant. Tasks will include a full range of administrative duties as well as script coverage and creative work. The internship will start unpaid with the potential for compensation in time and all the perks of working for a film company. Position requires 4-5 days work a week, starts immediately in New York City.

Interested candidates should reply to this ad with a resume and cover letter listing all relevant experience.

Compensation: unpaid with potential for future pay
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2548670456

Totally ILLEGAL to have a "full time intern." And why the hell would anyone work full time for no pay? Even a millionaire would want some type of return on their free labor & certainly would want that. This is sick & insulting.

Furthering the insulting & illegal internships category is this gem.

Ent. Writers Needed Established NYC Entertainment Group! (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-16, 2:40AM EDT
Reply to: job-rwhqf-2549244904@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Are you interested in pursuing a career in entertainment, specifically in the field of writing? Is your writing ability one to brag about? Does your style and passion separate you from the rest?

Come intern with us!

We are a rapidly expanding entertainment group with offices in Chelsea that has worked with well-known clients and brands like Mos Def, SummerStage, John Legend, Ciara, Rihanna, MTV, BET, Heineken, Bacardi, Miramax, and America's Next Top Model.

This fall we will be working on a slew of exciting projects which include producing a feature-length film, producing a citywide music festival, launching a network of entertainment-based blogs, and overseeing the music careers of several popular music artists, producers, and songwriters.

WRITING INTERNS must have eloquent writing skills, and an extended background in some sort of journal, poetry, essay and/or creative writing. Each intern must also have wealth of interest and knowledge in the music, film, and/or fashion worlds.

Furthermore, ALL INTERNS must be creative, willing to think outside of the box, reliable, motivated, problem solvers, out-going, and detail oriented with the ability to be a team player or a self-starter. Computer, oral and written communication, and people skills are a must.

This is a very BIG opportunity for all who apply so please, ONLY SERIOUS INQURIES!

Do you have what it takes to join our team?

If so, please send a brief email explaining why we should bring you on board!

Email us all of the following:

● Full Name
● Email Address
● Phone Number
● A brief introduction to who you are, what you are currently involved with, like school or personal projects, and what you think you can bring to our company
● Links to your Facebook account and any website(s) that you have.

If you are interested email us back immediately.

If we feel that you have what it takes, we will be in touch to schedule an interview.

The internship is a 4-month long internship with lots of room for growth.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Wow, go fuck yourself. First off, when someone's got experience at something they aren't a damn intern!!! They are a professional & should be compensated according to market rates.

Second, if your company has worked with big name clients (and this goes for all you name droppers) then chances are you've got the means to pay a professional what (s)he is worth. If you do not, you need to carefully evaluate what kind of opportunity working with you is going to give someone & how much you can realistically ask of someone working for free.

I'd wager a lot of money that most of these people promising paid employment at some future date aren't proving written internship agreements or putting that little promise in writing. If you take an internship with someone who makes this empty promise & doesn't back it up in writing, you've now been warned.

Rule of life, I suppose: if a person promises something but won't memorialize it in writing, it means they are full of crap & going to scam you sooner or later.

Finally, you expect unpaid interns to provide links to social media websites? I can understand asking to see a writing portfolio but what I look like has zero to do with writing. Asking for this stuff is nothing but a big judge fest, in my book.

This is an employer's attempt to find something they don't like about someone so they can reject them. Whether it's a legally protected category like race, age, religion, etc. or something like who you voted for in the last election or how you feel about a controversial topic like abortion, gun rights, the Occupy protests, the death penalty or even if you think Casey Anthony got away with murder, I as an employer would not want to see someone's Facebook pages. It's one thing for an employer to Google you & find things that way (which I also take issue with but you can read further back for my stance on that issue) but if you're making your Facebook page private, not friending everyone in sight & taking precautions so an employer couldn't find it on his/her own in a Google search, you've got every right to say "Hell no! I'm not giving you that as a condition to interviewing me."

I would NEVER in a trillion years give someone access to MY Facebook page if they were considering me for a job or an employer. Nor would I friend any co-worker from a job where I could get fired for being myself. Unless you make express, written agreement to let me be me on my own pages, you don't get to be my Facebook friend. End of story, case closed.

Employers need to stop acting like their staff's mommies & daddies. It's a big reason I'm not in favor of working for corporations or large businesses.

And, last I checked, NONE of you corporate executives or heads of big businesses were saints!!! Don't pretend that you are; even the Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged also." I certainly never claimed I was & wouldn't expect employees to be moral paragons either.

Now, another dick expecting free professional writing services:

Writer intern for Universal Records (Midtown East)

Date: 2011-11-08, 7:20AM EST
Reply to: gigs-jm5qn-2691243569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I run an indie label with distribution though Universal Music Group. We are currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases. This job could lead to a future paid position. Please note: you must own a lap top and live in NYC. If interested please forward your resume and contact info.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2691243569

I responded to this one earlier but apparently the ad is no longer active, which I think is awesome.

Do you know that it's illegal to require interns to have ANY previous experience? You ad says you're "currently looking for writers with expertise in writing business letters, proposals and press releases." It's also insulting to call a professional writer an "intern." Tell me, how does that benefit a professional in ANY way, shape or form? It doesn't! It's a step backwards!

And I see no mention of reimbursing anyone for the use of their PERSONAL laptop for YOUR company's work. Nor do I see a travel requirement but I have a feeling if there is one, you'd presume some professional writer who gets paid to write is going to fall all over himself/herself to PAY to do YOUR work via transit costs. Metrocards aren't cheap! $4.50 round trip adds up & some of us don't make enough in a month to justify a $104 monthly pass EVERY SINGLE MONTH.

I'm also willing to bet a million dollars you expect this professional writing "intern" to put YOUR work ahead of any paid assignments or day jobs outside the field, thinking people's landlords, utlity companies & the like will be fine accepting exposure and a smile instead of money for a place to live, food, power, etc.

Why don't you just call this what it is: an attempt to exploit a professional writer for your personal gain. Do YOU like to work for free? What if I offered YOU a job where you wouldn't get paid, called you MY intern, used YOUR expertise for free & then made you pay to travel to my office as well as use your personal resources for MY sole gain? I'd expect you'd tell me to fuck off.

How about opening your wallet & PAYING a professional for their quality + expertise instead of expecting a stranger to jump at the chance of being your "intern?" Or go ask a friend to do your freebies. As a professional writer who gets PAID for her services + an attorney/business owner, you need to get some empathy & some rational thinking skills. Otherwise, people will regularly tell you to fuck off & rightly so.

Craig's List isn't a networking group or your personal slave directory.

Don't forget that either. It ISN'T. Man, I want some people to be arrested in a criminal court for this sort of thing!

I've been getting paid to write, thank you. I don't perform free writing unless it's for my own projects like this blog or work with my own company or for my own performances where I have full creative control. Get the picture?

Not my problem that you can't write or aren't an attorney. Nor is it your problem that I have no mechanical skills or ability to fix a computer, lift heavy objects, etc.

This guy, oh he should be killed. That's all:

Personal Female Assistant

Date: 2011-11-01, 8:42PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-mycuu-2680593923@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Business man seeks attractive female assistant for lunch time and/or after hours stress relieving rendezvous. Hand job required. Send photos and state what you are willing to do for a prompt reply. Pays up to $1000 per week.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $1000 per week

PostingID: 2680593923

Hire a hooker, perv! I'd also love to see this guy's dick fall off. It would be poetic justice after all.

I was watching an episode of Disaster Date earlier & there was a date with an actor playing a chauvinist. Openly told the mark "Shut up! The men are talking here." Apparently, this date had escaped from Amish country but here's a little tip in dealing with me: if you EVER say something that to me or address me in a belittling fashion, expect me to kick you hard in the crotch, cut off your balls or otherwise do something very extreme that will render you unable to continue being a sexist douche. I would have punched him right in the face if I'd been that girl.

Famous people take note (especially James Belushi if you in fact actually did this): ask me to give you a blow job & I'll say you must really hate your dick b/c if I do that, I'll end up biting it off. That doesn't even go into what my husband will do to you & he'd probably kill you for doing less; like me, he doesn't care how famous you are or how much money you have. You may even cause trouble from a friend my husband hates who would love to be his replacement!

Plus, I was once offered $1,000 by a guy I went on my first date with to have sex with him (this was years later and he wasn't even close to rich); if I was ever selling sexual services, you'd have to start from there. Natural redheads are also the rarest people on the planet & have sexual myths + scientific studies making us more marketable on that end so you can't expect freebies. You want me to give you a blow job? At least offer a fair figure so I'll have a fun story to tell people later on.

Think very, very carefully about what you want the outcome to be in dealing with The Angry Redheaded Lawyer.

Better yet, do the same thing for all natural redheads & all female attorneys. It will make your life much easier & you won't end up like John Wayne Bobbit or a eunuch if they can't reattach your lost genitalia.

Yes, I bring lawyer analysis into situations like this. What's your point? I'm not going to do it but any business minded prostitute would consider those factors if she could use them to get a better rate.

More delusions:

intern (nyc)

Date: 2011-10-04, 12:38PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-qrby4-2632052483@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Magazine CEO needs an intern (personal assistant) for up coming fashion show. Please send picture, resume, links, website and why you want to be a personal assistant.
This is an unpaid turned paid position. Best suited for college or post college student hungry and willing to work. There will be pay in the future.
Must be sociable, good with social media, public relation skills, able to go to industry events, office work, organization skills and creative.

Location: nyc
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2632052483

More insults, illegality & asking for pictures. More obvious issues in lack of reimbursement, employment discrimination & the like. Can't we just shut these jerks down?

Finally, there's this ad that looks legit but not so fast...

Fall Interns Needed for BreakThru Radio (Chelsea)

Date: 2011-08-16, 9:29AM EDT
Reply to: job-nu4sx-2549427920@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

BreakThru Radio is looking for Fall Interns to join the BTR team. We are looking for individuals who have previous college radio skills and great writing skills in covering music and the culture for BreakThru Radio. You must have previous experience in the field. You will receive plenty of goodies in return for your awesome work and, yes, there are monetary incentives! Check us out at, www.breakthruradio.com.

If you love music, comedy, culture and radio and think that you would be an excellent team member, send us a cover letter and resume! Please list your 5 favorite music artists in your reply.

A little bit about BreakThru Radio: BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency. In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru Radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to independent music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres, in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers on-demand access to its shows and on-the-go iPod capability.

In today's overly saturated music market, it is often difficult for listeners to find what they are looking for. BreakThru radio has the solution. Listeners are given access to music from an expansive and diverse pool of genres in addition to an innovative comedy platform. Offering the best in music from around the world, BreakThru Radio brings its listeners tracks recorded exclusively for the BTR audience from our live studio. BTR offers, on-demand access to its shows, and on-the-go iPod capability. BreakThru Radio is "Radio Rediscovered" in a world where FM is out of frequency.

Compensation: TBD
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2549427920

There's that pesky little illegality of demanding interns to have "prior experience" in the industry. Not cool & it's illegal.

Just come out & say you want volunteers or a barter arrangement. That is at least honest & not insulting people by calling them "interns."

Still have more things to rant about but wouldn't you agree that these people should be punched in the face? Not me but someone. If I went around punching people in the face, I'd never have time to do anything else.

Make-A-Wish Requests & Famous People

2011-11-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

I've got a LOT going on in life right now and I swear I'll be writing on it. Some of it is still developing but there are issues that have been sitting for ages that I simply haven't addressed. Here's one now.

You may have heard about the Barefoot Contessa refusing to meet a Make-A-Wish kid who has lukemia. This article talks about what is off limits for charity wish-granting & a little bit on this issue.

When I heard about this, I remember thinking the Barefoot Contessa was a bitch. I kind of still do (and I've got no interest in that realm) but when I read the comments section, it got me to thinking a bit on the issue.

Apparently, one commenter knew a terminal patient who asked to meet Reba McEntire & her staff or whomever plans her meetings scheduled multiple patients. The person relaying this story got mad because (in this person's opinion) it was a feeling that the patient was not all that special and got neglected in this process. Another person pointed out that celebrities are super busy & don't have time for meeting sick kids. One even said outright that they hated the presence of charity wish-granting groups because it was extortion, particularly against famous people & anyone else who'd feel disparate impact from negative publicity.

Reading that, I do have to agree with the point on extortion. Think about it: if you're an actor (the most visual people in the industry & let's fact it, the most likely candidates to get asked about meeting sick individuals), you already have to do a ton of traveling, physical endurance tasks & plenty of other things that make that life not so glamorous if you're the one living it. Should we essentially make famous people go meet those sick kids from Make-A-Wish? I think it'd rub me the wrong way being friends with people who have a shot at being well known or have some acclaim already if the press were calling them a heartless piece of garbage for not wanting to meet little Johnny Sick Kid.

There's a credible argument here: if you'd not want you or your friends being trashed for politely declining to meet someone or date them, why should it make a difference what one's health is like or if it's their "wish?" Isn't in a bit similar to not giving money to the panhandler who's using their child or physical condition to beg for money? What about not wanting to date someone who has threatened to kill himself/herself if you break up with him/her? Should you be held responsible for someone else's condition? That negative publicity aspect is a tough one & it is something to think about.

The other side of it is, of course, "But Sick Kid is DYING & meeting XYZ famous person is his/her dying wish!! It would be so nice for the person to do it."

Yeah, it would. But should it be a mandatory requirement? Should people be forced to be altruistic? What if that celebrity lost a family member to that child's disease & has bad feelings associated with it? Isn't it kind of shitty to expect some famous person who had to watch a family member/friend/loved one waste away from cancer meet some kid who has cancer? What about potential emotional trauma? Bet you didn't think about that, did you?

And why would you want to meet someone who's going to have all those bad memories associated with your condition? That will likely make your meeting horrid. And what if the celebrity is only doing it for publicity? That's not the least bit altruistic to me. That celebrity could also end up with a crazy line of people claiming every kind of terminal illness known to man just to meet him/her. Do you, as the person's rep, want to deal with it? I'm not sure I would.

Personally, I think people should be kind and give things with a pure heart. I certainly don't go around doing things I don't want to or just so I look good. For instance, I'm not doing Monday Night Law solely for CLE or to drum up good PR for my company. I have pure intentions behind it, chiefly having come from the situation myself & having family who could well end up in the same situation as those seeking services. I'd really not want kindness from someone who's just trying to get good PR or could care less about what I'm doing or my condition if I were ill.

At the same time, though, I think the right to say no is important. Do we blame the ex of a suicide victim for breaking up with the person? Do we bash people who refuse to give change to panhandlers using their kids, disabilities, sob stories as an inducement to give? I haven't seen that confrontation on the subway & you'd best believe if someone yelled at me for it, I'd point out that my sister has a young son & I know handicapped people personally who would never go out in public with their hands out + disabilities/kids/other sympathy ploy on display begging for money.

For those of you in the industry, what are your thoughts? Should we beat up on famous people for wanting to live their own lives & get a little rest sometime? Should people be forced to meet kids because of their terminal illnesses? What about meeting healthy kids or even healthy adults? Are they less worthy?

I realize a lot of people believe children are more important than grownups (just ask a radical pro-lifer) but I disagree & hope there are more who feel the same.

A One Woman Crusade to Finally Get FiOS at My House

2011-11-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

My husband expressed an interest in going into politics. Today, it seems that he's going to get his first taste of it. Here's why:

We've had Verizon for our home service since we moved to NYC in 2007. When we signed up, they had a local call center for issues, our landline & Internet rarely (if ever) went out & there was some professionalism there.

Since the massively over hyped Hurricane Irene blew through here, we lose our landline service & our Internet gets patchy every single time it rains. This has even happened on a mere drizzle. More than 3 times, we attempted to get a tech.

This means being connected to a foreign call center in India, where apparently they don't bother putting your problem as what it actually is. Instead, they put something that isn't the real problem. They also refuse to list the numbers as you tell them to. God forbid anyone in that section is allowed to use his/her own brain!

In our case, the representatives there put our issue as "no dial tone." Then, whenever our line came back, we'd get an automated phone call cancelling the tech appointment. We immediately called foul on it since that automated phone call continues nonstop until you do something about it.

Right after the hurricane, our phone line was out for about a week. A tech was scheduled on Saturday but because we don't have access to the building's backyard (this is city living for you) & our landlord wasn't around, they could not get back to look at it. An appointment was scheduled days later & we drove out to see family on Sunday. Unbeknownst to anyone, the tech showed up again on Sunday. That time, the landlord was able to let the person back there to fix the problem.

Three days later, when it rains, we lose our service again. This has continued in a pattern that proceeds, without fail.

Now, being The Angry Redheaded Lawyer, you know I'm not having that shit! I don't pay for things I didn't use or get & I call up to get bill credits. We've gotten quite a few because of all this. I will continue to do so since apparently, Verizon refuses to maintain their own equipment. At least the people in billing aren't asses about it & agree with my point on not paying for something you didn't even get.

More recently, my husband spoke to a tech who refused to come out after we'd waited all day for him (the call came at 5 p.m., the absolute latest time the tech was supposed to show up & after we'd had to change our plans for this visit). The tech then told him that because the company is spending money on FiOS, they aren't spending money on copper wiring (which we have since they've still not put in it despite telling us we'd have it "soon" even back to 2007). Essentially, we've been told "Fuck you! You don't have FiOS so we refuse to give you quality service."

Bill credits aren't bad but we'd like our service fixed & functional instead of this degraded mess that will likely go out for weeks if we get a winter like the one we had last year.

As this problem has continued, I decided to go higher up the chain & spoke to folks in the Executive Customer Service section. They seem to be more competent + have that link to people who can do something. Because of this and other departments I've dealt with, I'd rather keep what I have. I don't handle rudeness or incompetence & I'll pull the lawyer card out on that in a heartbeat. Plus, I have to keep my landline because my mother doesn't trust digital phone or cell service (look at what happens to it in a major crisis) & I don't want the entire planet to be able to reach me that easily. I do work in the entertainment business & I do have the right to be left alone + not hassled by strangers. I also have to provide contact information to the state licensing folk & no way will I give out a personal cell number for public use.

Since this issue appears to be above everyone else's heads (after an honest conversation with another rep today), we've decided it's time to take more steps. It was suggested that we call a commission that deals with utility services along with local politicians. It's nice that Election Day is right around the corner b/c I will remember rudeness & make damn sure to vote any rude asshole types out of local office the minute their term is up. Remember, you're known by the company you keep. If you're keeping patronizing scum around, that lends credence to my belief that you're in it for the bribes & not for everyone else. Same goes for indifference & not following up. If I have to chase you, then what are you really doing in your elected office? I'd say the answer is "nothing".

Calling the community board, we learned that we don't have a neighborhood association. Since this is hardly the only issue that seems call for an active, vocal neighborhood board that's not taking platitudes or shit (talk is cheap & unless you're taking action, I know your apology is an insulting attempt to try & patronize me, which won't work), it seems we're going to have to form it ourselves + find some people we know around here who may be living here a while & are interested. I think building owners are important for this since that says we matter, have a direct impact on things & a societal voice it behooves you to listen to.

Also, I think political figures & higher ups will respond more favorably to those people since they understand the scope of those types of jobs. Being able to speak someone's language or understand what their challenges are helps in persuasion. I've won arguments with businesses before because of knowing legal concepts & how the law applies them. You can be effective without resorting to profanity or personal attacks. I know I certainly can be.

Thus, this project begins. I also made sure to contact The Consumerist & will have to go to more media outlets if I don't like the response I get.

For those who may be thinking I'm overreacting, remember a few things:

1. Nothing ever got done by sitting on your ass and complaining. If people hadn't gotten off their asses, we'd still have slavery, no labor standards whatsoever & abortion would probably still be illegal (which it's not despite the anti-choice hypocrites).

2. Life/God/Karma helps those who help themselves. The mediocre & average folk don't get the rewards of risk takers & loud mouths who form coherent plans, then act on them.

3. Lastly, you try living in this situation & see how you like it. If you can get the resources for action, you take them. If you also are a high level exec, it's unconscionable not to tell some higher up in a company you're doing business with that they are shooting themselves in the foot. If I were a higher up in a business dealing with the public, I'd want to know about such things (sane, rational, reasonable things NOT asinine bullshit from some crank or freeloader who wants to get freebies or ask for a million bucks). Thank God I'm the legal counsel so I can call out the BS when I see it!

Keep reading for updates. It's sure to get interesting.

"Racist" Halloween Costumes & Who's "Too Old" to Trick or Treat

2011-10-30T22:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I got invited to a Halloween party tomorrow night that is free. This after I went to a Studio 54 themed event on Friday night in Queens wearing a short dress and having nothing but pantyhose between my legs & the cold wind outside. Takes a level of chutzpa to do that, let me tell you!

Anyhow, after a little thinking with limited resources, my reserve of costumes & considering the cold weather tomorrow night (banning anything sexy or skimpy), I decided to go with the scariest costume of all that is also somewhat accurate & intellectual: a Christian fundamentalist. Not a mainstream Christian, mind you but one of those whackjobs that religious folk I know would shake their head at & say "God help us all!"

I have to go get materials to make a sign tomorrow & I need to see if I've got a Bible lying around but otherwise, you have my husband to thank for this one. I tried on this old dress I have recently to make sure it still fit me & he told me it looked too frumpy on me. It's a long sleeved one with a longer skirt that looks like something you'd wear at a church. As fundies are hardcore about clothing length & not showing stuff, I figured this outfit was perfect. I'd also never get to wear it under normal circumstances. Sadly, I thought of dressing as that woman who complained about Married with Children in the '80s but since I'm a redhead, that doesn't work.

You haven't heard about the best touch though: I'm also going to wear devil horns since I believe these sorts of fundamentalists are just as bad as any "sinner" they dare to condemn. It's a reaction to religious hypocrites.

If you're a religious person who objects to this outfit? First off, maybe you should be taking these fundies to task as a religious person. They are reflecting badly on you, after all. Second, I've earned the right to attack this contingency considering I lived in a religious household, went to a religious school as a child & had to deal with this crap due to my years of living in the South. By the way, my husband has earned this right as well. Third, if you're not a fake Christian, you shouldn't get offended because I'm not attacking you. If you're offended, maybe you should take a good hard look at yourself and see if maybe you're upset because I've hit too close to home & you don't like admitting that you are a hypocrite.

On that note, there are many costumes that are offensive that I would never do. For one thing, I wouldn't go around in black face or dressing as a poor person. Some foreclosure law firm in Buffalo apparently did this for last year's Halloween party.

I think this theme is completely tacky, lacks in class and is horrible PR for the law firm. If you asked me to participate in such a theme, I'd refuse since I do know people who are in dire economic straits. I also think these fuckers are just making themselves into targets for angry people who were victims of the housing crisis, especially the big name partners at this firm. Stuff like this is just stupid to do. I wouldn't feel the least bit of sympathy if these morons ended up on the business end of a shotgun held by some disillusioned individual they personally ousted from their home of however many years.

Believe me, no rational person would feel sympathy for this trash either (and yes if you would suggest insulting people who are in a victim position with respect to your business, especially as an attorney who presumably should know better & is held to higher standards of ethics then you are trash).

That being said, however, I don't think it's necessary to outlaw such themes or ban certain costumes like this group proposes to do.

For one thing, let's have a sense of humor, okay? Some people most definitely fit that stereotype & trust me, the self-aware ones aren't offended. You know, dressing as a hooker says something about me as a woman. Should I get all pissy & demand that no one ever dresses that way again?

Before you get all high & mighty on racial stereotypes & "white privilege," let me give you some perspective on "white privilege": that shit exists for RICH, white people (oftentimes, males)!!!!!! Talk to me about how much white privilege I've had when you have people assume you don't need financial aid because of YOUR race, ignoring your family's financial condition or how much need you actually have. That has happened to me.

How much white privilege have the injured Occupy protestors been recipients of? I saw white girls getting maced & white men being dragged off in handcuffs as well as roughed up by the police. Take your head out of your ass & see the world around you as it really is.

Stop being a martyr & making assumptions you don't know shit about. Live incognito as a white person for a few months if you want to make these grand proclamations about how easy white people have it, especially if they don't come from money. Until then, shut up! You don't hear me making proclamations about your personal experiences or how easy your life is. I certainly could but since I know a fair amount of people outside my race & don't view them as my "token" friend from XYZ group, I know a basic truism: someone else always has it worse than you do.

Second, I strongly think if you get easily offended by something as simple as a costume you're never going to make it in the real world. You also really ought to save that venom for things like tokenism & inequality for women in the workplace. Go try to solve real problems instead of trying to take away one day in the year people get to blow off steam & be something they wouldn't get to be otherwise (unless, of course, they are actors). You're as bad as the people who force out Christmas from the public realm.

Third, social stigma is a powerful thing. Let's use that instead of direct regulation or forcing retailers to stop selling particular costumes. I remember where groups dealing with illegal immigrants got all offended by illegal alien costumes & tried to get retailers to remove them from the shelves. Maybe these people should spend more time encouraging folk to have loyalties to THIS damn country or getting employers to pay them minimum wage like everyone else so we wouldn't have the pay problems we're having. How about that, huh?

On trick or treating: this story asks "how old is too old?" I say you're never too old. If you feel compelled to go beg for candy, do so. Some adults look like kids because they are short & tiny. Some actors look like high school kids (I've been told I look like a kid though I would hope I don't look younger than college aged).

Plus, you're as young as you feel. Don't let some snotty adult who was 100 when they were 10 tell you what to do! Those jerks probably never take their kids trick or treating in costume or know how to have any fun whatsoever. We call them "killjoys." I think if there were fewer of them, the world would be a much better place.

I heard about nighttime curfews on Halloween night in various places & that also bothers me on a fundamental level, considering my whole history. Read last year's Halloween rant for details on that.

Getting Good Veggies For a Fair Price

2011-10-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

I've been working on video blogs for Mobli lately but don't fear: I will continue to write here. For one thing, some of my rants would take way too much time to do in 1 video. I mean, who's going to watch a 20 minute video of me ranting?

Not to mention getting those out is harder than you'd think. I'm a perfectionist on that sort of thing so I don't stumble on my words or lose my train of thought. One slip up & (for me at least) you have to start again.

I also think you need the literary take on it and I'm not going to start writing out links for viewers to go read & then have to come back to. Doesn't make much sense, does it?

So for now, I'm doing both.

One issue that's really been a thorn in my side is trying to get fresh vegetables at a fair price & in the proper condition. This pisses me off because I happen to like salad. I've actually liked carrots & bell peppers ever since I was a little kid. If you've not read enough of this blog to conclude that I was a strange child (consider how we played Barbie, for instance), that fact should clinch it for you. Didn't grow up in a health conscious, pro-hippie household or anything but yeah, I do happen to like salad.

I also like finding lettuce and other fixings that are actually fit for human consumption.

So I know there's been all the bad crops, seasonal change & the like. I also know about the presence of farmer's markets (and if you can find me one in or near NYC with fair prices for bell peppers, lettuce & the like that is fit for human consumption + doesn't require me to pay a toll to get there, I'm all ears; $2.50+ a lb. for green pepper is NOT fair in my book). I would love to grow my own bell peppers (did so successfully when I was younger) but the problem is, I don't have land for it & if I tried planting anything in my home, the cat would inevitably chew on any plant that grew. He does this all the time with flowers but for some unknown reason, he barely touched any of the cat grass we grew specifically for him.

What do I mean by "fit for human consumption"? Let's see:

1. No lettuce that has brown sogginess outside it! I've actually seen this on heads in the grocery store & it disgusts me. It also makes me not want to continue digging in that lettuce pile for anything good since the rest are probably just like it (or worse).
2. No lettuce with excessive rust discoloration! I know that means the lettuce is old/in the process of going bad. I've sliced it enough myself to know what it means.
3. No wrinkled peppers!
4. No peppers with black spots on them! My husband once got one for me at the store. When I cut it open, it had what appeared to be worms in it. There was whiteness & movement that looked worm like. I still have trauma from that when I slice open a green pepper.
5. No produce with any hit of bugs nearby. No one wants to buy anything that's got fruit flies or anything else on or near it.
6. No rotten produce! I saw black apples being offered for sale just yesterday.

I think there should be some changes in the law, merchant policies or someplace to stop this crap being sold at full price in grocery stores. Do you really think I'm paying $1.99 for a head of lettuce that's got brown sogginess on it? If you do, you're a moron & you're insulting my intelligence. Nice way to encourage shoppers to return to your store! How about a little personal pride?

Just yesterday, I got a pepper that showed no problems on the outside but when I opened it, half of it was black inside. Isn't that gross? So let's also have a rule against produce with hidden nastiness if the store or the seller should have known about it but didn't bother to tell anyone!

There are some locations that I adamantly will not shop at for fresh vegetables because their policies are so lax on many things or I've just seen crud quality anytime I bothered to look. Wal-Mart is one of them. I know all the stories about people buying perishables there only to have them turn very quickly. The meat stories alone are enough for me to distrust their produce. I also remember hearing some horror stories about veggies bought there as well.

So in light of this, I find it very funny that Michelle Obama wants to encourage places to have fresh produce for poor neighborhoods & to make them accessible to all to combat the obesity issue. Maybe she should be making sure these places aren't just pricing them at $1.00 a pound or some reasonable price when the vegetables are turning and slimy. You can find cheap produce in many places but the quality is dubious to say the least (a green market down the street from me is a prime example; unless you get there right when the shipment arrives, you'll be getting rubber peppers and stuff in a condition guides would tell you should be thrown away & not fed to your loved ones).

Those things I mentioned have been present at places I go even when those particular veggies weren't on sale. Sorry, but I shouldn't have to pay $5 a pound for something just to get fresh quality. There needs to be some truth in advertising and basic standards involved. TV dinners & processed food do, in fact, make you sick. My husband & I noticed this most strongly after I started to do my own cooking, coming up with much better food that didn't cause nasty stomach pain after eating it. We also cut out soda & haven't missed it, especially when the prices for that have been sky high.

Now, if you think that means I'm a vegetarian or only eat organic, you're wrong. I've not noticed much positive difference in getting organic food & at the end of the day, I am frugal.

I don't view buying organic food or even getting fresh produce as true choices for most people. A choice isn't real if you can't afford it or you can't carry it out without some excessive cost. If I can't go recycle the special lightbulbs in a convenient way (since you can't directly thrown them in the trash b/c of the mercury in them), how would I possibly be able to make that choice? The "choice" has been made for me!

The "choice" is being made for others if organic items cost too much money or all the produce sold someplace is moldy, wrinkled, covered in bugs, rotten, etc. There's no real choice if the farmer's market is 2 hours away or you don't have a car to drive there or you have to pay tolls or who knows what else. You can call these explanations excuses but I call them being pragmatic & realistic about human behavior. When you don't make something convenient, accessible to all, and affordable within everyone's budget, you aren't going to get the result you want.

So while I think it's a noble goal to make fresh produce & healthy foods accessible to all, you have to do a little more than tell the local bodega to sell them. You have to have them priced fairly. You have to insist on a quality standard for what people sell & punish people for violating it. Otherwise, people are going to choose the fast food hamburger over the chemically sprayed meat that will go bad tomorrow any time.

For you harpies who want to scream about health care costs & environmental damage, why don't you get off your overindulgent behinds & start subsidizing the costs & hassles so people WILL make those choices? How about you employers start offering fresh, healthy food at a price equal to the junk or at a comparable rate? How about those of you spending your money on organic food or "going green" start an organization or fund one that tries to make these true options for people with less money? Until then, you can shut the hell up & kiss my ass.

The Vlogging Channel I Mentioned

2011-10-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

Did my first installment on my vlog channel at Mobli.com today. Go here to see it.

I'll be maintaining both of these but stay tuned for more. Keep in mind I'm still trying to get the hang of my iPhone.

My Vlog Channel & The Great Phone Debacle

2011-10-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

So, I finally have my new iPhone 4. I wasn't originally going to get one. The iPhone 3 was free for me in an upgrade but in order to take advantage of a vlogging opportunity I was given, I needed an iPhone 4 (or I could have gotten an Android or Blackberry phone but hubby was getting an iPhone, I've heard mixed reviews about everything including people telling me about the massive problems they had w/other smartphones & we were at the point of total information overload).

Seriously, one of the hardest things to deal with is getting a cell phone whether it's a smartphone or not. I also was shocked at the full technological leap of the smartphone vs. my basic phone that served me well since 2009. To give you an idea of how behind on tech I tend to be, the phone I upgraded from in 2009 was the one I got in 2003 before starting law school. Before that, I had 2 pay-as-you-go phones (the result of being poor in college & before that, the result of my parents' credit rating since I was a minor when I got my first cell phone in high school; I would have had to pay a $500 deposit to get one, which made me mad since it wasn't based on MY freaking credit). I needed a cell in high school since I was in after school events, didn't have a car & the office tended to close so I had the choice of hoping I had change for 1 of 2 pay phones to call my mom or having a cell phone so I could call for free + not have to wait for others to finish so I could use one of the phones.

So, I'm not kidding when I say having an iPhone of any type is a technological leap. I'm still learning how to do things on it. If anyone knows how to upload your own ringtones & pictures onto the phone from a computer, would you let me know? I want to figure that one out & no store is going to have songs I like in the format I want as a ringtone. I also have some sweet pics I'd like to have in the phone, particularly to ID people who call me or just b/c they're so darn unique & fascinating. I also adamantly refuse to pay for music I already own. I may be a lawyer but I do agree with the principal of not obeying laws that serve no rational purpose or basis.

Laws against murder/rape/child pornography = good.

Laws charging people $750,000 for downloading ONE song off a file sharing service, even if they own it on another medium like a CD = bad & likely funded by lobbyists. Screw them! It's called "create a better mousetrap & stop relying on an outdated & obsolete business model." There's a well-known truism in business: adapt or die.

As I continue to write this blog, you'll also get to see some video rants & maybe an adventure or two if you go to Mobli. Mobli is a website where users can create their own video channels & create their own series of vlogs. You can find me under "angryredheadlaw". They have some good reviews as well as some celebs there. Check it out!

By the way, that pic is darker on purpose. I had that taken when I was on a VIP tour of the Empire State Building recently. We got to go on the 103rd floor, which is closed to the public. That pic is from me being there. Warning: if you're scared of heights (which I'm definitely not), you don't want to be there. They also aren't kidding when they tell you it's windy & you could get hurt if you aren't careful.

Now, some words about AT&T. I'm not big on giving endorsements but they really went above & beyond so I have to give them a special shout out for this whole thing.

Originally, I'd considered going with Credo Mobile. Do you know that company? Their big platform is that they give money to progressive causes while Verizon, AT&T & the other major carriers are giving their money to whackjob Republican candidates + causes that really shouldn't be funded like legislation to outlaw abortion and turn anyone who isn't a white, rich male into a second class citizen.

While I'm not a supporter of this type of legislation & definitely don't support any Republican candidate (or really anyone for that matter, but especially Republican whackjobs), I do understand why a major corporation would contribute to Republican campaigns. They are, after all, more business friendly than Democrats as history will show. People also tend to identify with those who are like them so I'm sure major corporate heads see the Republicans as more like them.

Personally, I think these companies would be better served giving money to moderate Republicans who aren't obsessed with evoking God in every public appearance or show themselves to be national jokes on TV (Sarah Palin, anyone?). I can respect moderates since they at least seem to have some common sense unlike the whackjobs. It does seem like someone lives up there & they have their faculties in order.

However, that decision is between these corporations & their lobbying committees. These people would either hate to see me coming or would love me insisting on carefully researching candidates, their platforms on significant issues, public perception, etc. so the giving was useful instead of money wasted + we weren't considered whackjobs/kooks/bigots by association. Give me a nice common sense person who stands by what they say, isn't a closeted or open bigot & actually cares about moving the nation into modern times! Someone who uses LOGIC, not religion or political correctness/popularity concerns, to make decisions. I'm not obsessed with the party, as you may recall. I think the person would need to be a political outsider & would definitely have to be someone who's actually had hard times & still remembers what that experience is like. You'd need to murder the religion & party obsessed morons in society to get that person elected but I can dream, can't I?

That being said, let me tell you about an incredible irony with Credo Mobile. They claim to be "progressive," right? Do they realize that potential customers may not have sterling credit? That stupid loan crap is apparently enough reason for me to get "extra screening" on my application to get a cell phone, despite that being a debt that's at least $800 more per month a typical monthly cell phone payment. I was also told they didn't do deposits if you wanted to be their customer: it is either they approve your credit or reject you. Does anyone else find that a bit fucked up? How many people have student loan debts? How many lawyers have PRIVATE student loan debt (remember those "fuck you, pay me" plans?)? You're not motivating me to sign with you if you're going to give me static over a "fuck you, pay me" loan & base a decision to have a contract with me based on being too destitute to pay that ginormous payment every month!

Why not base decisions on how I've handled other LIKE accounts like cell phone companies? If my record was bad with another cell phone provider, a rejection or extra screening would be fair.

Since I have been with AT&T for years, was currently due for an upgrade, have never had a customer service issue with them (they've also corrected problems promptly when I had them) & wouldn't have to speculate on if I'd be able to get my phone or not, I chose to stay there since I figured "if it's not broken, don't fix it." Plus, AT&T had a better selection of phones. My husband wasn't particularly happy with Credo's phone selection & I didn't like the negative reviews I read about their service.

Credo's "extra screening" that they couldn't give me an instant decision on made the choice to upgrade with AT&T very easy. AT&T also made that choice easier when I found out I'd have to exchange the iPhone 3 I ordered for myself for an iPhone 4. The reps I spoke to were helpful, seemed to give a damn about my problem and gave viable solutions. I also reordered accessories that I'd ordered in my initial shipment that I was instructed to reject so I could effect the exchange (since I thought you couldn't take items you ordered online to a store to get them exchanged & didn't want to have to pay full price for all the accessories).

My initial order arrived on Thursday morning. My post office didn't bother making it available to me until Friday morning. The hatred for my local post office is legendary & well deserved: more on that in a future post.

To make a long story short, my post office's incompetence actually helped me for once. On Saturday morning, I had to go see if my package had been on the path to being returned & I learned that I could still use it + do the exchange in a store. No one had marked my package, even though they were supposed to the day before.

I was able to go to the AT&T store yesterday & get my items exchanged + both phones set up. Despite it being crowded when I went in, I was actually helped pretty quickly, got above & beyond service + really appreciated the people who helped me out. I definitely felt like AT&T cared about having my business & valued me as a customer. If you can do that, I'm a very happy customer, will recommend you to friends & will make damn sure that the people who helped me are publicly recognized since that sort of thing seems to be a rarity these days.

So now I'm an archetype: the iPhone owner. As you know, I have mixed feelings on it though aspects of having a smartphone have helped make things easier. For one thing, I have an app that tells you when the subway is supposed to arrive at your stop. It's proven to be accurate as well. Second, texting is actually helpful if you're in a subway station & need to meet up with someone or you can't hear anyone on your phone because of noise or bad reception. I'll still shudder at the huge bill increase but if the service keeps up & people continue to solve problems we have effectively, I'll be a happy camper. Beats the battle we're having with Verizon!

Everyone Always Says "Give Me Money!"

2011-10-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

So, if you've read this blog & know my stances on things you know that I'm not someone who came from privilege. You know that I actually had to (gasp) WORK to get where I am. I didn't have parents, friends or most importantly, money to get me places. Much of what I've been able to do was based on my own abilities, good fortune and some smart people who saw a spark in me.

For instance, I'm still working on that vlogging opportunity but I found out I'll have to get an iPhone 4 instead of an iPhone 3 for it. Now, I'll have to pay about $100 for the iPhone 4 & while I'm able to afford it I've been having a moral conflict on getting one. How come, you might ask?

Well, I feel a bit decadent about spending $100 on it. I also feel like I'll become a cliche of an elitist since the newest model just came out this week. I'm also not an early adapter or even a present time adapter: I'm a late adapter, God damn it! This ruins my concept of myself as a late adapter & is a cruel irony in my book.

However, to reconcile this I've told myself that maybe I should treat myself once in a while & stop living like a miser. I tend to be very much in that "live like a student" mindset though I'm certainly not the cheapest or most frugal person ever.

I do have my limits: no reused sandwich bags or compost piles. There will also be flush toilets anyplace I live. I'd also consider hiring someone to pick up my husband's comics if we had $ for it. No living somewhere unsafe & no Dollar Store underwear.

I think this is foreshadowing for if I make real $ & everyone having to yell at me about spending some of it vs. living as though going out to dinner one evening fucks up my entire budget for the month (this was true when I was a student). If people don't do it, I could easily see myself becoming one of those old people who lives in abject poverty only to die with an estate worth hundreds of thousands of dollars & up. I do veer more to that direction that spendthrift territory.

Today, I was listening to a telephone seminar on a topic I found interesting. However, I'm to the point of not wanting to go to free programs on anything pertaining to the entertainment industry or creative things in general. Let me explain.

Every single damn time I go to a free program on just about anything, you always without fail hear a presenter telling you you MUST have money to do things. You have to pay for publicity, rent a theater, get an agent, etc.

Now, while I do agree that you get what you pay for and quality does have a price the whole process of that just bothers me. Then, when someone makes a money grab afterwards, it really hits the point home for me: If you don't come from money, you shouldn't even bother improving yourself or your life.

"Don't bother writing a book, creating a 1 person show, writing a film, going to a good college, anything. You don't come from money so who cares if you have any natural talent or skill!"

That's what I feel like telling someone to pay for stuff is implicitly saying. This is also an ethic you'll find all through law school. If you ask me, a chimp with a million dollars could be on law review b/c that chimp could afford study aids & anyone without a million dollars can't, regardless of any natural intelligence or ability. Coincidentally, this is the primary reason I think the class ranking system in law school is utter bullshit & that people hiring for jobs seem to ignore this reality in hiring.

If you're going to tell someone they need to have wads of cash to do something, why not tell people HOW to make money? Saying "go beg to family" isn't an option for everyone. If I had that, I wouldn't have anymore student loan debt.

How about a seminar telling someone how to get a benefactor? Or how to make money without demeaning yourself (no telling someone to work as a stripper or turn tricks)? While we're at it, how about telling someone how to make money without breaking the law or demeaning themselves?

Any chucklehead can say "Oh, you need money to do that." How about suggestions on ways to get benefactors or who to network with so we can get around those hurdles? How about suggestions on networking events where we might meet these people?

I find "Get $10,000 [or some other high ass crazy amount you'll never get in this lifetime unless you live with your parents or start breaking the law]!" or "Ask Mommy & Daddy for $," to be as useful as the average law school career services center (and you know how useful they are if you've been to law school; if you haven't, their helpfulness is nil at best).

This whole attitude that you must have money to do anything doesn't inspire someone who came from nothing to dream or bother working on those dreams. Nor does it encourage one to do anything pro-social (i.e. work an honest job, get an education, do something that helps society vs. harms it). Hell, I think it encourages people to become teen parents, sell drugs, never do anything beyond whatever sector of the economic ladder they were born into.

Is the US a fiefdom or can one actually get anywhere? What do you think? I'll say this: if I believed I was never going to do better than where I came from, I'd have killed myself long ago after taking out my oppressors.

General Musings Part 27

2011-10-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

So, now I've got more stories to do mini-rants on. Here goes:

Tell me, why doesn't this shock me at all? And why do idiots continue to encourage women who are unprepared, irresponsible & in no way fit to be parents to continue to pop out babies? Why are legislators in places like Kansas and other states where they're trying to outlaw abortion not publicly castigated in their own home states & areas for being utter & total morons? If I were one of the psychologists who did this study, I would want to smack some sense into these people. Granted, I'm always wanting to smack sense into people though.

For instance, people who believe in "the rules" of relationships. Seems this recent study blows some of your theories out of the water. I'm not so sure we could say it's due to modern times or if it's just that the things they debunk just weren't good ideas to start with. I'll go with #2 myself. On the subject, I recently decided on my first vlog topic. Look for it in the coming week or so; I'm determined to get the damn smartphones ordered before Wednesday. We're at "enough is enough" with those.

Now, this bitch apparently apologizes for her harsh remarks. I call her a bitch for a couple reasons:

1. I saw a few episodes of her show Confessions of a Matchmaker (I believe that's what it was called. It was set at her agency in Buffalo, NY) & that's how she came off.

2. She claimed redheads were second class citizens & ugly compared to blonds & brunettes. A colleague of mine at the scam TV network told me about this & said she thought it was a load of crap since my hair's pretty + it violated her experiences. I should mention my colleague is a model.

Where's your apology to natural redheads, you bitch?!?!? I'm still waiting! I think she's jealous of redheads since one must have caught the eye of her man or caused some kind of horrid experience that she's not recovered from. Don't blame genetic reality because you can't measure up or aren't in a class by yourself; try improving YOURSELF. Funny but I'm pretty sure I could find millionaires who'd threaten to kill me if I dyed my hair & who'd probably tell me the same things most other people do about my looks. I'm sure some of them would also want a word with the guys I went to school with who declared me ugly & ran like Hell from me.

The biggest reason for my venom here? I could swear she had reddish hair when I saw her on that earlier show. Don't blame us because you couldn't hack it in our world.

Now, as for reasons to be glad you aren't famous, I beg to differ on some of these:

1. Some celebs do whatever the hell they want & could care less about the press. Some, in fact, make it their mission to fuck with the paparazzi. Personally, I'd do that if I ended up famous. The people close to me would know what was up so it would be an ongoing inside joke among my inner circle & me.

I'd love messing with people like TMZ or tabloids. They're vultures, as we've seen a billion times.

I also respect celebs who give the metaphoric middle finger to the press & the public on matters such as this. I ended up having to do that when I was getting tormented by gossips who were as vicious & pervasive as tabloid reporters. I felt like a mini-celebrity & that was enough; the experience is probably why I'm highly protective of friends who work with celebrities or celebrities who are my friends.

2. Some celebs don't have to diet. Heather Locklear was known for not having to do that. I certainly don't diet now & finding clothes to fit me is a challenge. If I DID diet? I'd have to buy from the children's section or would end up being taken to some eating disorder clinic since people would think I was starving myself.

So yes, some people can eat junk food & that includes (gasp) chocolate cake! Heck, I probably should eat chocolate cake so I don't get thinner.

3. Pimples are nothing. They have make-up for those. If they can cover tattoos on set, pimples are no problem. Heck, Katy Perry & other famous people have been making $ from doing Proactiv commercials. Admitting to having skin blemishes (even presumably) certainly isn't harming them.

Being fat? Yeah, that's an issue but you do have $ for trainers & plastic surgery. The average person doesn't.

So as for reasons to be glad you aren't famous? I can come up with better:

1. You get to have a private life.

2. You aren't always getting photographed, especially if you don't want to be "on" that day.

3. You don't walk in with heavy baggage known by everyone. At least if you're the average person, you may be prejudged but you can go to another city or another profession & not get that. If you're famous, you don't get that luxury.

4. People don't want to date you or reject you b/c of your career. Thank God I'm married & don't have to worry about dating while working in this field. That would make life truly suck for me. It's hard to find someone who's devoted to YOU & not your star power or your industry reputation + its perks. Just like #3, it's harder when everyone knows all about it vs. only one segment of the population (one town, industry, whatever).

5. You can give people the benefit of the doubt. Even working in the business & not actually being the star out front, you still have to wonder what one's angle is. It's why I've said my friends will probably end up being just rich people or industry peers. There's less on the line if you're not famous; famous people can't just go somewhere else & start over like the average person can. With the Internet, it's even harder for them to hide their past though some average people may have the same problems.

Speaking of celebrities, my elitism may be showing here shortly. Apparently, Penn Badgley who is on Gossip Girl (remember I don't watch the show despite doing that extra gig there) decided to join the Occupy Wall St. protest.

Okay Penn, you've pissed me off by calling these protests "cheesy." First off, do you think the 1st Amendment is "cheesy?" Do you even know what the 1st Amendment is all about?

You most likely wouldn't have a job if we didn't have a 1st Amendment because your show wouldn't be on the air. How much controversy has been reported on Gossip Girl over the years? I may not watch it but I do remember the stories & do recall the parental outcry over some of your story lines (like the threesome episode).

Second, do you think the occupation of attorney is "cheesy?" Because the basic fundamentals of being an attorney to start with is ensuring that everyone has EQUAL access in society. That includes civil rights. I'm sure you like having an entertainment lawyer, do you not (this presumes you have one since clearly you don't have respect for my profession if you're making such remarks about peaceful protests)? At the very least, I'm sure you like that they exist in the industry to protect you & other actors from breaches of contract or abusive set conditions while you're working. If you don't, you go right ahead & see how you're treated when there are no attorneys in the picture & contracts are only enforceable by the party with the most money. You can have millions but if the opposing party has billions, you're just like the 99% dealing with the 1%.

For the record, if you hire me for entertainment services & then make a public statement like this, I won't be your attorney anymore + will share these insights with you.

Third, do you think standing up to the NYPD is "cheesy?" What are your thoughts on these blatant intimidation tactics (which is what they are, pure & simple)?

Free tip to you & others making more $ than sense in public: when these protests start getting violent (and with the NYPD white shirts keeping this shit up combined with the lack of immediate access to the guilty parties, they certainly will), you will be on the list of targets for rage & harm. Flaunting your wealth & "I'm better than you" status by calling the protests "cheesy" (nobody twisted your arm to join in, Penn or you should have stood up to it), blaming Obama for them or making fashion critiques/bemoaning lack of leadership & other nonsense taking away from the issue is likely to get you injured in some way. I foresaw this type of uprising for years & years (and you can read back in this blog if you doubt this). Ignoring & belitting this type of force will lead to violence.

See, if these corporate types had been smart, they'd have made damn sure to leave people enough money to live meaningful lives & consume so they'd not have idle time to express outrage & protest against them. Since they were too stupid to do that, they're just going to have to face the consequences. You shut down people's voice & they'll be violent just because they feel they won't be heard in any other way.

Okay, enough with that tirade. On to more articles.

This was interesting to me since it was concerning teen suicide due to homophobia. I'm also reminded of a PSA I saw on Cartoon Network on bullying where they told kids to get an adult involved & if the adult did nothing, to keep going to them or find someone who would do something.

So what do you do if it's involving homophobia & the school is in the middle of Bigotville, USA? I feel as an adult it's my duty to call someone a spineless piece of garbage if they are allowing bullying to happen toward anyone. Considering I lived it (bullying not accusations of being gay though apparently people tried starting that rumor), I do have a bit of insight on it. It seems like in those situations, you do need the power of litigation to compel action.

Now, for more schoolroom idiocy. Who else finds this whole argument asinine? Let's discourage common courtesy a little more, eh? Maybe this teacher should ride the NYC subway for inspiration on other instances of common courtesy he should discourage in class. Next thing you know, these kids won't tell anyone when a classmate drops some money since that would mean talking in public. If this teacher dropped a $50 bill in class & no one said anything when someone else took it, it would sure teach him a lesson, huh? I certainly wouldn't tell him.

Finally, I'm happy to see this & annoyed that the federal government has the gall to try to challenge it.

If someone goes to the Supreme Court, I'd love someone to ask "What good is federal law on the subject when the federal legislators have been bought by corporate America & refuse to enforce the laws? What good does it do when they're too busy trying to kiss ass in Latin America instead of protesting the CITIZENS of THIS country? For that matter, what good does it do when they're kissing the asses of foreign leaders instead of protecting permanent residents & others who aren't going to be welcomed back to their countries of origin as full citizens?" I say until these countries give Americans the same rights as foreigners get in this country, they have no cause to say a word when the US bothers to enforce its immigration laws. They should also make up their minds: either you want to leave the borders open to illegal terrorists coming in & have no real hassle for citizenship or you want to enforce the damn laws & not give amnesty to criminals who broke the law + whose free pass will discourage those who actually bothered to take the steps to become LEGAL citizens.

See how big the whole Occupy movement is? Yes, you're a fascist & a pig if you oppose peaceful protests in America, the land of the free! I don't give a damn if you agree or disagree with one's views (though if you disagree & aren't in the 1%, I'll hope social Darwinism takes you out).

What the Holy Fuck?!?! Craig's List Ads, Part 1

2011-10-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

I know I've been talking a lot about the recent Wall Street protests. Not because it's fashionable or vogue to do so. If you think I care about being trendy, you don't know me well. I'm a trendsetter, not a trend follower. People tend to follow MY lead on stuff like that & if I follow something, it's usually not popular enough to be a trend.

Since I don't want this blog to become an endless commentary on Occupy Wall Street, I'm going to lighten the mood a little bit. Mind you, I still consider it a deeply serious issue & think any lawyer who doesn't support the basic 1st Amendment right to peacefully protest without the police trying to intimidate you should be kicked out of the bar immediately since they're violating the basic principle of being an attorney in the first place.

I personally have not made an appearance at the protest despite the macing happening in an area I'm well acquainted with since I've been dealing with my own shit & have now caught my husband's cold (communal living: you've got to love it). Life still feels surreal since that whole private student loan situation but I'm moving onward with that smartphone thing since there's legitimate reasons for it, much as I hate spending all the $ on it.

Oh, and if you see my ass at that protest, I'll be in a business suit. Stick that in your crack pipe & smoke it, mainstream media bitches!

But, seriously. You have to see some of these Craig's List ads. Most of these are long gone but the fact that they were there in the first place still shock me. They warrant a "What the Holy Fuck?!?!" Here goes:

Action Movie Seeks Stunt People,Martial
Artists,Military,Hunters,Swat (Manhattan, New York)

Date: 2010-12-26, 11:02AM EST
Reply to: gigs-cawfg-2129585441@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

NOT A PAID GIG.
There is no help for gas.
THIS IS A ZERO BUDGET FEATURE.
This is only for Copy & IMDB Credit.
This is a collaboration.

Action Movie seeks ACTION EXPERIENCED people only who have Improv Dialogue & Method Dialogue ablity.
.
To be shot in January.

Shoot based in N.Y. City, Manhattan.

Storyline: Assassin seeks revenge for the murder of his dad.

Purpose of Movie: Film Festivals.

Stunt choreography & stunt coordination collaborative.
Safety #1.
EACH PROVIDES OWN STUNT GEAR.

Shooting Style:
Director Johnnie To. 'Vengence'.
Any Donnie Yen movie.

Email:
pic of self
action experience
reel link
what your availablity is-weekdays,weekends,daytime,night time,specific days,etc.

Story goes from childhood to the characters in their 20s to the characters in their 30s.
So if you have a sibling or relative that looks like you to play your character when you are a child, that is a plus.
The child needs to be o.k. with doing action.

No set nationalities, races, etc.
Characters- wide array of action skills.

Stunt possiblities:
martial arts
mma
precision driving: vehicles, motorcycles
being: on fire, dragged, hit
high falls
weaponry
high work
stair falls
rappelling
zip line
free running
parkour
underwater
going through: fake walls or fake glass
wrestling
climbing
Location: Manhattan, New York
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 2129585441

Those in the stunt persons' unions: I hope you saw this ad & nailed this idiot. Can we say "unrealistic expectations?"

More sickening content:

MODEL

Date: 2010-12-26, 1:56PM EST
Reply to: gigs-rzh9r-2129795992@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Major Network TV Senior Casting Director, in charge of casting for new television shows, seeks attractive female actresses or models that are in search of starring or supporting roles upon the successful completion of a "casting couch" interview. You MUST CONFIRM your that you understand the meaning of the "casting couch" interviewing process with me (otherwise no reply). Please send a face and full body photo, and CONTACT PHONE NUMBER with your email marked "NBC TV." All appointments will be scheduled via telephone. I look forward to your submissions.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $2000 to $5000 per episode

PostingID: 2129795992

I would hope no legitimate person at any television network, forget a mainstream network, would do this. Surely those people can find model types to sleep with them without having to go on Craig's List & post ads like this. Plus, if you run your TV network that way, I want zero to do with you since clearly you know nothing about talent unless it relates to porno.

Unless I've shot a porno film, I don't want you making decisions about my content, capice? You'd probably tell me to put tits into a courtroom scene if I had a dramatic, dark project (in comedy, asking for bare tits in a courtroom could be a legitimate request). Really, I hope most of those people are happily married or at least free from sordid influences: if they aren't, wouldn't most of the actors & actresses on TV be former hookers & porn stars?? I'm talking 90% vs. whatever number it might be now.

An ad reply I LOVE (the bold within was from the ad):

RE-Videographer -video editing - Reality Show Style (Downtown)

Date: 2011-08-15, 12:42PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-p24hr-2547924120@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

This is the kind of language that get you flag.

off-Broadway musical gay comedy production needs someone to shoot and edit a 3-minute reality TV(do you have any idea how much work take to edit a 3 minute segment?) show style teaser. Shooting last week of August to second week of September, best case scenario two days only. One day for sure September 7, other days must be flexible.
Amateurs or students with past experience and sample work highly encouraged to apply. ( Fishing for people to work for free is not Ok. ) Applicants must have their own equipment. Small project fee depends on experience, range of $400 to $500, (if you have a small budget said that and ask what you can get for that. $500 only buy a freelance with or no equipment) plus 4 tickets to show (you can keep your tickets I am going to see your show many times while I edit this.)

Please e-mail resume preferably with clear photo (So you don't care about my work a longest I am pretty? professional work require professional payment if you require a resume ) and any related items such as links to credited past work or professional website.

Compensation: depends on experience, range of $400 to $500, plus 4 tickets to show

You tell 'em, sister (I don't foresee many men pointing out physical discrimination)! Anyone asking for pictures in my book as a condition to a job interview is saying just that. For the millionth time, we have the Village Voice, the Craig's List personals section & I imagine a trillion adult websites where we can find people willing to give us sexual favors.

This obviously doesn't apply to jobs where one's looks really do matter like casting for films or modeling work but it sure as heck applies to "internships" and "personal assistant" work. Do these people even consider what these ads tell us about their business & how legit they are? To me, it says "Discrimination lawsuit waiting to happen." & "They don't have legal counsel since no lawyer would let them post this."

If you think a company asking for pictures of job applicants for a non-looks based job isn't engaging in illegal discrimination, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

Now, let's talk about this deluded snowflake. Notice the ad's date:

$10,000 - Get My Ex to Date/Love Me Again (New York, NY)

Date: 2011-09-13, 9:51PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-w3xyp-2597529280@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

The love of my life left me many years ago. We are still very close friends. I want him back. It must be done in secrecy and a binding legal contract will be signed. The details will follow. This will absolutely not be easy. It might be the most difficult job you ever have. If you do this, you will receive $500 per month for the 20 months to follow. I will be bound to that as well.

I will not lie about whether we get together. If you do this, we will go to dinner with you as a couple.

Are you up for this task? If so, please email me a VERY detailed description of yourself and the reason you feel you can make this happen.

NO LECTURES PLEASE!
Location: New York, NY
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $10,000

PostingID: 2597529280

This one was so appalling, I had to respond to it. Here's what I wrote:

You can't write a "binding legal contract" on this. This is for personal services & furthermore, a judge would laugh at you if you dared to try suing on something like this.

And since you posted this in a public place (Craig's List), you can't tell people not to lecture you. You opened that Pandora's Box, honey so take the ribbing like a grown up.

Oh, where do we begin with this one?!?!? First off, how about just telling this lost love what's what? If this person says no, that's their problem. I pointed this out to a friend of mine worried about women not liking him. He's hardly a deadbeat or the sort of guy you wouldn't want around your children. If anything, I'd think most women would at least respect him for his ambition & trying to do good things vs. being a deadbeat with no job skills or even problems with drugs or alcohol.

Nobody's better than anyone else & the minute you start thinking your shit stinks less than someone else's is the minute you set yourself up for problems. In literature, we call that hubris. What happened to the folks who had hubris? Bad, tragic things. Want that to be you?

Second, I'm a strong believer in not going backwards. I don't even have friendships with my exes and I'm not sure I'd ever be in a place in life to do that with most of them. My husband feels the same way about his exes. I don't see anything good coming from that. I reconciled with an ex after my brother in law died but that's because he'd treated me with compassion the night I learned about & provided comfort. That was more an experience in closure than a new beginning since we were both moving away; it just showed that you can't go back to yesterday. He fell away before I left for law school & at least that's one ex I can leave alone.

The author of this ad sounds like (s)he only kept being friends with the person with the hope of getting back together. If it didn't happen already, that ship has sailed. Any psychologist would tell you that keeping someone in your life because you want more than they're willing to give is unhealthy. How many people think the author is a woman? I honestly do since it sounds like something the average woman would do.

Third, why the fuck would you degrade & demean yourself for someone who doesn't care? This reminds me way too much of my high school self, who was all too willing to let people shit on her in order to get their friendship, affection & approval. Learned later that kind of thing is for the birds.

That guy I had a massive crush on? Totally reminded me of that, though I wasn't friends with him just to get more. He did treat me as a human being at one time.

If I saw that guy today though, it would be to show him up & say "Boy, did you lose out! You're full of crap since a higher authority than you deems me pretty while you treated me like Dawn Wiener. You'll never be good enough to sit at my table so you can fuck off now." Maybe I'd make an assistant say that & instruct the person to look like (s)he is reading from a piece of paper. That should be even more insulting: someone's assistant telling you this & doing it with no feeling at all. Maybe even a Katy Perry style reaming for millions of fans, which you can read about here.

From life experience, it's not worth it. He should thank his lucky stars I don't have plans to blow his manhood away with a gun. Not every guy I knew can say that.

Finally, I know there are ugly people in the world but no one looks so bad that they have to demean themselves in that way. You could take that $10,000 & go work on yourself. Get a makeover, join a gym, take up a sport, move, go on vacation. Do SOMETHING! Anything has to be better than this plan.

$500 per month could get you some new clothes or membership into a decent gym. Heck, you could hire someone to be your wingman/wingwoman & find out that someone finds you desirable.

It's my fervent & sincere belief that no one should have to change their personality or who they are to find a romantic partner. Maybe some people should tone it down but I think it ultimately comes down to finding the right location, social group, whatever. "Location, location, location" as they say in business.

Changing locations helped me & despite all my protests that I'd never find a "one", I still did. The "one" is someone who accepts you for who you are, nothing more & nothing less. You don't have to change who you are for "the one." If you think you have to, guess what? That person isn't "the one."

Wow, More Reason to Hate Lawyers

2011-10-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

So I've written a bit on the Occupy Wall St. protests in NYC. More people were arrested from it yesterday since it went onto the Brooklyn Bridge. Now, of course I'm not actively participating since I do have a place to live & some incentive to a pro-social existence. Let me tell you, it will be a very dangerous day for mankind as a whole if I don't have that.

I decided to do some researching to see if any other lawyers are really speaking about it or have observations. I go to the National Lawyers Guild website since this group is the one I mentioned that is supposed to be advocating for 1st Amendment protections and helping protestors who are the victims of police brutality. They are also supposed to attend major protests to keep things under control. I actually am not a member because I strongly disagree with their stance on illegal immigration.

Well, do you think I've seen a SINGLE announcement or remark on this on their website? HELL NO! Nor do you see a word about it on the ABA website. If you didn't think the ABA was controlled by big money interests, this is your obvious proof. Yet, I do see this mentioned among the scam blogger crowd, non-traditional media outlets & people I know on social media.

Seems it's a very good thing I don't watch mainstream US media. I did learn that apparently, the Canadian media is covering the story. Good to hear someone is.

Honestly, I stick by my earlier story that it's not going to end well for these defenders of the man or the man himself. However, I'm also truly disgusted with the legal community as a whole.

I don't see a word about any of these attorneys going to help any of the arrested people at the protests. No getting arrested themselves, no donating money, nothing. Maybe some of them should get off their butts, stop whining about their own problems & get "legal experience" by taking on some defense for these people. How many unemployed lawyers are there in NYC? If you believe the reports, there are a TON. This should confirm whose pocket some of these groups are in & should be an obvious answer to any question about why I dislike bar associations & lawyers as a whole.

I think attorneys who aren't even talking about this or acknowledge that The Angry Redheaded Lawyer was right in foreseeing this prove that they only care about being virtual prostitutes for Corporate America. As in, they could care less about advocating for the people or anyone who actually NEEDS legal services but would rather do their best to keep the common person down. Guess what, guys? It affects you as well as any police officer, though I know the police are protected by a strong union & lawyers aren't.

Consider your ethical obligations, being a public servant & all that noise. Seems most attorneys are simply hypocrites. Don't even get me started on politicians. I think I'm going to keep the phrase "political cockroaches" to describe career politicians; that is what they are, right? It's next to impossible to get rid of them & they are a plague. One of my friends wondered what would happen if a member of Congress gave up their high priced salary & medical benefits. Commenters predicted that the person would go MIA or such a bill created for all would die in committee but I'd personally have respect for that person whereas right now, I have none for politicians. For you politicians, you'd better hope I know you from some other context or if you end up in a life-death situation where I'm the only one who can help you, I'll most likely watch you die & not feel very guilty about it.

At least I have other anti-lawyers to talk to who get it since I know most of these whiny attorneys will not (read some comments on ABA stories if you wonder what I mean by that).

Undercover as a "Telemarketer" & How Adults Acting Like Children Ruin Things For Everyone Else

2011-10-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

Just finished a 5 month gig doing follow up marketing calls for law firms that I thought was going to last about 1 month. Guess that tells you someone liked me or my work, huh? I think I was the last person working on the list & still shocked I lasted as long as I did. If those private student loan pricks could be bothered to get with modern times or negotiate with folk instead of wasting money, we'd all be better off.

But aside from that, I vowed after finishing that job that I was going to take a hiatus since it seems jobs like that aren't coming up so much. Very little also fits into my personal situation or background + I've got that list of tasks to perform. I've gotten maybe 1 or 2 done right now but had to add more like getting something that will allow me to create vlogs, which will be linked here (don't worry, it's just more in-person ranting by moi).

The interesting thing about the job I was doing is that it called for someone with an acting background. Since I had both acting and telephone interviewing experience, I made my case to be considered. Guess I was that good & my being an attorney actually helped for once since I started on it pretty quickly. I also got paid promptly & had my travel covered. Even having a laptop helped even though I learned that it's heavy to lug one around.

So, some highlights from my calling law firms:

1. Be selective in your hold music. The best ones are classical or jazz in my book. They seem to be less intrusive, disturbing and annoying (especially if you're on hold for a while). Though one place was cool considering they left me on hold so long I got caught up in listening to "Brick House" by The Commodores. Using The Commodores' greatest hits as hold music? Interesting concept, you have to admit.

The problem in that place though, is the person I was talking to was utterly incompetent. I asked to speak to an individual (who received the company's letter) and it seemed that was far too much to ask.

2. Google Voice is a good product, as long as the reception holds. I like the not having to use my own telephone # aspect of it all. The only downside was when people had fuzz on the line or said they couldn't hear me. That got frustrating at times.

3. I'm shocked to say this but some of the big firm lawyers behaved like human beings. More than I've personally encountered as an attorney, in fact. Interesting that some of these people were more congenial and nicer to me when they thought I was simply a solicitor than they'd probably be if they knew I was an attorney. Reading comments on ABA stories will also give you a very low opinion of attorneys as a group.

I really didn't have to tell many people I was an attorney. I usually did it if someone told me they were busy to establish commonality or with one person, when the attorney actually researched me & found out on his own. I was astounded, though not completely shocked. I wrote the guy explaining my situation and that I can't exactly have my company & go work in some law firm while maintaining that status quo.

If you wish to debate me on that one, then offer me a job paying a suitable wage to cover loan repayment with no restrictions on my company ownership, online persona or any creative work. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut since if you can't get me such a job it's obvious that I'm right.

4. Just like in the entertainment field, you never know just who you're speaking to. For those of you who were rude to me during this job, I've got your profiles bookmarked as people & law firms I'll be avoiding + telling others to avoid. One of these assholes was an entertainment attorney dealing with theater matters. She was a total bitch to me & accused me of being a robot. Believe me, I will mention it if I ever meet her or she deigns to speak to me. I'll also make sure any creative person I know doesn't work with her.

It's my opinion that if you're a bitch/bastard to me (especially if you think I'm some "telemarketer"), then you're a bitch/bastard to everyone. It's the exact same thing in my book as going on a date with someone & being rude to the server: it's a warning sign to stay away from that person. Plus, if you're paying that type of attorney you are implicitly co-opting the behavior. I'll also promise you that such an attorney will never give you prompt follow up, be as prepared in court as (s)he should be & generally further the negative stereotypes of attorneys. In other words, if you want someone who's going to be a good advocate, that person needs to be respectful of you: your desires, viewpoints, what you want to accomplish. If you don't have that, it doesn't matter where the person went to law school. A prick is a prick is a prick.

One person who got in my face during this job & apparently ascribed me to some other person who'd called her even had her LinkedIn profile come up in my "People You May Know" list. It made me wish LinkedIn had a rejection button that listed the following as a reason not to show the profile: This person was an asshole to me & it will be a cold day in Hell before I do anything to benefit him/her. Or even something like: I wouldn't pee on this person if (s)he was on fire.

There's a polite way to decline something & there's being a prick. Generally, there weren't as many pricks as you might think but hanging up on me, getting attitude with me, etc. is going to get you on my shit list pretty quickly.

5. Most law firm secretaries/paralegals are helpful, decent folk. Let them help you. I'm generally nice to these people since I did that job before. The ones who are assholes may want to consider how people are viewing their boss (Guess what? It's not a good impression at all).

6. Great inspiration & material comes from this shroud of mystery in your affairs. Not to mention the fun in deceiving jerkwads only to make them look stupid at some future date. At least, I like this shroud of mystery since it keeps me grounded.

The people who hired me on this knew how to handle a freelancer with a lot of education & experiences properly. Chiefly, by:

1. Paying on time and with a set schedule
2. Not engaging in micromanagement
3. Treating me as an equal, not a slave
4. Not putting pressure on me to get a "yes"

These kinds of things make working a joy & the immaturity you see in the average corporate workplace is a huge reason I have no motivation to bother with it. Sadly, I don't say this at 50 or 60. I'm not even near 40 & I'm that jaded.

These are not hard things to do or unreasonable demands. Why is it that most workplaces don't get that? Oh, yeah because they are filled with douchebags like the guy who wouldn't refill the milk in the fridge despite the fact that the CEO was paying for it. I'm with the CEO on this one: how can people expect to be treated like adults when they want to act like little kids at work? I'd fire you as well or come up with some of the creative punishments other people suggested. How about you?

Some Hard, Cold Reality

2011-09-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

My own personal crisis is a story that continues to be written. I got into lawyer mode on that one pretty quickly and after some panicking, realized that overall I'll be all right regardless. Still deciding on some measures & plans of attack but let's just say my enforcer cred should remain in tact.

Another development that could make this situation crazy: the same day that crisis started, I get a phone call from a producer at "The People's Court" asking me about taking my small claims matter to their show. Now I ended up cancelling it since the person I was suing gave me checks that were good & at that time, hadn't bounced after being in my account for a good 2 weeks. Before, the check bouncing happened after about 3 days or so.

Not so sure I'd want to be on TV for such a thing. After all, I'm not a fan of "reality TV." Wouldn't I be a mega hypocrite to do such a thing?

Since you don't give much detail in small claims court filings (these are not full fledged pleadings with any allegation you want to put in, no matter how absurd or extreme), I can only figure I was contacted b/c someone did their research on me. The entity I sued isn't super well known or high profile. Not only am I a lawyer but I do have an unusual career & a pretty face (and this isn't me being boastful but relaying facts others have told me a billion times).

If this isn't a sign that my personal privacy could end up being no more in the future, I'm not sure what is. I have to wonder if press attention can't be far behind if I did end up getting sued and had to form my defense/response.

Nonetheless, I hold true to a fact that only smart people know: no one cares about your own interests more than you. Which brings me to another really good point. Pay attention, folks!

In NYC, there is a continuing rally on Wall Street to end the systemic corporate greed in the US that favors rich people. Here is a general article on the matter.

While I'm not at the point to go out protesting myself & there are elements that I don't agree with (such as allowing incompetents to continue working in jobs they aren't suited for out of mere sympathy), in principle I support this type of protest. At least these people are getting off their asses & doing something, which is more than you can say for the majority of apathetic, whiny crybabies who'd rather sit on the couch with their big fat butts watching yet another insipid installment of the latest stupid reality show. These are the same people who tell you to never argue or stand for anything & just let the Man continue to anally rape you, so to speak. Speaking metaphorically of course though I'm sure some of this group would gladly bend over, spread their butt cheeks & scream out "Thank you sir! May I have another?" There are many weakened, cowed people out in the world & one should never underestimate that number. The legal profession alone is swarming with them.

Recently, I heard about the police brutality. Not content with allowing folks to protest & be heard, the NYPD apparently decided to beat up people who were already handcuffed, pepper sprayed women, etc. I wasn't there so I don't have eyewitness experience but I did see the photographs. So should you. Draw your own conclusions.

After hearing about this, a few thoughts crossed my mind:

1. I really hope some attorneys were present. Ideally, some who are civil rights/1st Amendment lawyers but even the ones from the group that goes to protests incognito would be good. I forgot the name of the group but there is a public interest group of attorneys that goes to protests specifically so police officers stay in line. They are future witnesses & will help people who are brutalized for exercising their constitutional rights.

2. NYPD officers aren't very smart if they're being the henchmen for Wall St. executive types. For one thing, Bloomberg was ready to lay them off last year before the whole "averted terrorist attack" at the theater district by the fellow who lived in CT. Second, I promise you that no Wall St. CEO or political figure will appreciate them or do a damn thing to help them in any layoff threats or concerns for their families. Maybe the higher ups but the rank & file guys actually out there maintaining order?? You're hopelessly naive if you think you're going to get real benefit from it other than maybe some sadistic pleasure of harming someone smaller than you. Bloomberg didn't even invite the first responders at the 9/11 scene to the 9/11 memorial event this year & that was a significant controversy.

I'd like these officers to consider if they'd want someone doing such things to THEIR kids or their spouses. There are methods of maintaining order but at the same time, I'm in favor of free speech. It's not my task to determine proper crowd control & again, I wasn't there so I can't say that wrongdoing indeed happened. But...when you hear no names of people doing this or about any suspensions, you do have to wonder if there's some wrongdoing taking place.

And personally, I think any of the responsible CEOs reap what they sow (they know who they are & who they aren't) + if it were me, I'd never bother protecting them. This is one of many reasons why I would not be a good police officer. I also have way too much righteous indignation & a fiery temper; I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Why can't these people be more like that sheriff who refused to evict people from their homes in the economic crisis in order to satisfy greedy banks? That sheriff should be held up as an example of a GOOD law enforcement officer; someone in favor of enforcing the laws that matter vs. being some corporation's Rent a Police Force.

This is essentially what any officer who engages in police brutality against this type of protest is in my book: a Rent a Cop for whatever corporation they are protecting. Got any clue how security people are treated? From the experience of people I know who've done it, not very well. The pay is definitely lacking, that's for sure. Not to mention the arrogance & shitty behavior from the little Hitlers who abuse their authority & make the sane people look bad!

So, with that brutalization, why in the Hell would you do a damn thing for the raping & pillaging mega-corp that's never going to do anything to help you? Remember, you have to help yourself in life & look after your own interests.

3. As I've said a million times, you leave people with NO means of doing anything good in life you create criminals. As that pool increases, there will be better criminals, smarter criminals.

4. There are also many more poor people than rich people. Everyone deserves to be treated with some basic humanity & let me tell you something else, would be police officer who thinks beating up protesters is okay: you're not part of the elite class & you will not be invited to the table no matter how many people you beat up.

4. Did anybody see Bowling for Columbine? Does anyone remember the message of that film? Oh, and did you know police brutality perpetrators that if you go beating up on the middle class white girls, the press will attack you like a pit bull going after a piece of meat? Especially if the white girl is pretty, related to or has friends in high places. Next thing you know, you'll be beating up some politician's kid & getting suspended, fired, whatever! Psych studies confirmed this.

So if you're going to beat someone or douse them in pepper spray, you may want to be careful & think before you act.

Then again, if you manage to scare some hipsters out of Brooklyn & other gentrified areas with brutality, maybe some of the less feeling hipster haters will overlook it. Especially if you're not otherwise bothering them.

I, however, have a real problem with the idea of the police behaving like the private police force of the corporate elite. Just so you know, you will eventually be the protesters (layoffs anyone?) & if you want the public to support you or your cause, you might not want to be known as those assholes who beat up young people who are doing nothing more than venting toward insulated pricks who refuse to wake up to reality or behave like human beings. You have to wonder if some of these corporate muckety mucks have any souls at all. I'm speaking of highest level folk only, not the lower level crowd. I get a sense a fair amount of them know the score already & don't all behave like drones.

Personally, I think of such folks as just being a bunch of old white guys I can't relate to & who have no clue what living in my shoes is like. Smart people respect the experiences of those whose lives they haven't lived & could never understand but I suspect a good contingent of this crowd isn't very smart. Call me a cynic but I'll reserve my final judgment for personal encounters as I always do.

Extra Gig #5: Working Overnight & Coming Home at Daylight

2011-09-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

Until this past Friday, I had not worked an extra gig in over 5 months. This is largely because I got a temporary part-time day job that was paying better for shorter shifts than most extra gigs (hourly, my rate was significantly higher & in keeping with what I'd expect to earn in the marketplace). Next week will come the entry on that experience.

Personal circumstances limited the timing of this one. Let's just say there is a drastic, serious need for bankruptcy reform in this country & the student loan lobby along with top executives at every single student loan outfit (especially concerning private loans) should die in a horrible, tragic manner. But that's for another day & when the story officially concludes. Stay tuned.

So I happened to get a call from Central Casting asking if I was available for a Friday overnight shoot where I would get to wear casual clothing. Being as A) I'd never been on a set overnight, B) I'd get to wear casual clothing instead of having to bring dressy stuff as I tend to do (I generally selected work that required evening gowns & dress clothes since I have a lot of it I never get to wear) & C) I select these gigs now for any new, enhanced experience I can get I said "Okay." Not to mention it feels more special to me if I'm invited to participate vs. putting myself out there for something. I just happened to be free at the time & how ironic I got this less than a week before my Entertainment Committee meeting (strengthening my argument that I can get paying extra work so there's no reason I should do it for free).

I also discovered it was for a feature film and while I've been on a film set before, I'd not done so as a Central Casting extra. Even more new experience to scratch off. Plus, this was with a company I'd not heard of with principals I hadn't heard of (thought that's not saying much sometimes) & in a part of Brooklyn I hadn't been to. That reminds me, I've got a Yelp review I need to write.

I get to the set and we're in a gym. Reminds me of going to high school in the late '90s; apparently the film was taking place in the early '90s so kind of helped the mood for me, I suppose. I also decided to watch "Clueless" on my DVD player while I was there (the only major electronic I brought with me since it was light & could be transported easily; nothing like lugging a laptop at 3 a.m., right?). This led to conversation with the person in charge of corralling the extras, Jason. Jason was also the Assistant Director.

I have to admire this guy because he took charge & command by sounding an awful lot like me. Seems you need someone who can be an enforcer & not give a damn about hurting anyone's feelings if you want a good AD since I saw similar on my first extra gig. It made me wonder if he'd considered pursuing a legal career, another job where not being worried about what anyone thinks of you helps tremendously. Honestly, though I don't think you'd make all that much as a lawyer today unless you knew someone who had their own multimillion dollar law firm & would hire you no matter what school you went to or how bad your grades were. This man was so professional, I had to pass along my business card. He also passed on some industry knowledge I'll be sharing with my partners if it ever comes up (personal experience with someone in the business: give me insight on that & you'll get praise from me in an instant). Jason had a lot on his plate with over 200 extras to organize.

I was portraying a concert goer & later in the night, I was glad the wardrobe people told me to wear the short sleeved shirt I'd brought under the man's shirt I was wearing (hubby gave me that one recently since he'd outgrown it & I wanted to keep it) instead of the tank top I arrived in since it got COLD when we had to go to the set. I also had my long sleeved drape shirt that I could hide easily but I was still a bit shivery at points. Honestly, it put me in a 90's mood since that was a look I had in high school.

One shocker: not a single person I know was at this set. That surprised me a little since I was getting used to people who knew me as an attorney/film executive seeing me. At least it made the undercover aspect & movie watching easier.

These days, my networking is more strategic & targeted. Unless someone's in a networking group I belong to, I'm not dealing with anyone who's not at the place I'm going to or on that same path. I just don't have time for it & I don't need more people to get all pissy & jealous of me or resent me for any success I have.

Food here was not as plentiful as I've seen on other sets. On some sets, it's ridiculous the amount you have access to. I could easily see someone who did extra work often gain weight as a result of eating so much & sitting. Since I was hungry, I ended up going to a nearby pizza place (we got to go outside to a food place, which also never happens on these shoots) & still need to review it on Yelp. More food was around later, including water which was much appreciated. Smaller production, smaller budget. I kicked myself for not bringing some food from home; after all, I'm more self-sufficient & don't tend to assume others will feed me. That comes from a culture of having to fend for yourself & knowing no one else is going to do anything for you.

We also definitely got that promised concert & got to make actual noise during filming. It was encouraged, which rarely (if ever) happens. I also got to sit near the front of the concert area. Another rarity: I could have brought people if I'd wanted to. My husband wasn't interested so it was just me.

On the redhead front, I saw a red-haired guy & a couple females who I don't think were natural redheads. Regardless, I'd still consider myself unique anyway; no luck finding that elusive twin to trade places with.

I also think I must give off some vibe of authority or aura of being more concerned w/the behind the scenes folk since people in charge have asked me questions or given me a benefit of the doubt you'd not give to the average extra. I've been treated like someone with competence & not just on one set either. Nor did I mention what I do in my real life. At least if I were in their shoes, I wouldn't necessarily do some of that stuff.

So, the lessons learned here:

1. Caffeine and/or sugar (for people like me who can't drink soda so much). If you're going to do an overnight shoot, make sure it's plentiful & available to everyone!!! The background was nodding off by the end at around 6 a.m. or so. We were sitting in rows and I saw people with their heads down.

I noticed these two guys who seemed to be close friends hanging out with each other. One of them had to get up per the AD's direction and it turns out the other guy was resting on him! I thought "You SUCK! The guy who'd let me sleep on him is at home in a comfy bed with our cat probably snuggled next to him." I also wondered if maybe they were a gay couple.

But caffeine & sugar, especially for anyone dealing with heavy equipment.

I can now see why cocaine was so prevalent in the industry back in the day (maybe it still is in some circles). However, cocaine is illegal so let's stick to caffeine & sugar, all right? No one needs to go to jail in a drug bust or lose time, money, etc. from that craziness.

2. If you're going to get hundreds of extras, make sure the person responsible for corralling them has a bullhorn or a megaphone so people can hear him/her. At the very least, invest in an air horn so people will shut the hell up while the person is speaking.

Okay, I should admit that I am heavily partial to air horns. I'd love to get one but my husband won't let me. He claims I'd use one to wake him up but I beg to differ. I love him. I would NOT do that. He'd have to do something terrible to me before I consider inflicting permanent deafness.

I would use an air horn to get noisy people to shut up. One sign you have no business working with the public: you'd seriously consider using an air horn to make stragglers leave the establishment you work in at closing time or if they continue to yammer on about the same point you've given them the answer to. No one can talk louder than the sound of an air horn.

Can you imagine the fun it would be to have an air horn? Someone pissed you off yakking on their cell phone? Blast the air horn! Noisy child with a lazy parent? Set off the air horn right at the deadbeat or the child's ear! I'd pay to see that, seriously. My husband thinks I'd have way too much fun with one. Maybe we should see about getting them for people who direct our films so they can maintain order if yelling "Hey, shut up!" doesn't work. More effective, safer & you won't have to get a firearm permit vs. shooting a gun like the one teacher did in Boston Public to get his class of at-risk students to listen to him. No arrest records with an air horn or at least far less likely.

3. I'll listen to my colleagues when they say I shouldn't be doing overnight shoots or discouraging me from certain things. Happily married people belong at home in bed with their spouses or at least snuggled with them if they're going to be on an overnight film shoot. My husband didn't even sleep that well when I came home at about 8:30 a.m., dog tired, wearing make-up and carrying my stuff. My sleep schedule was screwed up all weekend.

Good lessons and overall, glad for the experience. BWBN5JRMHZ98

Why It's Insulting to Tell a Woman "You'll Change Your Mind" When it Comes to Kids

2011-09-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't read earlier entries, I'm going to tell you this right now: I, The Angry Redheaded Lawyer, am childfree. As in, I do not have kids & I do not WANT kids ever.

To familiarize yourself with childfree lingo, see this earlier post. I was checking Facebook earlier and saw a friend's status update concerning an issue of pregnancy. One of her friends decides to bingo her with the old "maybe you'll change your mind" line, implying that because she's not met her future husband yet and is under 30, somehow her declaration of childfreedom is invalid.

I, being a childfree person the words didn't apply to, could not let that one slide. If you are a decent childfree person & you see this happen to someone else, you won't let that slide either.

So for those of you who say "But I'm just passing on worldly advice!" and think you're being well-meaning when you say something like that to someone, let me explain why it's considered a "bingo":

1. You're infantalizing the person. You may as well say "Oh, you're just a little girl. You don't know anything!" and pat them on the head. Guess what? I've heard that statement myself & I find it just as insulting to my intelligence as when doctors claimed they would "try to talk me out of" getting sterilization.

For that matter, if the law says an 18 year old is an adult then stop infantilizing 20 & 30 somethings. Otherwise, why not make us property one again & then we'll never be punished for our crimes?

2. You're butting into an area you know nothing about. Do you fuckers LIVE my life? Do you know how to read minds? Do you know anything about my household income, career prospects, the space I inhabit in the world? Do you live in my household? You don't? Then shut the hell up!

Your life does not = my life. What works for you doesn't work for everyone. Just because YOU changed your mind DOESN'T mean I will. Furthermore, even if you couldn't adopt or get fertility treatments, we have plenty of kids in this country who could use an adult mentor or some mother/father figure to spend time with them. Plenty of organizations have big brother/sister programs so if you really want to be around kids badly enough & to shape/mold their lives, it doesn't require demanding a woman to destroy her body with pregnancy. You could even be a teacher if you so choose.

If someone's telling me this crap, I know they're an idiot. It would be insane & sheer lunacy for me to give up my career & my marriage for some baby-rabies stricken man who'd demand me to be barefoot and pregnant.

3. You have no respect for the person's choices. You are attacking their way of life. I've not heard about gay people saying this stuff but if you were a gay person telling someone this, how would you feel about me not recognizing YOUR relationship or saying "Don't say you'll never date a (wo)man!"? You don't hear gay people saying "I was gay when I was younger but when I turned (30-35-some higher age than the person they tell this to), I met & married (Opposite gender name here). Now we have 2.3 kids & still live in wedded bliss." Unless maybe they were in one of those stupid "we'll make you straight" camps or saw some scumbag where they "pray the gay away." It doesn't come up in normal conversation.

Gay people would find that disrespectful. Same thing for doing that to a childfree person.

So, well meaning person who espouses this stuff? How would you feel if I said to YOU that your low paying/status/prestige career that you loved was simply a faze and you'd eventually change your mind to take a higher paying/status/prestige career? What if I told you you should stop having kids since the first one was part of a faze? You'd almost never hear someone say that stuff. If you did, everyone would instantly say "Oh, let that person be happy. It's not affecting you. Have some respect for their choices." You'd also get some of that if you attack someone for being gay (amount varies on where you live).

Why the hell can't you get more people to do that with women who don't want kids? Is it part of a Republican conspiracy? They do want to outlaw abortion, you know (go read some recent actions by some politicians [twerps, if you want to be accurate], especially in the red states) & I haven't seen the same whackjobs stand up for voluntary sterilization.

By the way, if you say this as a total stranger, count on me not dealing with you again or doing you any favors. BWBN5JRMHZ98

People Who Kick Ass & The Failures

2011-09-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

So, I've read a few news stories and the like lately about people who did awesomely great things I'd totally do if it were me as well as about events I'd beat the crap out of someone for doing to me.

First off, my husband introduced me to a website called Passive Aggressive Notes. Check it out for yourself. He says he regrets doing this because on any site where I read a story, I try to read all the user comments (largely to see if there is any hope for humanity or if I need to focus any vigilante justice on particular regions of the globe).

See this post. It epitomizes why I personally hated high school & the writers of Strangers With Candy were dead on when comparing high school to prison. Note that this post also illustrates the main problem of most high school administrators: they focus too much on trivial issues vs. real problems like drugs, bringing guns to school, fights, sneaking in alcohol, etc. Sorry, but I'll take "lewd dancing" over a fist/gun/knife/weapon of choice fight or drunk teenagers puking everywhere.

Perhaps I say this because I couldn't have paid money to get a high school classmate to engage in dirty dancing with me. This sort of thing is standard fare in clubs & college but they serve alcohol at those places (well, maybe not on my campus but if you had friends or were over 21 you could easily get alcohol & especially if you were female).

Why would you want to do it if you weren't dating the person & you knew most of the room was sober? At least if you're doing it & everyone's drunk, you can say "It wasn't me; you were just drunk & must have been seeing things." Personally, I would be way too self-conscious.

Perhaps I also say this because no one really cared about dances at our school unless it was the prom (we didn't even have other dances except for the prom & sometimes Homecoming, which was nothing).

At the prom, everyone was dressed up (in the late '90s long evening gowns were the style), some of us were over 18 at an off campus venue & no way would any self-respecting woman get her dress dirty on the ground to engage in this type of dancing. Even grinding would be kind of hard in a long evening dress. Do you know how much it costs to clean an evening gown? Or repair one?

I think my mother would have also pointed out the shitty grammar. She'd likely even say that it's further proof that these "adults" aren't worthy of our respect. If these people had to go through college & can do no better than that in writing (while my mother did not & is a very good speller), they are obviously morons. God help the youth of America. I'd hate to see what these students' essays look like. They'll likely send me shitty cover letters in a few years.

Let me also clue you old farts in on another reality: teenagers have likely done or seen most things. They're not 5 year olds! They have the Internet (can we say "porno"), friends on social networks & have likely heard/seen far worse at home. I consider "think of the children" a shitty argument to begin with unless you're talking to a parent about THEIR kids but it really doesn't fly for me in dealing with teenagers. They're supposed to be "young adults" & preparing for real life. Do you really think most things would be novel to them before the age of 18 if they lived in real life? You can't even cloister kids at religious private schools from the secular realities of life (just consider the number of teen pregnancies that happen) so I find it hysterical that a public institution would even think to try it. This is why British TV on teens will always be superior to American teen shows: the Brits don't act like teenagers are clueless little innocents!

I also don't recall this dance being open to grown ups. If it were, you might have an argument but otherwise, this is just about a bunch of old farts who need to let go & join us in modern times. If this were my school, I'd boycott & point out how you're banning break dancing, swing dancing & other forms of dance that are hardly lewd but would violate their little rule. Not to mention the arbitrary nature of it all! If you doubt I would, read about some of the things I did do in high school to piss off the Man.

Here's another human being fail. If you ever do this to me, bad things will happen (as you can read about in earlier posts). Or I'll likely write you a full diatribe about how you're not my parent, I'll eat & cook what I damn well please & that you have the option NOT TO EAT something if you declare it "unhealthy."

Or the best response: "Yes, Jeff I want you ALL to be fat & unhealthy. Especially you! You are all mental midgets and Jeff, you're the biggest one of all. Here's a Twinkie!" Note: if I tell you to eat a Twinkie, it means I really hate you since I hate Twinkies. I've tried but I don't like them. Give me a Hostess cupcake or one of their other treats instead. I've never had their Ding Dongs or Ho-Hos.

If other office dynamics work like this, is it no wonder I'm happy working by my lonesome???

Now, for some people who rock.

First off, Katt Williams. I'm all for his stance here. People who stand by what they say get points in my book. And by the way, my husband & I know who Katt Williams is from The Boondocks considering A Pimp Named Slickback has to be one of the coolest characters to ever grace an animated series. So there are some white fans. One of my husband's co-workers tried to see him live one night but apparently he'd had some kind of mental breakdown so the show was cancelled. I 100% agree with his comment on Tracy Morgan.

Second, Billie Joe Armstrong. I've not been a big Green Day fan since "Time of Your Life" came out but I agree with him on this. Southwest Airlines apparently declares itself the fashion police, as we've seen in the past. Do "Jesus freak" style Christians run it? Are on they on the board of directors? That's the only reason I can think of why any airline would choose to make the flying experience even more demeaning and insulting than the U.S. government already has via TSA & all the "security screenings."

This is why I refuse to fly unless I can go in a private airplane or you don't mind me showing up in a bikini. Maybe you should show up in a G-string bikini or just a G-string if you live in a state where women can go topless as long as they aren't advertising i.e. soliciting sex? I don't know & I refuse to bother with it. I'm sure Southwest Airlines would kick you off the plane if you showed up in a G-string bikini or any bikini. Eventually, I'm sure we'll all have to show up naked or do strip searches if we aren't already.

Finally, a lawyer decided to do something I've talked about doing myself. I haven't done it b/c my husband wouldn't allow it but I have no problem with someone doing this. The ABA has sold everyone out, there really aren't any powerful advocates for the situation most attorneys who don't have jobs are in (and new grads have it even worse since they don't even have experience to set up solo shops) & you'll never see real change until these coward lawyers get off their butts, stop worrying about impressing other lawyers, enlist support from more sympathetic groups/movements & take action.

Personally, I think blood may have to be shed or some unscrupulous collection agency will have to kill someone before real action happens. For one thing, you have to deal with the know-it-alls who say "you shouldn't have gone to law school; you should study THIS demanding field" and other pearls of shit that aren't one size fits all solutions & do nothing for people in a current situation. I want people like that to suffer greatly since clearly they've never faced hard times & are far too brainwashed to do anything more than let the slave master shit on their foreheads/anally rape them/whatever graphic atrocity you can think of. Maybe evolution will eventually breed them out of existence.

Second, you have the bar examining committee who'd make you give up your license for doing this. I still find it laughable that they have a character & fitness committee for lawyers in their outside lives, especially when this same committee will refuse to admit you for being poor while a rich guy who pees on federal memorials, sells drugs, fakes his credentials, espouses racist views and God knows what else lawyers from moneybag places have done & STILL get to keep their licensing. Another classist institution that if I were involved in you bet would be handled differently. It's also incredible that some of these people will turn their noses up at things & espouse the same views as the know-it-alls on comment forums when they also have never faced hard times. Guess what? I hate these sorts of know it alls & feel they should keep their mouths shut on matters they know NOTHING about. A million dollars says they'd crack like eggs if they ended up in the same situation & would never cope as well as this woman.

Oh, but guess who else I love? The holier than thou religious types who say "Don't be a stripper! God will provide! Work at Wal-Mart!"

Okay, Wal-Mart is just as degrading & according to many they are Satan. I think it's about equal on the scale of scumminess. Have you seen that website "People of Wal-Mart"? Do the churchies have any clue how much it costs to go to law school? A Wal-Mart salary barely feeds one person & provides zero medical care (as we've learned elsewhere); how would you ever pay off law school loans?

Plus, no lawyer would put up with the abuse that goes on in Wal-Mart & no sane manager there would dare hire someone who knows their legal rights. I still maintain that being a prostitute would be better than working at Wal-Mart. God also helps those who help themselves, unless you forgot that part of the Bible.

I don't recall a commandment that reads "Thou shalt not be a stripper." I recall "Judge not lest ye be judged" and "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor" along with scores of other passages these harpies have likely broken a hundred times in their miserable little lives. Oh, and if we're going with the "body as a temple" thing, then let's talk about tattoos, pierced ears, shaving, cutting your hair & any other cosmetic changes that violate how God made you. Bet you won't like that conversation, will you?

I also don't recall this woman saying she was having unprotected sex with married men or raping anyone (yes, women can rape men). If these men want to pay the money to see boobies, that's on them not the business owner & not the dancers taking advantage of it.

Same thing as Mr. Fat Police earlier; your vices are YOUR problem, not mine & not everyone else's!! Take some personal responsibility, douchebag.

Carla, I hope you read this blog or one of your friends does. You'd actually be someone I could probably stand & be okay with having as a fellow colleague. I'm sure you're not the kind of asshole that makes me hate most lawyers & hesitate to do anything helpful for them. If you do more interesting things & want help in the mainstream entertainment world, let me know. I'm sure many of your clientele are attorneys themselves so let's just think about that hypocrisy for a moment.